A mix CD, a mess, a collage, a valentine of sorts: things I make when I can’t make sense of the most obvious circumstances. I make myself cry, sometimes, when reflecting on how little I’ve made of myself. It’s a control thing, she explains earnestly, pulling her lower lip between her teeth as I catch myself staring for the fourth time in fifteen ( Read more... )

So this is February, sleeping with socks on and shivering still, late nights of lonely and bad dreams each time I blink. My mother calls: “Just had a weird feeling about you. A bad dream. I thought something might be wrong but I couldn’t tell what.” And I sigh into the receiver, unable to tell her that maybe I’ve been having the same dream, ( Read more... )

And I'm back with another meme, one more distraction from reality. Really, though, this one was so damn tempting. There are a couple that I'm not entirely sure any of you have read, but what can I say?-I'm hopeful.

( Try, at least? And I apologize in advance for number eighteen. )

Tell me a secret.
Something you've never told anyone before, your grandest hopes, your most terrifying fears, that thing that you've been dying to tell someone about but just can't because the situation demands secrecy. An admission, a denial, something that's been on your mind lately ( Read more... )

Okay, because I'm procrastinating and up for jumping on bandwagons, here's my very own movie marathon. I'm guessing that none of you guys will get some of these, but I'm up for being surprised.

( All I want is for someone to get number seventeen. . . )

I’m completely prepared to sleep through this entire year, honestly. Through the next nine days, at least. I give up, is what I really want to say. I give up, because I’m a fool for ever thinking I could stretch myself and make it all enough, somehow ( Read more... )

Just wanted to wish everyone who celebrates it a happy Christmas. (And if you don't, I hope you managed to have a fabulous day anyhow, even though the entire world shuts down for Christian holidays.)

I spent my holiday hiding from my family, making mix CDs, and stalking this model I found on Getty Images. Look:

( Read more... )

( my year in review: )

So, in the spirit of Thanksgiving (or that one meal before the motherfucking Pilgrims fucked the American Indians over), and because I had a long and lonely night and could use some reminders for my own sake, as well, I present

A partial list of things I’m thankful for, today:

Warm sweaters on cold mornings. Unexpected voicemails from good friends ( Read more... )

Last night, I was procrastinating on a rough draft for Sophie, giggling with Courtney, watching Hedwig & the Angry Inch with Jana and Jordanna and Ro_bert and singing along, moaning with Ali over the “Justify My Love” video for the ninth time that day, saying goodnight to Jordanna as bad Christmas music kept playing in the background ( Read more... )