Sorry i'm late to this conversation; i just started following you on LJ recently. I know that you go to reenactments and things like that as a man, but are you looking to transition, erm, "full-time"? Or do you find the costumed outings give you enough "man time"? Again, you've probably answered this in great detail in the past-and if so, feel free to point me in that general direction, and i'll go read and catch up-but like i said, i'm new here.
I actually haven't spoken about my relationship with my gender much in print (it's one of those essays I'm perpetually writing and revising in my head) except for a short essay I wrote on gender and hunting: http://anathelen.livejournal.com/308709.html --
It's a strange, foolish feeling that arises despite all my strong opinions on gender equality, this desire to embrace the freedom of men that comes only at the expensive of women. It makes me long to rejoin my shipmates as Ben, to man a gun in the summer heat uncomplaining, and then come back to camp and enjoy all the silly niceties of women gossiping and giving me cake. It makes me grimace with my own hypocrisy to say it, but under such circumstances the company of women is charming instead of foolish, a relief instead of a burden, because I can stand on the outside of the female company that I have never felt fully part of. But it makes me despise returning to being a woman, and after joining the men and treating a woman
( ... )
Well, for what it's worth, i can relate to a lot of what you're saying. I don't know that i've written too much about gender on my own LJ, either. I grew up with a close friend who was FtM, and from watching him go through all of his trials and tribulations i knew that i was something like him, but not quite the same
( ... )
I'm glad to hear that you've been able to figure yourself out, and that you have friends who are supportive. It's good to be in a place where you can be flexible and happy with that.
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It's a strange, foolish feeling that arises despite all my strong opinions on gender equality, this desire to embrace the freedom of men that comes only at the expensive of women. It makes me long to rejoin my shipmates as Ben, to man a gun in the summer heat uncomplaining, and then come back to camp and enjoy all the silly niceties of women gossiping and giving me cake. It makes me grimace with my own hypocrisy to say it, but under such circumstances the company of women is charming instead of foolish, a relief instead of a burden, because I can stand on the outside of the female company that I have never felt fully part of. But it makes me despise returning to being a woman, and after joining the men and treating a woman ( ... )
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