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Mostly public
This journal is mostly public with some friends-only entries that will primarily be visible to my close real-life friends ( Read more... ) -
2021 in review
I didn't do this last year despite thinking, at various points throughout the year, that I would do it. I was about to make the same mistake, but I decided to overcome my laziness and do this whilst Blake sleeps next to me.
1. What did you do in 2021 that you’d never done before?- Gave birth ( Read more... ) -
A Fortress for Two
There are some days--such as yesterday, and a brief moment this morning--when I find myself in a state of disbelief. For the past four months and 17 days, my days have seemed to drift away and come at me with an unbearable ferocity all at once: the repetitiveness of taking care of a baby lulls me into a sense of surrealism, whilst the demanding ( Read more... ) -
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I forgot to write this in the previous entry.
One of the most beautiful moments of my life is in the morning, when I'm awaken from medium-sleep by the sound of my baby's cries, and, after I turn to him and his eyes meet mine, his face breaks into the sweetest, most open smile.
I wouldn't trade this for the world. -
My Traumatic Labour
During the pregnancy, I had often thought about what labour would be like. I’d wanted an unmedicated vaginal birth, and I braced myself-or tried to, for I realised that one could never adequately prepare for these things without first having experienced it-for the pain that everyone has warned me about. Just take the epidural, my OB/GYN cousin in ( Read more... ) -
Hating the world tonight.
I just spoiled my evening by reading an article in the Guardian about some 800 cattle being ‘destroyed’ after they’ve been trapped on some shitty commercial ship for two months. And now I’m reeling, once again, from how utterly fucked up, barbaric and horrendous we are as a species ( Read more... ) -
34.
It feels appropriate to write an entry on my (34th) birthday even though I haven’t written in here for over a month. The good news is, the paucity of entries here is directly related to the near-daily writing that I have been doing. That is: I am (finally) writing a novel, a proper one this time, not the fanfiction crap I did two years ago. Having ( Read more... ) -
Angst
I had some white wine with E and his housemate last night while watching a film called Clemency. I don’t know if it was the wine, or the fact that I hadn’t been drinking very much at all; but two glasses of it caused my entire body to flush a bright red and some parts of it to itch. My desperately drinking copious amounts of water to stave off the ( Read more... ) -
Cold Weather is Running Weather
Now that we’re stuck indoors with nowhere to go, the sunny weather that we’d been having for the past week or so had begun to feel like a personal affront. As in: what right did the weather have to finally be pleasant when we can’t go out to enjoy it, such as on a tennis court? So I was really happy when the weather reverted to its default self: ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I have spent the last two weeks, including weekends and evenings, working practically non-stop on my freelancing work. Today was the first day I finally had a bit of a breather, though I have deadlines coming up again soon. The plan was to make substantial progress on my other freelance job which I find dreadfully boring and thus cannot motivate ( Read more... )