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Having a rough night. Got to talking about my great grandfather tonight and ended up crying for I miss him. It is nearing the date of his death again...it will be 3 years at the end of the month. Sometimes I find myself placing blame upon myself thinking if I had just been home. If I wouldn't have gone over to Mike's maybe he would still be with me

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[marestellarum]

, more . I know that it has to be really really hard for you, but you can't let yourself think that. Your great grandpa lived a long life, I'm sure you made the quality of the end of his life a LOT better than it otherwise would have been. Even if he never said so, I'm sure that you did. Nobody can help it when somebody passes away, but you did the best that anyone could do in that he got to spend his last years with his family, which is all anyone can ask for. Yeah, you maybe could have stayed home, but I'd like to think that he was happier that you went out every once in a while and had fun. He got the best of both worlds, he got to see you mature into the person you (and got to see you have some fun along the way), and he got to spend time with you. I don't know if this helps at all, but I'm giving you mental hugs and I'll keep you in my thoughts.