Comments | anahata56: All the news

anahata56

All the news

Jun 28, 2009 09:29

On Friday, Barb The Home Care Nurse (she takes care of both Mother AND me at this point) called me from Mom and Dad's house to let me know that Mom was running a fever of 101.6. Their doctor's office was closed for the day (which is a whole 'NOTHER issue, that may or may not be expanded upon later), and Mother was so weak that she probably could ( Read more... )

mom and dad, health

Comments 40

ladyqkat June 28 2009, 16:38:42 UTC

Okay, having just recently been through this with my late mother, I know how difficult it can be. That you have family that is close enough to be emotional support for you will make things somewhat easier.

Yes, he does not realize how much he cannot do because, in his mind's eye, he is still as capable as he was even five years ago. That is what makes this transition so very, very difficult ( ... )

anahata56 June 28 2009, 16:43:01 UTC

This is the place I suggested to them. They had friends who went there, so it is not an unfamiliar place to them, and it's not far from where we are now. I think it would be perfect for them--hell, after yesterday, I think it would be perfect for me! But the levels of care they offer are very flexible, and all the places are really cute, from what I can see here.

I have a request in to them for brochures, and want to take advantage of a tour for them. I think that once they are able to SEE it, they will see the advantages. But it's getting from here to there, mentally, that will be the challenge.

ladyqkat June 28 2009, 17:01:24 UTC

That looks like a good place. Always remember though, what is in the brochures will, in practice, be somewhat different from the reality ( ... )

saavik June 28 2009, 18:55:44 UTC

"That looks like a good place. Always remember though, what is in the brochures will, in practice, be somewhat different from the reality ( ... )

Thread 5

rickvs June 28 2009, 17:06:11 UTC

What everybody else is saying. Hang in there :/

anahata56 June 28 2009, 17:19:26 UTC

Thanks, Honey!

(The comment has been removed)

anahata56 June 28 2009, 18:51:53 UTC

You know, this is a terrible thing to say, but if they were less on the ball than they are, this might be easier going. But in their heads, they're 40. A little forgetful, but really--not as much as I am sometimes.

Physically, they both need help, but they definitely have all their buttons, and know exactly what's going on. Mom accepts it--Dad doesn't. But denial of reality isn't necessarily a sign of dementia--how many of US do it on a daily basis? ;-)

saavik June 28 2009, 19:10:43 UTC

It's a fine line where denial slips into delusion. A difficult thing to guage ( ... )

siliconshaman June 28 2009, 20:42:08 UTC

*hugs*

I have to say, I kinda see where your Dad is coming from, I don't enjoy being unable to do some things as well as I used to. It's easy to slip into denial. BUT... you are doing the right thing. Honestly, I think you're mum is going to have to put her foot down.

[and really, if it was me, I'd be packed before you could blink. I mean, it's like a vacation for Hel's sake!]

saavik June 29 2009, 13:40:42 UTC

The nearest thing I can think of is, it's like living on a cruise ship. I pointed this out to Dad at the time, and it seemed to calm him somewhat since it was an experience he and mom had shared not too long before as a 50th anniversary present. It was a familiar concept; thank heavens he remembered it as a happy experience.

jaxomsride June 28 2009, 23:46:50 UTC

It's a tough decision for him to make. It must be hard for him to admit he can't cope, he has his pride. However he does have a responsibility to your mother too. Does he really want her made seriously ill because he's too stubborn or prideful to admit he needs help.

They are both retired and should be enjoying their last remaining years together. Could he be persuaded to viewing it like a holiday, where he doesn't have to worry about things like shovelling snow, gardening more than he is wants to an so on?