Why, when I speak to Keren, does she sound fine?  Why am I sobbing when nothing is set in stone?  Nothing has been determined yet.  She does have cancer.  That is one indisputable fact.  It has definitely spread to 1 lymph node.  That's it.  Nobody has set that Keren is going to die from this.  Nobody has given her a time limit on life.  Nobody ( Read more... )

Yes, I have finally reached onederland (199 lbs) after quite the plateau.  I have figured that my body is probably in starvation mode, as I don't usually eat more than 1 meal a day, and have decided to switch things up in the coming days.  I am currently so sick that the thought of food is disgusting, and exercise is impossible.  I am nursing a ( Read more... )

I got on the scale this morning, and it was not what I expected.  As a matter of fact, it said I had GAINED 7 lbs.  Needless to say, something has got to be wrong here.  As I said in my last post, for some reason my female issues can completely throw off the scale.  And, although I'm nearing the end, I believe that probably has a lot to do with the ( Read more... )

I've decided to use LJ as a weight loss journal.  This is a journey I don't ever want to forget.  I never ever want to forget what it feels like to be 221 pounds.  Once I get all this weight off, I want to remind myself daily (if needed) of what it's like to be fat ( Read more... )

Alright, this has been a crazy couple of days.  I wanted to keep track of everything that has happened, so LJ seems to be the way to go.  About 3 weeks ago, Mackenzie started getting a cough.  This is nothing irregular for a 7 year old.  She didn't have any other symptoms, just the cough.  She was acting the way she always acts - lots of energy, ( Read more... )

Wow.  September 2, 2005 is the last time I journaled.  Geez.  A lot has happened since then!  Mackenzie and Kegan are huge.  They might as well move out on their own, they're so big!  CompuKids is going great.  I'm opening one in Greenville in the fall.  The ultimate goal is to be able to franchise it out, but that takes a ton of money, so it'll be ( Read more... )

I just totally hate myself right now. I haven't felt this low on myself in a very long time.

Ahhhhh, yes, it's been a while. Well, let's see. Mackenzie started kindergarten last week. I thought my heart might jump out of my chest the Sunday night before her first day, but we survived, and all is well. We have a routine going, which is key, so we're hanging in there. I had forgotten how important weekends are, since nobody in this ( Read more... )

So, we just got back from the fireworks at the new park, and it was nice. The Charleston Symphony Orchestra was playing as we waited for the fireworks, and it kept getting darker and it was about 9:00, and the conductor was talking into the microphone, and all of a sudden, this HUGE plane comes around the corner, and I thought we were dead. I ( Read more... )

UGHHHHHHHHHHH - for 2 days in a row, I have woken up, sat up, and had the room spin around me a few times. I'm so fucking dizzy. I've always had dizzy spells, but never for 2 days in a row. It's usually lasted a day, and then the next morning I'm fine - which is what I was banking on today, especially since we're supposed to be having a party ( Read more... )