cause only that could make me this fucking insain right now

Im just gonna keep writting even though I just posted like fuckin 5 minutesd ago not even I FUCKKKKKKKKKK N A GOD DAMN IT! I cant believe the thoughts Im thinking because of the things I did and I know Im just gonna turn out to be a fuck MY SELF LOATHING GOT ME WERE I AM NOW WHY SHOULD I STOP IT"S NEVER GOOD ENOUGH ANYWAY RIGHT besides what person ( Read more... )

wellll how can I put this ... NO SLEEP AT ALL because I was talking to dani before I was planning on goin to bed got myself all worked up and even more confused than I was when I started being the flaming asshole that I fucking am got pissed off did something like 400 hundred push ups in sets of 70 and 80 and just as many sit ups but I was still ( Read more... )

ok writing binge this morning it was awsome Ive purged pure gold on my guitar and I cant think of a better way to start the day haha but yeah speaking of binge and purge I have been doing both a lot on this journal so Im gonna take a break from this thing most of it shouldnt be public knowledge to begin with soooo my private life will now remain ( Read more... )

well yeah I guess I had a wierd incounter that kept me from possibly creating a bad situation that seemed pretty goo at the time this mornin ... people are calling me constantly and I got another show compliments of our new member on the keys TRAVIS SPENCER with wich we will be payed for as well ... kinda dissappointed didnt get to go to the house ( Read more... )

I woke up feelin a lot better my dreams were still pretty fucked up but meaningfull I guess ... I tore the skin from my gums it was really painfull and looked weird but yeah I feel gooooooooooo

waking up to nightmares and lonely empty insides then playing a shitty show for 8 people with a swollen ear ... go to bed alone wake up alone eat alone spend my time alone then make music and do it all over again the whole time wondering am I making the right decission am I a fuck up what if I fail what if I never had a fucking chance what if Ive ( Read more... )

for the first time in months Im crying like a little bitch and its ALL THE BURDEN of GUILT triggered by guages of slight jealousy and emense longing for physical contact today is shitty and it hasnt even begun ...
delayed reaction I guess
I suppose its healthier than not feeling anything right??

God I hope it wasnt the french toast I ate yesturday but damn all nite I had this fuckin sad discusting nightmare that started out like this (before it woke me up at 6 in the morning ( Read more... )

so so you think you can tell heaven from hell blue skys from grey blah bla bla do you think you can tell that new car smell from old vintage red do you wish you were dead bla bla bla ( Read more... )