so today.. is beautiful outside. its 420 and i of course and weedless. though i really dont care too much, as i know some will fall into my hands before the day is over. though i want nothing more right now then to be in oshawa with ryan... uhh. i think im going to beg my sister to drive me? or try and bribe her? im wondering how this will pan out ( Read more... )

so today.. Rob shows up around 10 this morning. and I didnt realize who was at the door but i was happy to see Rob there. He came into town to get some more hermit crabs, and he asked if i wanted a ride to Oshawa. And so I called my mum asking her to let me go.. and she did! so yea im here waiting for my baby to come home from work.. and he doesnt ( Read more... )

so, home from Oshawa now. back in Lindsay, same old. im pretty sure my whole body as a human entity hurts right now. mostly just on the insides though. its just the pain of seperation. and i dont think it will ever fade out, just get bigger? harder. lonely.
it just stinks a whole lot. and i find myself feeling highly confused and dis content.
i need ( Read more... )

SATURDAY! Im going to see Ryan! Im so excited! It has been so fucking long, too long. I just really can't wait to see him, and cuddle. I need cuddles so badly right now, cuddles and cute conversations. He is such a sweetheart ( Read more... )

im back home. feels pretty knarly. im looking foward to seeing my friends. i wish i could see ryan this weekend...
c'est pas facile.

i have to re organize my room. clean it all up. move my bed. set up my computer. i want this to be a success. i want my life to mean something. im sick of endings. i want this to keep growing, cause i feel like i keep ( Read more... )

somehow i'll work all this out, and make something of myself. someday. but when?

oh my god.. im so in love. i had the best past few days visiting at ryans place with his parents.. and of course him. he gave me lovely gifts.. a bag with a hemp leaf and jamacian colours, a sublime insence holder/ash tray annnnd 2 cd's. regina spektor's begin to hope and the garden state soundtrack. such a solid soundtrack. i got to see ariana ( Read more... )

i am so in love its disgusting.

also, im pretty much screwed, im a faliure. i dont know how to save myself.

today, well yesterday. monday was a really good day. school was alright, left early came home and napped. its late, i need to sleep soon. but anyway. i made pizza... the crust and everything. it took me like 2 hours to make it all, but i looooooved it. 4 of my friends came over being, gravelle, rob, lisa and rick from class. it was nice to ( Read more... )

life's a bitch.. but what am i gonna do?
just keep pushing, keep it up.

though im pretty happy. i think.