staring at the same walls in the same rooms is starting to make me go crazy. it's getting to the point where anything outside of this house seems like its too much...i shouldn't have to convince myself that it's ok to leave. this is me at my worst

i wouldn't trade my new life for the world...but after 2 years i still wish things were different. i miss my old friends...one in particular. i keep asking myself "where did they all go?" but i know the answer to that question ( Read more... )

lolah will be three months old in 3 days...i still can't believe im a mommy.
life is good!
i stepped down to part time so i could be a stay at home mom. i don't mind being broke so much if it means i get to spend time with my beautiful daughter. she's grown so much in such a short time...watching it has been amazing.

i don't think i've ever felt more overwhelmed with so many different feelings. i want to leave but don't know how.
this is my beautiful daughter, she's the best thing that has ever happened to me.


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four more weeks and it's all over. All of it. i know this is not where im supposed to be.

this is not where im supposed to be.

i've done nothing but take other peoples feelings into consideration and i'm done. i've never said one bad word about you, exactly the opposite infact. i've tried to aplologize more than once. of course i wish things were different, but they're not. We can however choose to get over it, move on and just except things the way they are now.

this year is going to be pretty crazy....i can't wait til january!!!!

i hate this constant feeling of being lost inside my own head...feeling lost and incomplete. the feeling of needing something that isn't there anymore and won't ever be.
im having a hard time hanging on.

my ability to bounce back is what keeps me going. to all my friends who were there last night i appreciate everything you did. you are all amazing and thank you for trying to pull me away. i should have listened but i never do ( Read more... )