fuck everything and everyone who doesn't have their faith in me. what do i want?? security. a fun life. everything opposite i have now. at this moment in time, i have nothing. no car. my phone is in alexis' car. my wallet is in seans car. i can't get to school tomorrow. i dont have one dollar to even take the bus. nothing. what am i supposed to be ( Read more... )

I'm an insomniac right now. Let's just say i'm not handling life well at the moment. i've done so much crying in the past two days. so many thoughts in my head. so little outlets for them. theres so much in my head and its all clumped together like in a ball. meshed so tightly i can't divide it up to think clearly. i have issues that im not dealing ( Read more... )

I've never felt so helpess and lonely in my life. I wrote about what happened in my blog, but it gets more personal and deeper in here. Dave called on Friday and made it clear he was disgusted with me because he found out about the other man I was dating. It didn't really bother me because we both were aware we are just friends and that has always ( Read more... )

I am in love. This is the first time I believe in the phrase love at first sight. I believe it in the sense that souls can connect in ways we don't understand, but the feeling is there and mutual. There's really no other explanation besides lust I guess. But I know what lust feels like, and that isn't the case here. We saw each other at The Greens ( Read more... )

I am satisfied with my body as of now. BUT, I'm ready to start restricting again. I've been doing so well for the past few months, so I think I'm ready to do it in a healthy, conscious way. I'll update to keep track.

Last night was a lot of fun! We went to BJs and drank martinis and flirted with the bartender. Josh met up with us and we went over to his house for some party, but it turned out to be a freakishly decorated house with five people inside. So Karri and I left and went to the Greens. There was a live band playing music from the 70s and most of the ( Read more... )

Here is what I would like to say to people who I can't be honest with ( Read more... )

Tonight was it. I'm through with him. I'm feeling depressed once again. Depressed because he makes me feel like dirt. trash. shit. He is such an ass. i hate being hurt.

I have started school once again. It's hard to say I am truly ready for this, but it's easy to say I'm ready for a change. This weekend was not what I expected it to be at all. Friday Dave and I were going to drink and hang out together. Instead, I just got pissed at him and threatened to go home. One of these days he's going to just let me go home ( Read more... )

I'm still here in FL and it is hot and muggy. I will begin with how the beginning of my trip went. I drove to LAX in the worst possible traffic, cutting it pretty damn close. I make it on the flight and get stuck in Houston because of bad weather. So I drink two margaritas and take a nap on the airport floor. I finally make it to FL 4 hours later ( Read more... )