I feel stuck in time. Not a particular moment.... just all moments at once where i convince myself its worth while to be alive. I have moments where i am happy, but they are aleays fleeting and never complete. My brain is good at distracting itself. Telling its self everything is ok. And yeah i don't notice that gnawing emptieness the permeates ( Read more... )

Its nights lime these i actually feel the depression crushing the life out of me. I cant even numb my brain with the television. I shut it off. Put my phone down and just sit here in the dark. For thenpast two years the wieght of my emotions have held me stuck. Not like i want to move on anyway. Ill just be here in the dark.

Life is shit and sometimes i just eant to say thing on my mind. Mostly fucked up stuff nowadays. Like if I were to die in my sleep, no one would ever find me.

Ive been wanting to journal a little bit. Put down the depressing thoughts. I have a hand written one, but I stopped that. I thought if live journal. I remember i liked the little area where ( Read more... )

Its been almost three months since my last post.

One of m favorite holidays. There was a bit of back and forth on what was going to go on that fateful night. Finally the original plans turned out to be the actual plans and I got to throw a Halloween party. Had a lot of good friends over, at least all the locals. It seemed fun was had by all. Unfortunately I did not take that many pictures, my ( Read more... )

I've lost the knack. For posting. I use to do at least one a month. Always want to do more. Sometimes there is nothing to mention, which is understandable. Mostly its laziness, which is also understandable. So I'm going to see if I can just at least touch on a subject or so every few days until I feel satisfied. Besides writing is good ( Read more... )

I came across some of my old writing. 2000-2001 era. Dark days for me, but not always so of course. Those were the days I leaned heavily on my friendships and in turn saw how valuable those friendships where to me ( Read more... )

Quick update ( Read more... )

So I take my car into the shop to get it fixed monday. I get a call today (tuesday) from the insurance company that they are just going to write my car off as a total loss. So they are going to give me about 8000$ for my car. Though I will only get about half that because they have to finish paying off what I currently owe first ( Read more... )

All right, things started looking good there for a moment. But last week, while I was moving and my Lady was getting ready to move to our new place, she ended up with a trip the the emergency room. She had an infected gallbladder and had to get that removed. That was a few stressful days there. She is fine though, recovering at home, her hold home ( Read more... )