Just wishing

[anmmurdock]

Ruth never friended me on facebook, not too suprised, disappointed though.  I would not excpect a good Christian woman to strike up a relationship with a married man.  So is my quandry.  I am afraid to leave the safety of my marriage and strike out into the unknown for fear of finding no one, and being all alone, yet it is the very safety net that

Comments

[solfox]

Given all that you've described, if it were someone else who told you the same, what would you say or, if not aloud, what would you believe he should do?

[anmmurdock]

Ah yes there is the rub. It is my moral compus and my fear that paralyze me. Let me add; my parents went through a nasty divorce and it took me years to overcome blaming myself. So is it love, pity, or a moral sense of duty that cause me to fear bring hurt to my wife. I am so afraid as well of not finding my soul mate and realizing that was as good as it gets. It is an interesting Biblical delema, for Jewish thought would say suffering is good for the soul, and maybe that is my lot in life, to suffer that others may be happy. I had a parishner that brought this delema to me. He had a wife that was unfaithful, and created great debt, yet he wanted someone to say it was okay to leave her, but as a pastor I could not say that. Does one cause others great pain, for personal happiness, is that being selfish? I didn't have the answer then for that man, and do not have the answer for myself. I guess that is why I hope I will find my soul mate and she will walk me through this divorce process and make it less painful. Wishful

[solfox]

Wish in one hand... (I think you know the rest)

[anmmurdock]

Yeah, it is better to hold on to what you have then to reach for something you do not, and end up loosing everything.

Thought of something but didn't sound that good. I was going to say; "At least I'll keep looking in the bushes." but that could get me in trouble. lol