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Feeling like shit again
Just sitting here at fwa and being reminded that I can't even pretend to be myself. Really wish I could start over with my life.
I don't think there will ever be a time when I will be able to look in the mirror and not see a man.
Posted via LiveJournal.app.
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A sudden update
In less than a week I move back to Atlanta. I'm job hunting and all that and have my first months rent squared away. Been seeing a therapist, though I'm going to have to switch to get one that can reccommend me for hormones and stuff. I'm working on my budget and plans for the various surgeries I might or will need (FFS, vagplasty, stuff like ( Read more... ) -
Tired?
Sooo...
Lately I've been having trouble typing or even being half coherent shen I get tired which normally isn't a problem. But lately I've been hitting this wall at about 1:30 or 2:00 at night. It is really bugging me. Auberge it's just all the stress I've been under, or the excercise I've been doing. It is a mystery.
I'm excited to be going to ( Read more... ) -
Cut off
Bleh. I wanted to write something about feeling cut off and lonely, but it keeps ending up sounding dumb.
Simba has me walking 6 miles everyday to get in shape and lose weight. I want to get back down to around 200 pounds. A little less than what I weighed when I was trying to get into the navy. I figure that by the time I weigh that much I'll ( Read more... ) -
Day off maybe?
Don't get me wrong. I like making money, but I hate my job. Stresses me out, stresses my car out, and most days I end up with the cheap motherfuckers who don't tip for shit. I end up driving out 7 miles to meet someone, waiting 15 minutes for them to show up, then getting given exact change ( Read more... ) -
For those who are probably wondering...
I figure it's about time that I let on to what has been up with me lately. I know my page layout has changed new avatar, maybe even new mannerisms. Well, after a whole load of introspection I've come to the realization that I am more comfortable as a female.
Now for some of you who know me, I hardly look fem IRL. Some might say I look more like ( Read more... ) -
I really should update
I have two people who still read my journal. I'm sitting here at work waiting for someone to open the store and watching the parking lot flood. Whee!!
For those who don't know, I met a guy from Columbia, sc and went to see him this last week.
<.<;; I didn't know age regression was so fun or so addicting. Even with a sore bottom I'm ready to go ( Read more... ) -
Not moving
I've talked to my parents about the school situation, and they have agreed to help me out. I've just been freaking out a lot lately. Dealing with some really heavy stuff.
I won't lie, I really have no idea what I am doing half the time. I just want to stop feeling so weird all the time. Wishing I could just wake up in the morning and things had ( Read more... ) -
Leaving?
Giving some serious thought to getting out of here. School isn't doing too well nor can I work to afford it ATM. Plus my parents are driving me up a wall. This morning instead of my alarm waking me up, I awoke to CLACKCLACK CLACKCLACK CLACKCLACK. My mom typing out an email right next to my head. I can't live like this. Between my brothers ( Read more... )