Since you to go to the subject somewhat often and it seems to mean a big deal to you, I can attempt to add two cents. From what I gather, it sounds like you are looking for something that is rare, meaning not easy to find. Don't let it depress you that you are having a hard time finding something that is hard to find. It may be painful to deal with bouts of loneliness and red herrings in the meantime, but if you have high standards, you should come to expect them and not let them get you down so badly. All you really can do is give it time. One of the benefits to holding out for something special is the time it allows you to develop yourself more fully towards who you want to be. I believe you would see that the more you follow your interests, the more you will meet people who are on similar wavelengths, thus increasing the chances of finding what you want. Think more about what you want for yourself outside the realm of men, even if you do find someone you like, you will have to at some point anyways
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well, yeah i'm trying pretty hard to not let this keep me down....i dont know. just that this guy would do this to me, and i dont know how people can treat other people like he did...trickery, and i feel stupid for falling for it. oh well.
i do meet lots of guys...as i go through art classes and clubs and stuff, i meet people. theres a few guys i have good relationships with, but i guess thats good because i dont even think about how they are guys when they're around. i dont know, its just this guy who fucked with my head that is getting me down, but i do think that he's going to leave me alone (he wouldnt leave me alone after i said i didnt want to be his girlfriend). oh well, screw it i guess. i just have to push the experience to the back of mind like the others...
Well the point of putting it in your journal... well 2 points are
A) You have something to read when you feel like reading things you posted in the past.
B) Some people do read your journal and comment
Now my 2 cents *grins*:
Hun it took me a long time to realise somethin... 'life is what you make of it'. Not that your friends make of it, not what your parents make of it... but what YOU make of it. When I was younger I was alot like you are now. I was really quiet, kinda shy, and (in my case) very anti-social. (unlike you, if I was invited somewhere I would think of an excuse not to go... often enough I said I had to take care of my mom or something) And I feel like shit cause of it. I felt like I was in a crowd of people and no one heard me cause everyone was screaming and I had the voice of a church mouse or something like that. I did blame everyone else for a long time... but then I realised something, it was all on me. I was the one that needed to scream, they didn't need to get quieter. I was the one that needed to take the
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well, this bitch session in my journal was all really about phillip. i'm usually pretty loud and fun, but it takes a while for me to not have reservations about people. I've just learned to be careful with myself, and i find that to be an important part of who i am. right now i'm just living my life because thats what i need to do. and I do feel so much better since he's gone and I'm glad you're my friend....
but i dont feel like i'm unheard. i know that people will listen when i speak. but much too often when we're depressed, we feel like no one will listen to us. I am making my life, i'm not expecting someone to come in and make it all the more exciting for me. I was just really sad that i had actually thought someone wanted to be with me, and then it turned out he really wanted some ass....
i guess right now i'm just making big steps in my development as an artist that i'm leaving other parts of my life a little behind. but anyway, its cool and thanks.
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i do meet lots of guys...as i go through art classes and clubs and stuff, i meet people. theres a few guys i have good relationships with, but i guess thats good because i dont even think about how they are guys when they're around. i dont know, its just this guy who fucked with my head that is getting me down, but i do think that he's going to leave me alone (he wouldnt leave me alone after i said i didnt want to be his girlfriend). oh well, screw it i guess. i just have to push the experience to the back of mind like the others...
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A) You have something to read when you feel like reading things you posted in the past.
B) Some people do read your journal and comment
Now my 2 cents *grins*:
Hun it took me a long time to realise somethin... 'life is what you make of it'. Not that your friends make of it, not what your parents make of it... but what YOU make of it. When I was younger I was alot like you are now. I was really quiet, kinda shy, and (in my case) very anti-social. (unlike you, if I was invited somewhere I would think of an excuse not to go... often enough I said I had to take care of my mom or something) And I feel like shit cause of it. I felt like I was in a crowd of people and no one heard me cause everyone was screaming and I had the voice of a church mouse or something like that. I did blame everyone else for a long time... but then I realised something, it was all on me. I was the one that needed to scream, they didn't need to get quieter. I was the one that needed to take the ( ... )
Reply
but i dont feel like i'm unheard. i know that people will listen when i speak. but much too often when we're depressed, we feel like no one will listen to us. I am making my life, i'm not expecting someone to come in and make it all the more exciting for me. I was just really sad that i had actually thought someone wanted to be with me, and then it turned out he really wanted some ass....
i guess right now i'm just making big steps in my development as an artist that i'm leaving other parts of my life a little behind. but anyway, its cool and thanks.
Reply
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