I'm so overwhelmed. I understand that this is a common feeling when you're leaving for college in two days, but I'm really fucking overwhelmed. I want to be excited to go, but I'm not; I'm scared as fuck. I don't want to leave anything here and I just get sad thinking about it. Something tells me that's not going away in less than 48 hours.

i want to update about this summer but i don't even know where to start. there was the fair on 4th of july, adventureland for the first time since i went with cristin and we became related, lots of work and friends and ben although it really doesn't seem like enough. i have a roommate. at least i hope i do. we weren't supposed to find out until ( Read more... )

i am way too passive for my own good

sometimes i think i overdramatize, but i don't know if that's solely because it's contrasted to my pretending to be completely chill, or because i'm not rational. maybe a bit of both. i wish you understood what was in my head without me having to say it sometimes. or at least understood that there is time and place for everything and tonight would ( Read more... )

i've either just turned into a judgmental horrible human being, or i've really been one this whole time and just never thought about it. i should try to stop. maybe that'll be my summer goal. my leg is hot from my laptop. i want to see ben more than anything. i need money, i need to buy his birthday present, and i need my period to come. or just be ( Read more... )

I have no idea how I'm supposed to be able to leave you. None at all. I'm too invested, too attached, but I don't want anything less. I just can't stop thinking about it. I think about it all the time and it gets me upset constantly and I don't know what to do about it anymore ( Read more... )

I am going to University of Connecticut ( Read more... )

where to start ( Read more... )

Last night was so bad and I hope it doesn't happen again.
I have a terrible feeling I'm just prolonging the inevitable kind of, but hopefully he'll actually let me know what's going on in his head.
First day of aerie was pretty good.
Hopefully it'll be okay.

Lee and I talked about it, and I'm pretty sure yesterday was memorable.
Laying in the grass and sun = perfection.
Ditching dinner and going to a diner with Leorah and Evan was adorable. I haven't laughed like that in a while.
Mark is seriously becoming one of my best friends.
Ben is no longer in Texas.
Life is getting better :-)