today is the last few hours of 2024 and i guess i made it another year. with one meeting a week and one am weeknights and William coming and going and Katie and now who knows with Patrick what will happen ( Read more... )

i don't even want to write this one, because Chau died... he died on july 6 and i haven't written it in here. it's almost been two months without him and he was one of my pinned texts. i still have his email on my phone because i was his personal damn assistant and i miss you, boss, i miss you so much.

now it's all falling apart and it's all ( Read more... )

My beloved grandpa is gone, has been gone since September 27. I miss him terribly and it was all a whirlwind. Summer was a lot - I was so tired. I finally had a chance to breathe when camp was over. I had a few Thursdays with him. And then on august 25 dad texted and said he went to the hospital. And then he was so angry but at least he was himself ( Read more... )

Boundaries. Resentment ( Read more... )

I feel guilty… my words are empty ( Read more... )

They discontinued my Smokeys and I’m gonna run out in a couple weeks... so I’m panicking and want to die and then try to ignore it... But I get real upset when I think about it... it ruins everything ( Read more... )

Before the pandemic about a year ago I remember feeling stuck but thinking it would pass. I remember being tired of spending so much time at moms, late at night at the geffen, never at my place, and thinking it would be worse before better because summer was going to be another drama camp year, plus the Scottish play. I remember thinking that I ( Read more... )

After all that I got covid anyway, from home. So much for safer at home. I’m having all of the feelings- anger, resentment, guilt, fear, shame, anxiety, and so on and so forth ( Read more... )

It’s been 7 years since I wrote last but I’m still here. I am almost 10 years sober. There is a pandemic and everything has changed. But also it’s all the same and has been the same ( Read more... )

Stuff just coming up today that makes my head spin a little. Thought of high school which made me think of this site (which I kinda forgot about ( Read more... )