whine (plz 2 ignore)

[anorexicbrownie]

I have a nice, sweet and very passionate lesbian in my class. She is into student activism. This is fine and I admire her passion. What drives me crazy is that she cannot have a single conversation without the topic. We can be talking about sex slaves and trafficking and she will find a way to bring in and express concern for the much afflicted gay

Comments

[muffledlaugh]

I TOTALLY agree with you there. I can usually get along with most people regardless of their social/political views, as long as they don't continuously go on and on about said issues every time they open their mouths.

Passion and strong opinions are fab, and I like people that have both. But seriously, EVERY conversation doesn't have to be about the same thing.

[anorexicbrownie]

She's a sweet, wonderful person and I feel bad complaining at all. I've just gotten to the point where its like 'waaa, please no more lgtbq issues. I love to hear about your life, but we've talked about it 200 times this month.'

Yeah. I'm trying to figure out whether to pretend not to notice or maybe just gently trying a subject change? Something.

[alasthai]

My first guess would be that this is a pre-emptive defence on her part: having quite possibly been discriminated against for her orientation, she has gotten into the habit of trumpeting it as loudly as possible to force any hostility into the open, were she can confront it.

If this is the case, it might be very difficult for her to break out of the habit. On the other hand, it might be useful to point out, if you are close enough to her to be able to do this, because it is going to cause trouble for her by alienating people who would otherwise accept her.

[anorexicbrownie]

Possibly. I know from today that her parents were gay or lesbian and she likely had some experiences around that growing up. I suspect part of it is having a place where she feels like she 'fits' and can be active in activism.

We shall see. I don't want to risk hurting or embarass her. If there's some opening, maybe, otherwise it might be better to just ask her about her life or something.

[alicel]

look at it this way - both pit bulls and lgbt issues are things that a wide variety of people are absolutely ignorant about, and you and this girl have a lot in common in that you strive to educate others about what matters to you. you both go overkill, but nobody can say they walked away from you less informed than before. sure, it gets annoying for some and preaching has its drawbacks, but like i said, there is something positive stemming from both of you doing what you're doing.

[anorexicbrownie]

So basically I'm awesome? >.> *keff* I hear you though. That she means well and believes in it is why I haven't said to her that she's going overboard. I know what its like to feel crushed and/or stupid.

[musicchan]

I would argue though that if she's preaching to the same people over and over agian, it's not the best way to go about it. Once you've talked to someone about an issue a couple of times, they are unlikely to get anything new from it. So continuing on in that vein is likely to alientate yourself and others.

[alicel]

the thing is, though, what does it accomplish by knocking someone down a peg by saying you don't want to hear it? i'm one of the people lynn has talked about pit bulls to on multiple occasions. am i particularly interested/capable of taking on a pit bull? no. but i know that it's something she needs to talk about with someone she's comfortable with because it's what she cares about. for instance, she knows about disorders and she is one of the largest reasons i got medicated for mine - does she get anything new from hearing how i'm doing or if it's helping? no. talking to our friends during our day to day lives, we RARELY get any new information, but it's the interacting with them part that counts. that's where i find fault with the 'this isn't new' argument. i would also say that anyone who doesn't try to process why you do need to sometimes talk about something to someone you're comfortable with wasn't a very good friend to begin with - we're supposed to accept our friends as they are, flaws included etc. so, why would this girl,

[anorexicbrownie]

1) Its fine to have your passions and make valid points (and there are a lot of valid points around lgtbq issues), its just good to have balance. I like to know things about friends besides their sexuality. Did you watch Avatar? Do you like or hate the news? Care about politics? Have a new favorite food? Ideally, I get to learn some of these things about or pieces of what's going on in your life and hopefully your life is balanced enough that it not just activism, as important as that is.

2) ..This matters for venting in my own journal how, exactly? My point is not to make her feel bad or 'correct' her activism, just to vent. I may find obsession annoying, but as noted, its probably God giving me a subtle hint how other people have felt with me. ;) Even if not, she'll hopefully realize that as she grows, learns and explores like I am in the process of. *shrug*

[anorexicbrownie]

And no, I don't dislike the topic. I'd just like slightly less of it, such as maybe not dragging it into conversations about sex trafficking unless you can show me actual incidents where this a problem for the lgbtq community.