anyway... jamie agreed to not talk about marriage and all that until i am ready. so, right now we are just bf and gf and thats all we will be until i come to him and tell him that i am ready to be more. so.. i am doing what i want. i went out tuesday night. i went up town tonight and he is at a friends house right now. he wanted to come over ( Read more... )

i am in such a good mood. i went walking today. i only did a mile and a half. i could have done more but i wanted to get back home to lilly. i couldnt stand to be away from her. plus my dad doesnt like me driving and all so i wanted to get back home before he did. he was hunting. my mom was here with lilly. i love her so much. lilly that is. i love ( Read more... )

its lilly's first thanksgiving!!! i am so thankful for her. i love her so much. i think she has gas. she has been pooting alot for the past 2 days and when she goes poop, she cries like it hurts her. i hope she is okay. if she hasnt stopped by monday then i am going to call the doctor and ask them about it. she is crying. ill update later. -Ash

but anyway... i dont know what i am going to say to jamie when he calls. he wanted to come over today and i told him no, that i didnt want to see him. that really hurt him. but i just dont feel like spending any time with him. he is coming over tomorrow to spend thanksgiving with lilly. he wants to come and spend it with me and lilly but as far as ( Read more... )

i have so many opportunities after i graduate. my aunt lives in atlanta ga, and she told me i could come and live with her for free and go to school there and lilly could come with me. she has a 2nd floor on her house that no one lives in and she would let me have that floor. and my uncle lives in atl too, and he has said i can come live with him ( Read more... )

i did that cause my computer goes out on me sometimes so i am just updating a little at a time to make sure it goes through. anyway.... i want to see other ppl. i am not ready to settle down. i hate that i am realizing this after i have a baby with someone but its how i feel and i cant help it. i am getting back on birth control by the way... so ( Read more... )

i am so confused about what to do about my relationship with jamie. i cant stop thinking about other ppl. not just other ppl in general i mean, i actually have like a person or 2 specifically in mind. i am not talking to them or anything but i am thinking about them and thats not good if i am with jamie. i dont know if i am "in" love with jamie ( Read more... )

i am on the phone with jamie right now and last night we talked about everything. and he got upset again and all so i told him to drop everything. i didnt mean to hurt him again... i just told him how i felt and all. i told him that i am not ready for marriage and that i dont want a ring for christmas. and then we talked about marriage and all. and ( Read more... )

i am so confused. jamie is talking about getting me a ring for christmas and i thought that is what i wanted but now i am not sure. i have always had thoughts about other ppl but i just brushed them aside cause i figured they are normal but i have really been thinking about dating other ppl for a while now and i dont think i should be thinking that ( Read more... )

anyway. my computer went bad on me. he had to go home today and he held her and started crying.... he didnt want to leave her here....:( but he will be back tomorrow. i have to take her to her doctor monday cause she has a very minor case of jaundice and she needs to get it seen about before it could possibly get worse... poor thing... other than ( Read more... )