I want to work. Yes, I know that being a mom and taking care of the house is work. But I want to contribute to the family financially. But, alas, it seems that being a Mom is all I can do at the moment ( Read more... )

I've been so blah lately. I don't want to do anything. I'm pretty sure I'm going into a depression. I'm just so down. I think my problem is that I think too much. And it seems as though everything in my life is falling apart around me ( Read more... )

I figured out how to keep myself sane. Yesterday I was so depressed after my post. I realized just how overwhelming everything can be. I tried to figure out how to get everything I want and need to do into one day and it's just not feasible. Then today I had an "ah ha" moment ( Read more... )

I'm so stressed. I have a ton of stuff I need to do on a regular basis and about 20% of it is actually getting done. On top of that money is tight. I need to work. Unfortunately I can't necessarily do that. The kids aren't in school full time yet. When they are they'll be in school from 7:30 to 2:10 Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday and ( Read more... )

I have no motivation lately. I didn't realize it at first because I felt I was pretty busy. Today, however, I had some time for reflection. I'm busy, but I'm busy planning things. Not doing them. There is a bunch of stuff that I need to take care of that I just haven't done. I'll mess around on the computer, clean, or play Skyrim. But ( Read more... )

I'm constantly upset at the state of my home. It feels like I spend all day on the computer and do nothing around the house. I decided to change that. A little belated resolution. I'm going to work at keeping the house clean ( Read more... )

So I started another journal because I don't really use the name AmethystRose (amethystrse) anymore. It's only on sites that I've been on for a decade like this one. But I realized that was a silly reason to switch journals so I'm back ( Read more... )

I keep on having these bad waking dreams. They're kind of like a day-nightmare (as opposed to a daydream). I have this terrible feeling something is going to happen to Frankie. I keep on envisioning him dying. Not so much how he dies, but what happens after. The guys in uniform showing up to the house, the kids and I trying to make ends meet, ( Read more... )

I'm sick. I've had this upper respiratory thing going on for a week now. It started Wednesday with the sniffles. By Friday and Saturday it was so bad that I was basically useless. Sunday I just laid around. I could've done stuff but I was still feeling icky and sort of milking it. Yesterday I felt a bit better and by today all that's wrong is ( Read more... )

I've been practicing Reiki a lot. It turns out most of my friends here in San Diego could use a little healing help. I've also started doing distance healings on friends who live elsewhere. About once a week I do a distance healing for some friends ( Read more... )