HOUSE OF BROKEN SOULS Part 35
Warnings: This Chapter: None. Overall: Slash, sexually explicit content, graphic violence
The fiction includes a mental illness storyline. I am not qualified in mental health, everything I know about it is googled. It's fantasy folks, please don't shoot me though helpful criticism is always welcomed.
*Not real. The folks aren't mine. No damage intended.
Lia (Cheebles) is still with there with help & support for which I am very grateful (hugs)
Jared worked his way through the scattered groups of chattering guests. He looked ahead, avoiding eye contact and forced himself to breathe regularly, exhaling slowly. He made himself recall that Richardson has a population of 100,000. In any case he’d changed, grown broader, his hair was longer and he was no longer the nervous, skinny youngster of his University years.
He found the bar, a mirrored, circular counter, accessible from all directions. He caught the eye of the bartender who indicated that he’d been seen and would be attended to shortly. He drummed his fingers on the counter and watched him pour shots for the elderly lady and gentleman on the far side of the bar. Their gaze also turned to observing the bartender and then lit on Jared. He felt their stares before he saw them. He looked over at them curiously and froze.
Beth was older, slimmer, dressed impeccably in her favorite, Chanel. Her hair was whiter than he remembered, her laughter lines deeper. The gentleman was leaning towards her, putting a comforting arm on her elbow. He was familiar. Jared remembered him, the same comforting arm, the concern for her evident in every move he made. He’d been there the day he left. The hate had been tangible, rolling off them in the stifling solicitor’s office. He had sat grieving and alone, guilt eating at him, unable to comprehend his position, wanting everything to stop and go into reverse. He had signed their documents with unseeing eyes and left Texas without a backward glance.
He noted that Security were well dressed. They approached him warily, hands at the sides of their tuxedo pants. He almost laughed out loud. When had he ever made any trouble with Beth Farra? He always went out of his way to avoid her. Her friend was making his way over, exuding the same hate he’d seen five years earlier, coupled with raw anger. Jared backed up a little as he found himself surrounded, but the counter was behind him, cutting off his retreat.
“This is a private function.”
He could feel his heart beating like a frightened rabbit’s, his palms were sweating but he wasn’t the same lost youngster. He was going to retain his dignity. “I was invited.” he said, his voice sounding more confident than he felt.
The elderly man was in his face now, grabbing his collar, red with fury.
“I think the father of the bride would know who is invited to his daughter’s engagement party and it wouldn’t include a gold digging whore. I have no idea what your game is JT, but you get out of this place, you get out of this town. You have no right to do this to Beth. There‘s no more money to be made from her.”
“I never wanted any…” His voiced faded, his collar was being held too tightly and Jared was choking.
Security prised the hands from his neck. “You should go with us Sir.” He acquiesced, nodding dumbly at them and followed their lead. The bottom had fallen out of Jared’s world as soon the man had spat his words at him. “Father of the bride.” Jensen’s father. Jensen’s family. Publishing. He’d known his connections to the business from the beginning, paid no mind to it. He felt tears prick at his eyes and his legs trembled beneath him but he held his head up and didn’t let it show. It was Mackenzie’s night and he wouldn’t create a fuss. The cab was already waiting and they pushed him toward it. He didn’t ask to collect his things, he had his wallet, there was nothing he needed he couldn’t pay for. It was chilly without a jacket but he didn’t notice that.
He got in the backseat of the cab. He wondered what Jensen would think when he found he was gone. He reached into his pocket but his phone wasn’t there. Another thought scared him. Perhaps Jensen had known all along? What if this was revenge, a public humiliation? He started to shake, his breath came too rapidly and after several miles the cab driver had to pull over as the tall man hyperventilated and then blacked out.
***
Jensen gripped onto Chad‘s arm, his fingers leaving red marks. They had searched the main areas, the restrooms, even the patio and cloakrooms, with no sign of Jared.
“Jen, listen, Laing’s not going to try anything here. There has to be a reasonable explanation. Just try to think what it could be. Look your mama’s here. She’ll know something, you’ll see.”
Donna broke into a wide smile “Jensen darling. You’re here!” She pulled him into her slight frame in an embarrassing show of maternal affection. Have you got a drink yet? Mac says you’ve brought a delicious young man with you.” she looked about “Where is he?”
“That’s kinda the problem Mama, he went to get some juice for me and now we can‘t find him.” Jensen tried to make light of it for his mother, but he saw her eyes narrow as she looked at him. His mother knew his every facial expression and right now he knew she was seeing fear.
“Sweetie, he can’t have gone far. Why the worry?” She looked at Chad, assessing his expression, every bit as clever at interpreting him. She gave her best reassuring smile “Describe him for me.”
Chad started “Sort of yay high.” He stretched his arm up high, “Kind of hard to miss on that score, dark brown hair, puppy eyes, ridiculously well fitted black pinstripe suit. If I were female I would probably say hot.”
She pursed her lips and scanned the room herself. “I think I would have noticed.” she said. “What’s his name?”
“Jared. Jared Padalecki. Hard to pronounce at first but you get the hang of it.”
He didn’t need to be skilled in body language to notice his mother flinch as if unexpectedly scorched. “JT?” her voice grated, her throat sounded constricted.
“JT Padalecki. The architect.” His mind caught up then. His mother had called Jared, JT. It was a nickname he had only ever heard from Mark. They had discussed this, Jared never used it for business or at home. It was the name he used on the streets when he was young and the name he shared in later years, when picking men up for casual sex. Jensen stared at his mother, trying to judge what it was she knew of him.
His mother’s eyes looked behind him and he turned to see what the distraction was. His father was striding towards them, looking pink and flustered. He noticed his son and greeted him heartily, ignoring Donna’s pointed glances. “Jensen, you’re looking good there. I’m hearing good news from Chad. I hear you’re bearing up well, all things considered. Mac is looking positively radiant so you will have to spend some time with her. It really is great to see you.” He slapped Jensen on the back affectionately, then stepped back to speak to Donna. “Apologies. Nasty business, got Beth a bit upset but it’s dealt with now.”
“What nasty business?” asked Jensen.
“Someone without an invite. Would you believe that? The nerve of some people.”
Donna was paper-white now and Jensen looked between them, sensing some calamitous truth. “We should go somewhere private.” Donna choked out. “Chad be a dear and tell Mac we’re stepping out. She and Andy will have to mingle.
“Why do we need to do that dear?” Alan Ackles was blind to the tension.
They shut the heavy wooden door and Donna checked behind the furniture and curtains.
“You’re being a bit 007 Mama. What’s going on?”
“Alan dear, why was Beth upset?”
“I said, we had an uninvited guest.”
“Was he about yay high, with dark hair and a black pinstripe suit?” She gestured with her hand high.
“Yes honey. Why does that matter? He shouldn’t be here. There’s a contract dammit, the bastard should leave her alone.” Donna snapped her mouth and looked sadly between her husband and her son.
“Pa?” Jensen was trembling “Who was it?” he already knew the answer but he didn’t want to believe, he needed to hear it spoken even if he didn’t want it to be so.
“This doesn’t concern you Jensen. Why don’t you go and help Mac?”
"Alan, I think.." Donna reached to touch her husband's arm but Jensen interrupted “If you touched Jared, if you made him leave Pa, then it’s every bit my business.”
“Jensen you shouldn't meddle with business you don't understand. All you need to know is that Beth has a contract with the man. He’s not allowed near her. I reminded him of that and he left. It’s sorted.”
“He‘s not in the suite Pa.”
“We found him a cab. Hopefully he’s well away by now.”
Jensen’s eyes were filled with tears. Donna glared at her husband and guided her son onto a chair. “I think what Jensen is asking dear, is why you asked his boyfriend to leave and where did he go? He‘s worried about him.”
“Boyfriend. What boyfriend?” Alan was still struggling to see what the fuss was about.
“Jared Padalecki is my boyfriend. I invited him. He was nervous about meeting you. I told him my family were kind.” A single tear left his eyes and trickled down his cheek.
Alan blinked and then blustered “But, JT, that can’t be right.”
“Mac’s already met him Pa. Why isn‘t he allowed near Aunt Beth, I don‘t understand that, he‘s not violent, did he hurt her? What did he do?”
“That’s nobody’s business but her's Son.”
“Mama?” he was pleading.
Donna sighed, caught between the two men.“He never hurt Beth. It’s just complicated and Beth’s business.” his mother wouldn‘t look him in the eyes.
“Then it’s simple, we can tell him to come back. It’s Mac’s party not Aunt Beth’s.”
Alan spoke again “You don’t want to be with a man like that Jensen. I can’t believe he had you fooled. Believe me, he’s a whore and a gold-digger and he’s not welcome in our house. Best you let him go. I mean a man like that, you’re not thinking long term, it’s no loss. He’ll move on to his next mark and you’ll find someone more suitable.”
Jensen suddenly didn’t recognize the man in front of him, he stared at his father in amazement and anger. “He’s a respectable businessman, a fucking incredible architect and I don’t care about his past, because yes, I know about most of it and what he hasn‘t told me, he‘ll have good reasons for. I love him Pa. If he’s not welcome in this family then forget you have a son. Enjoy your party and your society friends. Tell Mac all the best, I love her but I have to find Jared.”
He pushed past his father and nodded to his mother before leaving them there, speechless. I love him. All of a sudden it was easy to see, simple to say and maybe too late.
Chad was making out with his girlfriend in a corner of the hallway. “Chad I need you.” he said, pulling him by his wrist. Chad took one look at his friend’s broken expression and kissed his girl lightly on the cheek “Later.”
“I need you to find the cab Jared left in, I have to find out where it went.” Chad’s detective brain got with the program through a slight buzz of alcohol.
“You go get a cab for us and I’ll make the calls.” His friend flipped his phone open and began dialling. The night air was cold. Jensen checked Chad’s coat from the cloakroom and ran to the suite to grab his own. All of Jared’s baggage was still there, his coat hanging neatly in the mirrored wardrobe. Their phones were in the nightstand drawer. It had been Jared’s suggestion to leave them there, so their full attention was on Mackenzie. Jay was always the thoughtful one. He could see the missed calls registered on Jared’s and reached to check his own. There were no missed calls and no messages. He could see the mini bar reflected in the mirrored surface. He worried at his lower lip and crossed the room to it. He opened the door to inspect it’s contents but all he found was water and soda. He remembered the secretive call his boyfriend had made to room service and the maid fussing with the contents of a trolley. Typical Jared. He flicked the door shut, returned to the wardrobe, reached to the hanger and took Jared’s coat out, he put it to his face, inhaling the candy-musk scent.
They tracked down the taxi driver using a mixture of police procedure and fiscal bribery. He gave details of the journey up to the point where Jared passed out. He described Jared waking and refusing medical attention, paying the fare with a $50 note and not wanting change. He told them the general direction in which Jared had walked and confirmed he was in just a light shirt and pants. He shrugged as if to say “well what can you do” and Chad dragged Jensen away before he did anything unwise to him.
They kept searching into the early hours. As a favor to Jensen and Chad, a patrol car was released to assist but there was no sign of the tall man. Eventually, fearing for his friend’s health, Chad forced Jensen into one of the patrol cars and took him back to the PD. He made him hot coffee and sat him in the mess room. “He’s an adult Jen. You’re going to have to let him work this out on his own. If he’s not on the plane back then at least you know where to find him. He’s not going to abandon Caitlin or his babies.”
“What is he thinking about me right now Chad? He must hate me. What if he blacked out again? What if he’s sick somewhere? I never told him I love him.”
“Do you love him Jensen?” the voice was cut-glass sharp.
“Aunt Beth?”
“Your Mama told me what happened with Jared. Everyone missed you.”
“Aunt Beth, I don’t want to get into an argument with you now. I'm not coming back until I find Jared. I don’t care what happened between you. I’m sorry if that’s harsh but I just want to find him. Yes I do love him.” his voice cracked.
“I think I know where he will be. We should go together.” Her eyes were glittering with unshed tears.
“Aunt Beth, if it upsets you, I can’t expect that, just tell me where to go.”
“I’m an old lady Jensen, I have my pride. Maybe too much of it. He’s never wanted to upset me, he’s never willingly hurt me. I’ve been able to understand that for some time now. I want to find him too. C’mon Sugar.” She used her childhood endearment for him and took his hand.
***
Beth gave directions to her driver, then slid the glass partition closed. “I owe you an explanation darling.” She took a deep breath then held his hand.
Uncle Derek and I had a good marriage. We really did. We were best friends. He did his duty by me, did well in business, gave us children. He was a wonderful, attentive father, everything really. If there was one flaw, I could overlook it. He was always very discreet and careful, never flaunted it.
Jensen couldn’t see where this was going, he waited for her to resume.
“Uncle Derek was gay or maybe bi, whatever you call it, he preferred men sexually. It wasn’t something you could be in our day. So we had our marriage and he had his paid liaisons. It worked well for a long time. Then came what I liked to call his late-life crisis. He met JT. Suddenly it wasn’t liaisons. It was a house together and a University Bursary, it was financing this kid’s brother in a psychiatric home. It was staying nights with this barely legal boy, a hooker he‘d picked off the street, and not coming home for days. He said it was love and that really stung me. How could it be? It killed me inside Jensen and as for the shame. Can you imagine if anyone found out Derek was shacked up with another man, someone younger than our own children?”
“He was a kid, you just said it yourself. How can you blame him? He was looking for a father figure and it sounds like Uncle Derek took advantage. How is that Jared’s fault?”
She sighed. “It wasn’t and I could see it, really I could. We went about our lives as if it wasn’t happening and JT was discreet and quiet. He picked up all the manners, flair and grace that were expected of Derek’s partner, he even learned to cook for him. It burned me inside. I loved the man I married with a passion and it was something he could never feel for me. JT had all of that. He was getting attention in the business too, his design was fawned over by everyone and Derek pushed it hard, making sure every detail was as JT designed it. I felt ….abandoned and jealous.”
The car was slowing now, taking a turn from the main road down a bumpy lane.
“The straw that broke the camel’s back was Derek’s stroke.”
“He died in bed, I don’t see how that was an issue.”
“Oh,Sugar.” she shook her head sadly. “He died in bed but it wasn’t mine, it wasn’t even at our home. I got a phonecall from JT, all distraught and panicking. I had to go and collect my dead husband from his lover’s bed and that hurt so much. I had to bribe the doctor to lie about his place of death. I never got to say goodbye. I never had a final hug. JT was there with him at the end. It made me angry and your dad was so mad about the whole thing. I’m sorry. I admit I did want JT to suffer at the time, but it passes. Like you say he was young. Derek made the choices. Tonight caught me off guard. I had no idea why he was here and he has every reason to hate me and I was scared. We should have asked him to explain but he just went, without a word. I never meant to hurt you.”
“You paid him off to never tell?”
“The inheritance was there in the will. We just asked him to agree to extra clauses to protect the family name.”
“He had to stay away, but what about the funeral, I didn’t notice him?”
“He didn’t go. It was one of the clauses.” They were rolling to a stop now by the dimly lit ‘CEMETERY’ plaque. “Sometimes when I come there are flowers, beautifully arranged by a florist but wild flowers and blossom nevertheless, whatever is blooming locally. Derek loved the wildlife here he would point blooms out and name them all. He never had the same passion for domestic flowers. I asked the florist about the arrangements once. She said she didn‘t have a name just a regular money order and a list of dates when they were to be placed. The dates mean nothing to me. That‘s why I think he‘s here.”
Her driver passed lanterns to both of them, took one himself and grabbed a blanket from the trunk.
Jensen protested “Beth, you shouldn’t come, it’s dark, you could fall and hurt yourself.”
“I know the way to my husband in the dark Sugar. I’m not past it yet. C’mon.”
Stars shone in a clear, cold sky. Jared sat by the headstone, pale in the weak illumination of the half moon. His knees were drawn into his chest, head resting on them, making him appear so much smaller than his 6‘4 frame. Jensen surged toward him but Beth put out her hand to stop him and her driver held him back. Beth took the blanket and walked to him. She stooped to her knees in front of him and said something too low for Jensen to hear. Then she threw the blanket around the big man and sat beside him. She continued speaking quietly until Jared raised his head and looked at her. She put her hands out to him and he took her into a hug. Jensen could see their chests heaving as they sobbed together by the grave of the man they had loved. Jensen moved to sit beside them and Jared took him by the hand and pulled him down by his side. The driver tactfully returned to the car and they sat together until the tears dried up.
“I could kill for a hot breakfast” Beth said, breaking the silence.
“Pancakes with syrup.” said Jared.
“Strong coffee.” added Jensen.
They made their way back to the car with Beth making promises to wake the cook.
Continued in part 36 here: anniespinkhouse.livejournal.com/10673.html
The fiction includes a mental illness storyline. I am not qualified in mental health, everything I know about it is googled. It's fantasy folks, please don't shoot me though helpful criticism is always welcomed.
*Not real. The folks aren't mine. No damage intended.
Lia (Cheebles) is still with there with help & support for which I am very grateful (hugs)
Jared worked his way through the scattered groups of chattering guests. He looked ahead, avoiding eye contact and forced himself to breathe regularly, exhaling slowly. He made himself recall that Richardson has a population of 100,000. In any case he’d changed, grown broader, his hair was longer and he was no longer the nervous, skinny youngster of his University years.
He found the bar, a mirrored, circular counter, accessible from all directions. He caught the eye of the bartender who indicated that he’d been seen and would be attended to shortly. He drummed his fingers on the counter and watched him pour shots for the elderly lady and gentleman on the far side of the bar. Their gaze also turned to observing the bartender and then lit on Jared. He felt their stares before he saw them. He looked over at them curiously and froze.
Beth was older, slimmer, dressed impeccably in her favorite, Chanel. Her hair was whiter than he remembered, her laughter lines deeper. The gentleman was leaning towards her, putting a comforting arm on her elbow. He was familiar. Jared remembered him, the same comforting arm, the concern for her evident in every move he made. He’d been there the day he left. The hate had been tangible, rolling off them in the stifling solicitor’s office. He had sat grieving and alone, guilt eating at him, unable to comprehend his position, wanting everything to stop and go into reverse. He had signed their documents with unseeing eyes and left Texas without a backward glance.
He noted that Security were well dressed. They approached him warily, hands at the sides of their tuxedo pants. He almost laughed out loud. When had he ever made any trouble with Beth Farra? He always went out of his way to avoid her. Her friend was making his way over, exuding the same hate he’d seen five years earlier, coupled with raw anger. Jared backed up a little as he found himself surrounded, but the counter was behind him, cutting off his retreat.
“This is a private function.”
He could feel his heart beating like a frightened rabbit’s, his palms were sweating but he wasn’t the same lost youngster. He was going to retain his dignity. “I was invited.” he said, his voice sounding more confident than he felt.
The elderly man was in his face now, grabbing his collar, red with fury.
“I think the father of the bride would know who is invited to his daughter’s engagement party and it wouldn’t include a gold digging whore. I have no idea what your game is JT, but you get out of this place, you get out of this town. You have no right to do this to Beth. There‘s no more money to be made from her.”
“I never wanted any…” His voiced faded, his collar was being held too tightly and Jared was choking.
Security prised the hands from his neck. “You should go with us Sir.” He acquiesced, nodding dumbly at them and followed their lead. The bottom had fallen out of Jared’s world as soon the man had spat his words at him. “Father of the bride.” Jensen’s father. Jensen’s family. Publishing. He’d known his connections to the business from the beginning, paid no mind to it. He felt tears prick at his eyes and his legs trembled beneath him but he held his head up and didn’t let it show. It was Mackenzie’s night and he wouldn’t create a fuss. The cab was already waiting and they pushed him toward it. He didn’t ask to collect his things, he had his wallet, there was nothing he needed he couldn’t pay for. It was chilly without a jacket but he didn’t notice that.
He got in the backseat of the cab. He wondered what Jensen would think when he found he was gone. He reached into his pocket but his phone wasn’t there. Another thought scared him. Perhaps Jensen had known all along? What if this was revenge, a public humiliation? He started to shake, his breath came too rapidly and after several miles the cab driver had to pull over as the tall man hyperventilated and then blacked out.
***
Jensen gripped onto Chad‘s arm, his fingers leaving red marks. They had searched the main areas, the restrooms, even the patio and cloakrooms, with no sign of Jared.
“Jen, listen, Laing’s not going to try anything here. There has to be a reasonable explanation. Just try to think what it could be. Look your mama’s here. She’ll know something, you’ll see.”
Donna broke into a wide smile “Jensen darling. You’re here!” She pulled him into her slight frame in an embarrassing show of maternal affection. Have you got a drink yet? Mac says you’ve brought a delicious young man with you.” she looked about “Where is he?”
“That’s kinda the problem Mama, he went to get some juice for me and now we can‘t find him.” Jensen tried to make light of it for his mother, but he saw her eyes narrow as she looked at him. His mother knew his every facial expression and right now he knew she was seeing fear.
“Sweetie, he can’t have gone far. Why the worry?” She looked at Chad, assessing his expression, every bit as clever at interpreting him. She gave her best reassuring smile “Describe him for me.”
Chad started “Sort of yay high.” He stretched his arm up high, “Kind of hard to miss on that score, dark brown hair, puppy eyes, ridiculously well fitted black pinstripe suit. If I were female I would probably say hot.”
She pursed her lips and scanned the room herself. “I think I would have noticed.” she said. “What’s his name?”
“Jared. Jared Padalecki. Hard to pronounce at first but you get the hang of it.”
He didn’t need to be skilled in body language to notice his mother flinch as if unexpectedly scorched. “JT?” her voice grated, her throat sounded constricted.
“JT Padalecki. The architect.” His mind caught up then. His mother had called Jared, JT. It was a nickname he had only ever heard from Mark. They had discussed this, Jared never used it for business or at home. It was the name he used on the streets when he was young and the name he shared in later years, when picking men up for casual sex. Jensen stared at his mother, trying to judge what it was she knew of him.
His mother’s eyes looked behind him and he turned to see what the distraction was. His father was striding towards them, looking pink and flustered. He noticed his son and greeted him heartily, ignoring Donna’s pointed glances. “Jensen, you’re looking good there. I’m hearing good news from Chad. I hear you’re bearing up well, all things considered. Mac is looking positively radiant so you will have to spend some time with her. It really is great to see you.” He slapped Jensen on the back affectionately, then stepped back to speak to Donna. “Apologies. Nasty business, got Beth a bit upset but it’s dealt with now.”
“What nasty business?” asked Jensen.
“Someone without an invite. Would you believe that? The nerve of some people.”
Donna was paper-white now and Jensen looked between them, sensing some calamitous truth. “We should go somewhere private.” Donna choked out. “Chad be a dear and tell Mac we’re stepping out. She and Andy will have to mingle.
“Why do we need to do that dear?” Alan Ackles was blind to the tension.
They shut the heavy wooden door and Donna checked behind the furniture and curtains.
“You’re being a bit 007 Mama. What’s going on?”
“Alan dear, why was Beth upset?”
“I said, we had an uninvited guest.”
“Was he about yay high, with dark hair and a black pinstripe suit?” She gestured with her hand high.
“Yes honey. Why does that matter? He shouldn’t be here. There’s a contract dammit, the bastard should leave her alone.” Donna snapped her mouth and looked sadly between her husband and her son.
“Pa?” Jensen was trembling “Who was it?” he already knew the answer but he didn’t want to believe, he needed to hear it spoken even if he didn’t want it to be so.
“This doesn’t concern you Jensen. Why don’t you go and help Mac?”
"Alan, I think.." Donna reached to touch her husband's arm but Jensen interrupted “If you touched Jared, if you made him leave Pa, then it’s every bit my business.”
“Jensen you shouldn't meddle with business you don't understand. All you need to know is that Beth has a contract with the man. He’s not allowed near her. I reminded him of that and he left. It’s sorted.”
“He‘s not in the suite Pa.”
“We found him a cab. Hopefully he’s well away by now.”
Jensen’s eyes were filled with tears. Donna glared at her husband and guided her son onto a chair. “I think what Jensen is asking dear, is why you asked his boyfriend to leave and where did he go? He‘s worried about him.”
“Boyfriend. What boyfriend?” Alan was still struggling to see what the fuss was about.
“Jared Padalecki is my boyfriend. I invited him. He was nervous about meeting you. I told him my family were kind.” A single tear left his eyes and trickled down his cheek.
Alan blinked and then blustered “But, JT, that can’t be right.”
“Mac’s already met him Pa. Why isn‘t he allowed near Aunt Beth, I don‘t understand that, he‘s not violent, did he hurt her? What did he do?”
“That’s nobody’s business but her's Son.”
“Mama?” he was pleading.
Donna sighed, caught between the two men.“He never hurt Beth. It’s just complicated and Beth’s business.” his mother wouldn‘t look him in the eyes.
“Then it’s simple, we can tell him to come back. It’s Mac’s party not Aunt Beth’s.”
Alan spoke again “You don’t want to be with a man like that Jensen. I can’t believe he had you fooled. Believe me, he’s a whore and a gold-digger and he’s not welcome in our house. Best you let him go. I mean a man like that, you’re not thinking long term, it’s no loss. He’ll move on to his next mark and you’ll find someone more suitable.”
Jensen suddenly didn’t recognize the man in front of him, he stared at his father in amazement and anger. “He’s a respectable businessman, a fucking incredible architect and I don’t care about his past, because yes, I know about most of it and what he hasn‘t told me, he‘ll have good reasons for. I love him Pa. If he’s not welcome in this family then forget you have a son. Enjoy your party and your society friends. Tell Mac all the best, I love her but I have to find Jared.”
He pushed past his father and nodded to his mother before leaving them there, speechless. I love him. All of a sudden it was easy to see, simple to say and maybe too late.
Chad was making out with his girlfriend in a corner of the hallway. “Chad I need you.” he said, pulling him by his wrist. Chad took one look at his friend’s broken expression and kissed his girl lightly on the cheek “Later.”
“I need you to find the cab Jared left in, I have to find out where it went.” Chad’s detective brain got with the program through a slight buzz of alcohol.
“You go get a cab for us and I’ll make the calls.” His friend flipped his phone open and began dialling. The night air was cold. Jensen checked Chad’s coat from the cloakroom and ran to the suite to grab his own. All of Jared’s baggage was still there, his coat hanging neatly in the mirrored wardrobe. Their phones were in the nightstand drawer. It had been Jared’s suggestion to leave them there, so their full attention was on Mackenzie. Jay was always the thoughtful one. He could see the missed calls registered on Jared’s and reached to check his own. There were no missed calls and no messages. He could see the mini bar reflected in the mirrored surface. He worried at his lower lip and crossed the room to it. He opened the door to inspect it’s contents but all he found was water and soda. He remembered the secretive call his boyfriend had made to room service and the maid fussing with the contents of a trolley. Typical Jared. He flicked the door shut, returned to the wardrobe, reached to the hanger and took Jared’s coat out, he put it to his face, inhaling the candy-musk scent.
They tracked down the taxi driver using a mixture of police procedure and fiscal bribery. He gave details of the journey up to the point where Jared passed out. He described Jared waking and refusing medical attention, paying the fare with a $50 note and not wanting change. He told them the general direction in which Jared had walked and confirmed he was in just a light shirt and pants. He shrugged as if to say “well what can you do” and Chad dragged Jensen away before he did anything unwise to him.
They kept searching into the early hours. As a favor to Jensen and Chad, a patrol car was released to assist but there was no sign of the tall man. Eventually, fearing for his friend’s health, Chad forced Jensen into one of the patrol cars and took him back to the PD. He made him hot coffee and sat him in the mess room. “He’s an adult Jen. You’re going to have to let him work this out on his own. If he’s not on the plane back then at least you know where to find him. He’s not going to abandon Caitlin or his babies.”
“What is he thinking about me right now Chad? He must hate me. What if he blacked out again? What if he’s sick somewhere? I never told him I love him.”
“Do you love him Jensen?” the voice was cut-glass sharp.
“Aunt Beth?”
“Your Mama told me what happened with Jared. Everyone missed you.”
“Aunt Beth, I don’t want to get into an argument with you now. I'm not coming back until I find Jared. I don’t care what happened between you. I’m sorry if that’s harsh but I just want to find him. Yes I do love him.” his voice cracked.
“I think I know where he will be. We should go together.” Her eyes were glittering with unshed tears.
“Aunt Beth, if it upsets you, I can’t expect that, just tell me where to go.”
“I’m an old lady Jensen, I have my pride. Maybe too much of it. He’s never wanted to upset me, he’s never willingly hurt me. I’ve been able to understand that for some time now. I want to find him too. C’mon Sugar.” She used her childhood endearment for him and took his hand.
***
Beth gave directions to her driver, then slid the glass partition closed. “I owe you an explanation darling.” She took a deep breath then held his hand.
Uncle Derek and I had a good marriage. We really did. We were best friends. He did his duty by me, did well in business, gave us children. He was a wonderful, attentive father, everything really. If there was one flaw, I could overlook it. He was always very discreet and careful, never flaunted it.
Jensen couldn’t see where this was going, he waited for her to resume.
“Uncle Derek was gay or maybe bi, whatever you call it, he preferred men sexually. It wasn’t something you could be in our day. So we had our marriage and he had his paid liaisons. It worked well for a long time. Then came what I liked to call his late-life crisis. He met JT. Suddenly it wasn’t liaisons. It was a house together and a University Bursary, it was financing this kid’s brother in a psychiatric home. It was staying nights with this barely legal boy, a hooker he‘d picked off the street, and not coming home for days. He said it was love and that really stung me. How could it be? It killed me inside Jensen and as for the shame. Can you imagine if anyone found out Derek was shacked up with another man, someone younger than our own children?”
“He was a kid, you just said it yourself. How can you blame him? He was looking for a father figure and it sounds like Uncle Derek took advantage. How is that Jared’s fault?”
She sighed. “It wasn’t and I could see it, really I could. We went about our lives as if it wasn’t happening and JT was discreet and quiet. He picked up all the manners, flair and grace that were expected of Derek’s partner, he even learned to cook for him. It burned me inside. I loved the man I married with a passion and it was something he could never feel for me. JT had all of that. He was getting attention in the business too, his design was fawned over by everyone and Derek pushed it hard, making sure every detail was as JT designed it. I felt ….abandoned and jealous.”
The car was slowing now, taking a turn from the main road down a bumpy lane.
“The straw that broke the camel’s back was Derek’s stroke.”
“He died in bed, I don’t see how that was an issue.”
“Oh,Sugar.” she shook her head sadly. “He died in bed but it wasn’t mine, it wasn’t even at our home. I got a phonecall from JT, all distraught and panicking. I had to go and collect my dead husband from his lover’s bed and that hurt so much. I had to bribe the doctor to lie about his place of death. I never got to say goodbye. I never had a final hug. JT was there with him at the end. It made me angry and your dad was so mad about the whole thing. I’m sorry. I admit I did want JT to suffer at the time, but it passes. Like you say he was young. Derek made the choices. Tonight caught me off guard. I had no idea why he was here and he has every reason to hate me and I was scared. We should have asked him to explain but he just went, without a word. I never meant to hurt you.”
“You paid him off to never tell?”
“The inheritance was there in the will. We just asked him to agree to extra clauses to protect the family name.”
“He had to stay away, but what about the funeral, I didn’t notice him?”
“He didn’t go. It was one of the clauses.” They were rolling to a stop now by the dimly lit ‘CEMETERY’ plaque. “Sometimes when I come there are flowers, beautifully arranged by a florist but wild flowers and blossom nevertheless, whatever is blooming locally. Derek loved the wildlife here he would point blooms out and name them all. He never had the same passion for domestic flowers. I asked the florist about the arrangements once. She said she didn‘t have a name just a regular money order and a list of dates when they were to be placed. The dates mean nothing to me. That‘s why I think he‘s here.”
Her driver passed lanterns to both of them, took one himself and grabbed a blanket from the trunk.
Jensen protested “Beth, you shouldn’t come, it’s dark, you could fall and hurt yourself.”
“I know the way to my husband in the dark Sugar. I’m not past it yet. C’mon.”
Stars shone in a clear, cold sky. Jared sat by the headstone, pale in the weak illumination of the half moon. His knees were drawn into his chest, head resting on them, making him appear so much smaller than his 6‘4 frame. Jensen surged toward him but Beth put out her hand to stop him and her driver held him back. Beth took the blanket and walked to him. She stooped to her knees in front of him and said something too low for Jensen to hear. Then she threw the blanket around the big man and sat beside him. She continued speaking quietly until Jared raised his head and looked at her. She put her hands out to him and he took her into a hug. Jensen could see their chests heaving as they sobbed together by the grave of the man they had loved. Jensen moved to sit beside them and Jared took him by the hand and pulled him down by his side. The driver tactfully returned to the car and they sat together until the tears dried up.
“I could kill for a hot breakfast” Beth said, breaking the silence.
“Pancakes with syrup.” said Jared.
“Strong coffee.” added Jensen.
They made their way back to the car with Beth making promises to wake the cook.
Continued in part 36 here: anniespinkhouse.livejournal.com/10673.html