It's funny, I fucked everything up in four days ( Read more... )

I'm back. I missed you. Much love and whatnot.

My bed is wonderful.

Grand Inquisitor's Sophisticated Method of Interrogation:

Inquisitor: Are you a Jew?

Jew: No.

Inquisitor: Are you sure you're not a Jew?

Jew: Yes.

Inquisitor: Oh well, sorry to trouble you. Would you like to stay for cake?

Jew: Is it chocolate? I'm allergic to chocolate.

Inquisitor: It's an out-of-this-world lemon pound cake.

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I've never met a person who didn't like Queen ( Read more... )

So here's a dream I had, because I'm bored and have nothing better to do. Being grounded sucks ( Read more... )

When you stop to think about it, most of the people you know are most likely pretty fucked up. And yeah, I'm sure you know they're weird, but seriously, they're probably just straight up screwy in the head ( Read more... )

I'm back from Vegas. And now I have a license. Neato. And yeah, I'll drive you bums around if you wish. But to be fair, you should have cigarrettes or a dollar or something. Or a smile, that works too.

I definitely stole this from Kendra. It's funny, but I look not a bit like these people. Except maybe a tad like Al Pacino.


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Anna Nicole Smith died. I kinda forgot she even existed. Thank you yahoo.com-That's also how I heard about the poor Crocodile Hunter. Steve Irwin really was a cool guy. Wrestling aquatic animals and whatnot.

Today I was watching the Tyra Banks Show, because I tape those now(yeah, I know, but fuck you, I like it). Janet Jackson was on. Her nose and her voice are just like Michael's. And then she'd randomly try and act black. Jeez louise ( Read more... )