15th Random Encounter - Everything you ever wanted to know about oozes but were afraid to ask

[animalhusbandry]

[Phone; filtered from drones]

Well, it looks like the town has finally decided to give us a passable boss monster for a change.  It seems to be doing rather well for itself so far, but worry not!  I happen to be an expert on oozes, slimes, jellies, and all other manner of amorphous sticky crawling masses of goo.  Just listen to what I have to say,

Comments

I adore you.

[bye_to_yer_head]

Are we supposed t' have any idea what th' bloody hell you just said?

*Because he lost you after the part about Hit Dice.*

[animalhusbandry]

I thought it was a rather concise explanation, myself. What are you having difficulty understanding?

[bye_to_yer_head]

*Everything.*

What yer even talkin' about.

[animalhusbandry]

I'm explaining how best to go about defeating the gelatinous creature the town has unleashed upon us.

[bye_to_yer_head]

It's a wad 'f goo. Can't be all that difficult.

[animalhusbandry]

That, sir, is a mistake made by many a now-dead novice adventurer.

[bye_to_yer_head]

You seen this thing? It's just full 'f floating people. You can probably jus' cut 'em out. Or turn a hose on it and watch the thing melt.

[animalhusbandry]

In my personal experience, fire is actually the best way to defeat an ooze of this size.

[bye_to_yer_head]

What would happen t' all the people in it then?

[animalhusbandry]

They would have some rather challenging Reflex saves to make.

[bye_to_yer_head]

So basically they'd be on fire.

[animalhusbandry]

Only on a critical failure.

[bye_to_yer_head]

.. a critical failure of what?

[animalhusbandry]

Of their physical ability to dodge fire, of course.

[bye_to_yer_head]

You can't really dodge fire. It's .. fire.

You sure you know what yer talkin' about?

[animalhusbandry]

I assure you, sir, I always know exactly what I'm talking about.