not sure why i'm even bothering. i'm looking for therapy. i'm trying to exist. i feel like the person who casually and rarely is spoken about in conversation sandwiched between a rock and "what ever happened to her anyway?". i feel like a fish with a hook in my cheek when i try to write the note that says "i quit" and now im starting to get sick of ( Read more... )

spun the lighter on the tabletop
smoked the lucky cigarette
unleashed tidal anger
and grasped your beard in my hands
with a tug i kissed you
that tarry kiss
it still sticks doesn't it?
if your lips taste like death...

...you know it was me

marked with red so everyone knows
who is killing you future

i won't say i didnt want to give up on him. well...not that i 'wanted' to be that i just couldnt carry on. now im feeling so much relief and responsibility at the same time. i expected more weight to be lifted from my shoulders. im expecting him to love me like the new girlfriend and now the one thats been around for a year or so. i want things to ( Read more... )

oh yeah. and myke...you are a better writer. and a better musician. and a better friend. and more beautiful. you're just better.

PS ( Read more... )

ok ( Read more... )

dear oblivious ( Read more... )

so i'm working another weekend and i am reminded that i am several friends short. i feel like i lost them in a crowded mall...after i was mugged and raped. jesus it is a horrible feeling. oh well. i guess california is the best remedy. it scares me that i'm ok with up and leaving. i've decided to go to san diego state university and if all works ( Read more... )

too much so called love ( Read more... )

i just want to be alone with you
hang out with just you
kiss just you
sleep in your arms
alone

you keep playing
you stay away from sobriety
you keep typing, talking

dance with me one day