The past couple of days have been dark and blurry. I really haven't been able to complete sentences b/c I just don't believe what happened. When it happened I remember just screaming "no" and "why God". Mainly I've been trying not to think about it but my brain knows and then it just goes blank again. Nothing makes any sense ( Read more... )

I lost one of Madonna's baby's while giving it CPR in my hand tonight.

The baby took it's last breath in my right palm.

Joe buried it outside. I'm done.

I can't even begin to describe what or how I'm feeling right now. Madonna has 5 babies so far. Pug is still in the hospitol. And I watched Beth's puppy dieing today. It had Parvo and so Gano had to PTS with the shot in the heart. :'( Trying to deal with so many things at once I actually got to the point where I said the Gd word and that's the worst ( Read more... )

Puggie has only a little chance of making it. His heart has been affected. Grandma is running an ad so that I can place most of my babies. I can't do this anymore. I can't watch them suffer when they get sick. I can't take the death just like almost 2 years ago when Kaylee killed her kitten.

I can't stop crying.

WARNING - the following contains the word vagina for all you prudes and guys.Got that stupid sonogram done this morning. *whew* and amen! Ended up having to do the vaginal ultrasound b/c my bladder was only 1/2 full and I was bursting with water ( Read more... )

Oh yippee, the day o' sonogram. And of course I got up at like 2:30am. But it'll be nice to put on some of my sha-way makeup. I think I'll do MAC, Stila and Urban Decay today ( Read more... )

Joe just had some kind of breakdown in the living room and started the name calling. He HATES IT when I'm calm during one of his whatever-they-are's ( Read more... )

Mr. Pug is sick with a UTI so I put him on Cephalexin last night and washed him's wittle pee pee off but he's still hiding in my closet since noon. He's so warm. :( Beth had socks on her hands to help me when I did all this last night just in case he tried to haul it. That way she wouldn't get bitten or scratched too much ( Read more... )

Well here goes my sleep shed-u-al. I made a buttload of points so now I'm wasting them on slots. You'd think it would be easy for me to just say, hey it's alright, I'll go to bed. But noooooo, the slots have a story. And EVERY time I capture the 6th (out of 7) jewels, my computer freezes up so I never know what the story is ( Read more... )

And all the hate you brought ( Read more... )