I was born in Florida 26 years ago. Back then, Florida was a lawless place, and Happiness dare not tread upon its terrible landscape. One day, when Florida was not looking, I escaped and joined the military. Trust me, it was better. Clinton was President and 12oz cans of Pepsi were 50 cents. There, I encountered many many people of ( Read more... )

Sometimes... my pants tell me lies.

Call for Submissions ( Read more... )

Persuasive Speech ( Read more... )

I discovered something great, but can't tell anybody. Something has been bothering me since I was like eight years old, and now I have a way around it. Oh well, one more victory for me. I'm gonna grab a cupcake and put a candle in it. Yay me ( Read more... )

I'm sitting at home, winding down from another day. The same freaking knot in my shoulder bothering me as usual. It's been there for six years. You'd think I'd be used to it. Nothing went spectacularly bad this week. I suppose that's all I can ask for. Of course, there's one more day to ruin my early claim to "pas y tranquilidad". We'll see. My ( Read more... )

So I found out why I've been having such crappy days. I apparently used up all my good karma for that Statistics mid-term I thought I failed. I got 54/60. I nearly pissed myself when I got the score. Wait... check that. I did piss myself ( Read more... )

Have you ever failed at something so bad that you don't want to show your mug around in the same place? I slipped bad today, luckily my face broke my fall. I gotta find something to get my mind on other than how much of a fucking retard I am ( Read more... )

I had finished my homework about 2 a.m., and then realized I had a statistics quiz in the morning that I had not studied for. However, it was really late and studying now would do me no good. So I decided to sleep now and wake up early enough to dodge traffic and study before the class. Genius! I did wake up early, got all my stuff ready, and left ( Read more... )

Push-ups in chain-mail. That's how bored this damn homework is leaving me. I need a new hobby, or maybe a girlfriend. I remember having one of those a long time ago.