Fandom rant: Mamoru/Usagi and Canon glamorizatioon
This post is in response to the pairing discussion at sailormoonfans.
You can click the link to see other points I make that I left out here.
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WARNING: Massive wall of text.
I really just can't stand Mamoru/Usagi (mostly in the anime) not just because of how awfully Mamoru is written and their love to me is one big forced pressure of obligation (They were together in the past, so they're together now in the present, but wait their destiny is to have a kid and rule a kingdom in the future! No getting out now! Seriously, if that's not pressure I don't know what is. I'd personally feel trapped and upset my future won't have the adventure of the unknown. I like the mystery but also having faith in the couple that no matter what happens they'll make it work.) but certain fans glamorize it as the "perfect" romance.
No, okay, just no. This is where I disagree. You can love this ship and favor it above all others all you want, I'm not going to argue over how much you love your OTPs because there's no point to it, people are gonna like what they like. But to constantly proclaim "Its perfect" "Mamoru's the perfect boyfriend" just grinds my gears. I'll admit I find Mamoru much more tolerable in the manga and even in the live action version (due to his character getting more spotlight) but the anime just gave me so many reasons to develop a massive dislike for him. Hence, why I dislike this canon pairing so much. As a couple, behind the capes, they really aren't all that great to me.
Mamoru started of as the jerk with the heart of gold trope, a trope that I admit I like a lot in characters because I appreciate sass, but he came off as an f'in bully at some points. Making fun of Usagi for her looks and stating that someone "must be pretty stupid" to take romantic interest in her. Ouch. Mamoru fans find it cute because the latter comment is clearly a sign of jealousy but I see it as crossing the line. At the start of season 1 he didn't really know Usagi, they weren't even friends. So you can't pass it off as teasing between friends because their relationship wasn't even established to that point. There is no excuse for him to be so mean to her. Why, all because she threw a crumpled paper ball at him without looking? No.
Usagi IS very childish, its just who she is and yes it can be quite annoying. So some fans do feel like she needs someone like Rei to bring her back to Earth sometimes. But you know what? She is still technically a kid and 14 is a very impressionable age for a girl. Girls that age are very insecure and exhibit low self-esteem, often carrying it to their adulthood. If you have someone ripping on you like he did at that age would you not hold a lot of inner resentment for that person? Yet everyone pardons Mamoru because he's cute and he's revealed as her true love but Rei gets much more hate in fandom even though Rei has proven to be a true friend to her on more occassions than Mamoru has. (I don't even want to get in to how ridiculous it is for people in the fandom to hate on Rei JUST for dating Mamoru briefly in the anime first because that's just ludicrous.) Yes, Usagi has had her share of mean sayings to Mamoru but guess what? She was sticking up for herself. Nearly all the mean things she said were in retalliation to him being mean. Does that make her less wrong? No. But the point is Mamoru shouldn't have picked on her in such a nasty way. While I agree that Seiya was played out like Mamoru in season 1, they did him right, he never went as far as Mamoru went and kept his teasing on the playful side and they got to become friends on their own without the assist of being dramatically trapped in an elevator.
Then we have what really made me and probably many others come to dislike him. The break up in R. My god this was both stupid and terrible of him. I don't care if it "caused him more pain" than Usagi, you never see that in comparison to how soul crushing Usagi's breakdown was in the telephone booth. So he got dreams of Usagi in impending danger, and he decides to push her away for her benefit instead of oh I don't know manning up and PROTECTING her like he promised he would? And what made it all worse was how he handled the situation with lying about not having the same feelings for her anymore. Usagi had the idea that this was all her fault and then beat herself up about how she could've wronged him. She even went to a store hoping to buy some make up later in hopes that it would attract him. She wanted to change for him. To add insult to injury he was cold to her when she asked about him giving Unazuki a ride on his motorcycle. As if she didn't think she was less desirable already. Yeah, its obvious he didn't mean to hurt her but that's exactly what he did probably even more so if he had just been up front about the dreams in the first place, communicate healthily like a couple should. This isn't what I would call "perfect" much less "pleasant", its painful. If a guy did that to me I would never want to see him again for indirectly messing with my head that way. His good intentions shouldn't excuse or justify that.
After we pass these milestones we get to the S and SuperS seasons here is where Mamoru begins to lose his personality and become this bland mold for an "ideal" boyfriend. He was the attentive mature boyfriend with some deep pockets. Perfect, right? While this is to blame on the writing, having Mamoru lose all personality, depth, and just to make him a stand in; He still does things that don't really come off as "perfect". In S he forgets Usagi's birthday. However, this is played out as no fault of Mamoru's and it was really Usagi who had never told him when it was. But I still find it baffling that you've been dating a person for more than a couple of months and know you're going to end up getting married with a daughter and rule a kingdom in the future yet it never hits you to ask this person for their birthday..? This WAS before Facebook, everybody. So you had to ask!
Then we see Usagi is struggling with her exam scores and Mamoru just bails on her to give her room to study. While that's a reasonable thing to do since Usagi plays more than works, why not help her out and try to tutor her? Clearly even study sessions with Ami weren't cutting it. Maybe she needed more assistance? In SuperS he had the PERFECT opportunity to help his girlfriend out when they were all in his appartment studying and he was chatting it up with Ami instead, subsequently stealing Usagi's attention away from her studies and making her jealous. Really? Your girlfriend is struggling and instead of helping her out you talk to the girl with an IQ of 300, the least likely to need your help?! He could have TRIED to stress she needs to attempt to take her schooling seriously than merely withold attention from her. This is kind of why I roll my eyes when people describe Mamoru as "supportive". That's not what I see in these scenes.
As destroymarysue stated in her comments, he became her father instead of her boyfriend around this time of the series. It just bothered me that he rarely couldn't be silly or childish himself all probably because Usagi was enough for the two of them. They just didn't click for me or even have much in common when you take away their hero lives and destiny. I agree with destroymarysue on Mamoru not really loving Usagi for herself because there are instances his actions show he doesn't. There's moments where he's embarassed to be seen around her and in one of the movies he's READING while she's talking to him, that's pretty damn rude and Usagi had every right to get upset or think she's an annoyance to him. Let's not forget in the Promise of the Rose movie it is Rei that is shaking Usagi and begging her to wake up while crying and Mamoru just sits there in the corner tearing up and doing nothing until it hits him to kiss her corpse. He could've showed more emotion or done something more useful like CPR or something if he was aspiring to be a doctor(Ami too), instead he was just sitting there feeling sorry for himself until it was his cue to get off his butt and give her "true love's kiss". But movies aren't usually canon to the anime so I digress.
One of the biggest moments Mamoru/Usagi shippers adore is when Mamoru bought Usagi that designer outfit in SuperS and he was left with no money in his wallet and Usagi cheered his sour mood up by saying she was overjoyed. While cute, shippers, that's just an example of how someone can easily buy your affections. Now I'm NOT saying anyone with money can make you fall in love with them. That's not the case here, Usagi and Mamoru have loved one another for quite a long time at this point. Yet buying things for people is something pretty much everyone does even for people who are NOT their significant other and will never be. I spent my whole allowance that took years to save on souvenirs for my best friends when I went on a trip. I love them but not romantically. So buying things can't really be a way to measure or prove one's love for a person unless it was something they genuinely need.
Mamoru is pursued by a lot of women and even men that take interest in him, while his loyalty to Usagi is encouraging, he up and did something that made me upset with him again. When Fisheye came on to him, he asked Mamoru what did he find so attractive about Usagi and his answer? "She has a lot of dreams." ....Really, Mamoru? Really? This is your true love, and you couldn't think of anything better to say in her defense? You know you can easily say that about an overimaginative child that you love platonically right? It would have been better if he said that being with her was his dream or that they shared the same dream for the future along with she's the love of his life, but no, we got that. I'm pretty much feeling the same frustration I had with Prince Derek when watching the Swan Princess. Princess Odette looks at him in disbelief that he said "You're everything I ever wanted. You're beautiful!" and she replies "Thank you. But what else? Is beauty all that matters to you?" and he asks "What else is there?". Yeah that's the kind of answer I feel like that is. Dig deeper, gentlemen. Much deeper.
And now you probably think that I'm pinning this all on Mamoru for why this couple's not my top choice, that I think Usagi "deserves better". Well while my dislike for Mamoru burns intensely I do think Usagi isn't a right choice for him either. She is very emotionally immature and codependent on him. While her impressionable age might contribute to that, Usagi seems to have Mamoru hold some power over her. The break up explanation is an example, along with the fact that Usagi easily gets jealous, but most importantly Usagi constantly has the need for validation from Mamoru and that's pretty exhausting on a couple. He shouldn't have to coddle her all the time, he's dating her not babysitting. I think she should have taken his trip to America as an opportunity to do some soul searching and develop some emotional growth and independence from him. Yet even if he was "miles away"(actually dead) that was one long umbilical chord that wouldn't quit. While I love Usagi's character and her development through the series, her relationship with Mamoru convinces me she has much more growing up to do and Mamoru shouldn't be there enabling her.
Now I think I made it clear about Mamoru. He's not perfect or an ideal, he's presented to the audience as such yet this image slips through the cracks because of the awful writing. He's written as a "lovable" jerk, a father, and a "good" boyfriend yet not in a way this makes it all cohesive for a person. Instead it comes out as 3 different people and that's why I can't bring myself to like his character. Furthermore, I feel like they tried so damn hard to avoid portraying him as a flawed character so he became this cardboard prop that's right or forgiven for everything he does that comes off wrong because he's a "perfect" good looking man and everyone loves him.
Whenever Usagi overreacts he just sits there and takes it or tries to "kiss it better" most of the time. As if, now that they are a couple, they are magically absolved of the ability to bicker with each other. Its healthy for couples to argue and differ in opinion, it doesn't mean they are less "supportive". And I find that pretty dull and just unfair people write off their constant getting along and Mamoru being submissive to her whims as him being "supportive". That's pretty much presenting Usagi as the only one out of the two of them with actual flaws. How many times do you hear the senshi talking down to Usagi regarding how much Mamoru has to put up with while dating her? Quite a few times. Yet Mamoru usually gets off clean from this treatment because he's such a saint.
For me, this is such a total bore. I find it hard to believe just their "miracle" love alone is enough to get passed these issues. Relationships are work and that's not really what I see here. And the idea of the two ending up married with Mamoru being a doctor and Usagi being a....housewife I guess (We never got to know what Usagi wanted to do AFTER she fulfills her bride dream because she had a mental list of possibilities she wasn't sure of. In my opinion, this could have also been to blame on her dependence of Mamoru for her future. I honestly think if she was on her own she'd try harder to figure out what she wanted like the rest of the senshi had.) I find pretty depressing. My father's a doctor and my mother quit from her job due to health issues and became a stay at home wife. Its not all white picket fences and roses people, its him working late nights and her trying to find something other than household chores to entertain herself and feel like she has more purpose. You see this with stay at home moms on tv shows all the time, they hit a wall where they feel depressed because all they're doing is taking care of their family. Its a big struggle of confidence and I see Usagi becoming sad she won't have Mamoru's constant attention. Her friends at that point would have their own lives and careers so unless they made an effort to get together weekly, it'd be pretty lonely. We hardly see Usagi exploring hobbies and interests beyond her friends, Mamoru, and eating. Which would leave her with not much to do but sit around and eat during the day. Now I'm not saying aspiring to be a housewife is wrong, its all a matter of preference. But this also falls under the category of Usagi needing more independence and time for herself to figure out what she wants out of life without counting Mamoru in the picture all the time. She needs to get to know herself more.
Seiya, with all of his problems, is written as a flawed character but most of all consistant and that's a breath of fresh air to me. That and not everyone likes or pardons Seiya in both canon and fandom. For every person that likes Seiya there's probably 10 or more people that prefer Mamoru. To me, a flawed character makes a more compelling story and romance. I'm sick of this shoujo trend that one half of the main couple is a flawed character and the other one's perfectly perfect, its tired and unrealistic. I personally prefer Seiya with Usagi (as a couple or even settle for bros) because the two can act like silly kids together and that's what I like to see more, its entertaining, but in no way do I dub it "perfect" much less "superior". It merely strokes my fancy. People ship things canon or noncanon because its how they fulfill their need for something entertaining to acomodate to their tastes. Just because something is canon doesn't make it pefect either.
Now I read the arguments against Seiya/Usagi and I agree and understand there are many things wrong with Seiya/Usagi like I pointed out how there are things wrong with Usagi/Mamoru. Does that mean we're going to stop liking what we like? No. And just because someone ships Usagi with someone other than who you ship her with is NOT a personal attack or some attempt to convert you to their OTP and hate yours. Its a mere freedom of expression. If you're going to love your OTP, by all means, love it with all your heart. Just please stop trying to turn it into a competition because yours fits your personal definition for the "perfect" pair. I believe there'd be less ship wars if people shook off that mentality.