Mm. Not really sure what I want to say, bit I feel like I should update. I don't really care about expressing how I feel anymore. It doesn't really matter. Nothing I say or write can change things. *sighs heavily* I was reading over my old blurty, looking at how depressed I was. It's.... so similar to how I feel now. Helpless. Empty. Depressed. ( Read more... )

Slept a full night, but I'm still dead tired. My head hurts. My arm really hurts. I have to figure out what I'm gonna wear to cover it up. I want lace, for once. So maybe my white tank top and my old black lace shirt. I wonder how it would look if I wore one of Joe's black button downs with it. I need nice pants. Like pin stripe. I have to take ( Read more... )

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Feeling a little better. Not as crazy and suicidal. I'm using this journal so I don't have to regret things. I'm going to post in the other, but here will be the things I don't want some people to see. A few of my online friends that I met through caleida, and Shaun. I end up saying things in that one that I always regret. And then I hate myself ( Read more... )

I cut again. My arm has yellowish swollen parts with dark red slashes in the center. I feel stupid and fake. All my lying. All these lies to myself. Running. Screaming inside. Taking what I can. Trying to find love in imagination. Idiot. I hate him. I fucking hate him. I hate myself more. I'm stupid. I'm blind. I'm so confused... I'm so broken. I ( Read more... )

My journal will blind the sensitive eyes! *cackle* And I LOVE this song, and will screw this man senseless. I need to get someone to play with my journal and put Gackt on the wall paper. I need to do that with my other one too.... Anyway, I have to start getting ready for school, and make a real update on my real journal. Sayonara, minna-chan.

Hey kittens. I'm never gonna update this thing, just so you know, as I already have a journal that I'm happy with. This is just so I can read friend's stuff and doo some fun stuff. As some people I know have LJs. If you want the link to my real journal, so ahrad and ask me sometime. All my love.

Meg