I thought that everyone deserved a chance to be happy. I thought that I deserved a chance to be happy. I thought, stupidly, that everything would finally work out because it does for people, sometimes, right ( Read more... )

I don't want to be your dirty mistress ( Read more... )

I feel so lost.  Three weeks without a word, nothing at all.  I don't even know if you're alive, and if you're alive... why?  Why abandon me again, when you promised you wouldn't.  I want to cry, I keep feeling it rise up inside me, but there's this big empty hole the tears fall in and I just whimper like a child ( Read more... )

Unsettled and hurt.  It's been almost two weeks and absolutely no sign.  I was angry for a minute, feeling insulted, but now I am just afraid I'm being abandoned again.  And just when things were starting to become... Idk.  What it felt like they were supposed to be ( Read more... )

I spend every night waiting for you ( Read more... )

Sitting here curled up on the couch at six thirty am, smoking a cigarette and listening to music.  Waiting for time to wake up the niblets for school.  Except Cali is sick so I should say niblet ( Read more... )

So. It's done. Nathan's moving out at the end of the month. No more fighting. No more guilt tripping or belittling. My home, back. I look forward to it ( Read more... )

It's fucked up.  It's complicated. I want everything too. I don't want to do this al alone  i want to be picked  fucking pick me l ( Read more... )

I go for yet another ultrasound in four and a half hours... have to get CeeCee and Kiki to school in three and a half... and I can't sleep.  I feel like there's a hot coal underneath my ribs on the left and I'm not sure if that's my imagination, or if it's actually hurting.  It's one of those things that make you wish you were still a kid for, ( Read more... )

I want to give up on you, but in my dream I wrote your name on the whiteboard and your hands were around my waste and you whispered my name in my ear, but I turn and you're not there.  You're never there and I want to give up again.

Today is my dad's birthday, not my real father, but the man who was sort of my father, and I want to call him but mom ( Read more... )