Comments | and_then_i

and_then_i_nod

poll

Nov 20, 2005 14:15

without going into too much detail, here's a current situation where i'm looking for some feedback. my family is having thanksgiving on friday and i asked if i could bring a friend (female) to join us since she is not going home for the holiday. after two weeks, i get it out of my father that no, this is not permitted due to my mother. now, as ( Read more... )

Comments 9

mixiez November 20 2005, 19:34:23 UTC

i would not go. the whole point of things like thanksgiving it to be with the people you care about... at least i think that is what the point is... and if you are just going to be uncomfortable with your family then just have thanksgiving with your friends.

and_then_i_nod November 21 2005, 22:51:35 UTC

my favourite part of this is that my bio family's thanksgiving is actually the last out of 6 that i will attend. the amazing part is that i have so many people embracing me, that they are my family.

it's just scary to grow up and say goodbye and realize that any hope you had is getting faint.

oh well, at least i have the l word :)

_the_engineer_ November 20 2005, 20:29:56 UTC

I've boycotted the family thanksgiving for much less than that! infact, my family was happy to have Kamilah come to NJ for Thanksgiving. And they probably assumed (in error) that we weren't just friends. I say don't go. Going would enable your mother to live in denial.

You could always bring up the fact that the Pilgrims didn't just have family members at the dinner table, so by disallowing your friend, your mother is being Untraditional and straying from the true spirit of the holiday. who knows, it could work...

and_then_i_nod November 21 2005, 22:55:11 UTC

or i could say, "hey mom, remember when the americans killed all those indians? yeah, my friend that i want to bring is indian. and even though she's 'dot not feather,' that's gotta count for something!" .....or not :)

i decided to ask my mother WHY! she doesnt' want me to bring a friend. i mean, there should be no other reason except the whole "omg, my daughter is gay and is bringing a girl with her!"....and if she can admit that that's the reason why, then i can accept that they are no longer my family.

your comment was helpful. it had me thinking for hours (when you rake leaves, you can think about the same goddamn thing for so fucking long). do you remember what leaves look like?

ripped_paisley November 21 2005, 06:41:25 UTC

What would happen if you brought your friend anyway?
That would definitely make a statement, but not the best way to keep the peace (If it's even worth keeping). Realistically, you could just not go and have Thanksgiving with the girl instead. It would probably be more fun. I'm sorry your mom is being a pain in the ass. Either way, have a good one =0).

and_then_i_nod November 21 2005, 22:48:53 UTC

i guess i've never been one with the "oohhhhh, bitch slap" approach so it just wouldn't feel right. plus, i'd never put my friend in that uncomfortable environment where i'd be using her. i think we're both going to have our own substitute families during the actual day, it was just a matter of me inviting a friend to my family when she couldn't go home. principle.

blah blah, it'll work out in the end. hope yours is a good one as well.

marshmallowstar November 21 2005, 14:43:25 UTC

I think it's time to cut bait and swim. You're an amazing person partly because of the way your parents raised you but they didn't raise you like this. You deserve to be around people who care about you AND accept you for the fabulous person you are. There's a reason you created Gaygiving, that you decided to live on your own even though it would be way more affordable to live with your parents, and why you gave the car back even though it was gift. You have such incredible integrity and strength, don't put yourself though more pain than you need to.

and_then_i_nod November 21 2005, 22:45:43 UTC

what are you, confidence in a pocket?

so much more to say about this, but i'll just stick with "see you on wednesday partner!"

nope nope likeno1watching November 22 2005, 12:48:58 UTC

i say no thankyou please. the spirit of the holiday is to be thankful and embracing and accepting. Its a shame the mama can't be thankful for the fact that she has an amazing daughter with so many gifts and celebrate that. Instead she's being a debbie downer. Spend it with your family, the people who love you and care about you for everything about you...or spend it with me:) or at least come by...there's always pie for lesbians at our house.