"revelation"-A Star Trek fanfiction
“Revelation”
Fandom: Star Trek
Pairing: Kirk/Spock/Uhura (with a brief mention of another polyamorous relationship,TOS!Kirk/TOS!Spock, and implied pre-McCoy/Chapel.)
Summary: 5 people a member of the triad came out to who didn't understand, and one who did. Unconditionally.
1. Winona Kirk
“So,” Winona broke the silence, jerking her head at the ceiling. “Who's fucking who?”
Jim's steaming coffee mug clanked unto the counter. With a scowl, he turned to stare broodily out the window; unto the rolling fields of dry amber, crisp as wit beneath a peerless sky. His mother interrupted him before he could even sulk properly.
“Oh, don't give me that “I'm going to stare moodily into the distance because I'm a big tortured Star fleet captain,” Winona rolled her bright blue eyes. Their eyes. In her 50's, Winona was a short, stout, molly little woman graying at her hair part with a waist slender as a girl's over broad, hard-handled hips. These hips fit not in tiny places, her smooth cat-smile smirked. She eyed Jim as she always did, with that flat-eyed ironic knowing. Like she had him figured. Like she had seen it all.
“You're all sharing one room with a single bed and a futon. I'm just wondering who's sleeping where. That's all.”
“I'm not sixteen anymore, Mom. Even if this is your house...”
“Does Nyota mind sharing a room with you boys? I assume you and Spock take the bed and man it out, and she takes the futon. Unless you boys are gentlemen and let her take the bed.”
“Nah, Nyota would kill us if we tried that patriarchal “gentleman” bullshit. Not that I'd try. I learned from the best. Remember?” Jim flashed his trickster grin at his mother; genuine, despite himself. With a strangely Spockish eyebrow lift, Winona sipped her coffee. Silent.
Jim knew this trick. It brought him back to age 8. She was stretching the silence to an unbearable length. Stretch it til he spoke. Well, she wasn't going to win this time...
Since when had coming home tensed him like a space battle?
“We've endured worse in the trenches.” Jim joked. “Sometime I should tell you about the time Spock, Bones, and I got holed up together in a Cardassian dungeon.” Winona's eyes misted over as she replied in her flat tone.
“I'm sure you would tell me, Jim. But it's not like you tell me anything overly important now a days.”
There was nothing to say to that. So Jim tried to steer the subject to safer, solid grounds.
“How's research going on Gamma-”
“I like them.” Winona interrupted as though he had not spoken. She declared it authoritatively, with a swift nod decisive as banging down an approval stamp. “I like them both. The girl, Lt. Uhura--she's much like I was at her age. Ambitious. Determined. Focused. But there is a genuine kindness to find in her so rare for someone so accomplished her age. She is stern as steel, but not cuthroat.”
Winona padded over in slippered feet to pour her coffee in the stainless steel sink, still talking.
“I like your First Officer, too. I can tell that you've been through hell together. There's something about the way the two of you are I can't put my finger on. Like he belongs at your side. As if he's always been there and always will.”
“He's my best friend,” Jim said simply. “Him and Bones.”
“And Uhura?”
“Nyota too. Friendships are different.” He finished somewhat lamely. Winona once more said nothing. Born with a bluffer’s instinct, Jim rambled.
“Nyota's asleep now. Spock's meditating. I figure the three of us can deal with my old room for the rest of the weekend since I know there will be several relatives coming in from out of town and Aunt Gertrude will probably want to stay in Sam's...”
“So who's the main couple?” she asked baldly.
Jim blinked. Taken aback.
“What?” then, before he could bottle the impulse “Ma'am?”
“Who's the main couple, and who's the guest lover?” she repeated. “At first I figured it was you who was the third party. No offense, Jim...but you're not exactly the type to settle. But then I saw the way that Vulcan looked at you. It's like the sun shines out of your ass to him. So I figured the girl is the add on...but that's not it either. And it's definitely not him. It's you or her; I can't figure out which one it is.”
Jim's brain ached. He needed more coffee before he dealt with Mom-logic.
“What do you mean 'add on'?”
“I've been around the galaxy a time or two, Jim. I know a bit about the world,” Winona snarked dryly, with a wry yet mischievous smirk. “I know a menage a trois when I see one. I was just wondering whether you and Spock are the couple and Nyota's the tag-a-long, or if Nyota and Spock are letting you in as their “experiment”. Or whatever you kids are calling it these days.”
A dull ruddy flush steamed Jim's throat. He shook his head, as if to clear it, before answering.
“Neither. We're all a couple. Well, not a couple. But a relationship. All three of us.”
Now it was Winona's turn to frown, uncomprehending.
“I don't follow you Jim.”
“It's not like there's a couple and a third person added. All three of us are together. A triad. We're all together.”
Winona blinked, but whatever surprise flitted across her heart-shaped face was gone within a second. With a nonchalant shrug, she pressed the coffee pot off, utterly unruffled and dry.
“For now. It doesn't work that way.” Concern suddenly ghosted across her. “You're not actually emotionally invested in this, are you?”
Reassurance hot-tailed her concern.
“Of course you're not. You never are. You're you.” She answered her own question matter-of-factly, turning her back before she could see Jim's knuckles clench white.
You don't know me at all. And you never will.
“You don't know us.” Jim said flatly. The response felt uncharacteristically stupid, even to his ears. “You don't know how we work.”
“But I know people. And I know that sometimes we get a little bored. Need to spice things up. And there's nothing wrong with that. I just want you to know a fall out is coming, and you need to be prepared when it happens. Need to be prepared Spock might not choose you.”
Winona's back remained to him. Her graying hair, ragged over bare shoulders peaking through a sacky nightgown, caught rosy in the dawn's glow.
“I...know of what I speak. I've never told you this... but your father and I...experimented. With other lovers.”
Rooted to the tile, Jim listened. Surprised, but not shocked.
“We both saw this person the same night. At a Star Fleet official function,” a rueful smile curled her voice. “A beautiful young officer. And at first it just felt so natural and normal that even though we were married, we could admit to one another we were attracted to the same person without any jealousy.”
Then something in her throat thickened, rang more strongly like the Winona who flitted sporadic through Jim's childhood.
“And we took her to our bed now and then. It was frequent for a year or so. This was before either you or Sam was born. Then there was him. The other main one. He was the only one we let come on vacations with us. He stayed our friend after we closed off our relationship.”
“Why did you close off the relationship?” Jim asked in his captainly, unruffable calm. After meeting the older version of one of his lovers from a different dimension, fighting sparkly vampire clouds, and meeting Surak and Abraham Lincoln, there really wasn't much the universe could throw to shock him. Winona merely shrugged, running her fingers through her hair in a tic mirroring her son's.
“It got boring. Oh, sure. Having threesomes is fun for awhile. When you're young and horny and conventionality seems so 'boring', it's fun to have another person there. I don't regret it at all. Neither did George. We both had very fond memories of our encounters. But people change. We grow older. And in the end, we really didn't need anybody else but each other. So we closed off the relationship and settled down and had Sam and you. It never came up again. I imagine if one of us had fond someone we liked we would have talked about it...” here her voice grew bitter “...but it never came up.”
Outside on the streak of the road, dust upkicked over the corn tasseles. Jim knew there were but minutes before the Kirk house teamed with relatives whose names he had forgotten at age 8, gathering for the wedding of Sam and Aurelian...
“So,” Jim said slowly. “You're bisexual? And so was Dad?'
“Well, I never really put a label on it, and neither did he...but we both were attracted to men and women. So, yes. I guess that's the old-fashioned term for it, isn't it?” She could not resist a smirk. “You're really quite conventional sometimes, you know that, Jim?”
Winona continued to talk as she leaned against the kitchen counter opposite Jim's. There was a detached, matter-of-fact musing in her voice as if she was narrating a dull story, as if she was threading meaningless science data through her sharp and brilliant mind.
“Based off my observations, I'm guessing Spock's the core of the relationship. Although...you and Nyota are almost exactly like George and I were at your age. She's so serious and you're such a rascal...same slap-slap-kiss, almost brother-sister kind of dynamic. Like us, but gender-swapped. It's a little spooky. If you're anything now like you used to be, I can see you backing out and leaving them alone. It wouldn't surprise me at all.” She finished with a final nod.
Jim was careful to bottle back the response which boiled in his blood.
“I don't know how it was with you and Dad,” he said firmly. “But there is a difference between an open relationship and a triad polyamorous one. One's not better or worse than the other. “Different strokes for different folks” as Bones would like to say. But it's not us. We need each other. All three of us together. I'm not defending myself to you, or asking, or really caring about your approval. I'm just explaining how it is.”
Winona tilted her head to the side. A smug smile pulled slyly at the corner of lips. As if she owned and knew the world.
“Well, we'll see.” She finished, maddeningly self-satisfied. As if Jim couldn't feel even more stripped of 20 years, she called over her shoulder after whisking from the room.
“Do keep your little tribal relationship on the downlow, okay, sweetie? This is a family-friendly gathering.”
Fucking hypocrite.
2. SpockPrime
“I find myself intrigued yet not entirely surprised at the similarities which have occurred in our two universes.”
“Indeed. However, while the first Romulan sighting at the first Narada incident might have altered the relationships between Earth, Romulus, and Vulcan, I understand many of the interglatatic tensions to be not so dissimilar.”
“Naturally. Yet I find myself puzzled by slight differences between the universes for which I find no logical explanation. For example, the Enterprise upon which you serve is structurally and aesthetically different than my own. I understand that the arrival of Nero triggered a more...militaristic approach in Star Fleet diplomacy. However, for the more minor differences, I find no causal connection. I assume them to be merely the natural consequence of the criterion of a new universe.”
“Indeed. And yet the Enterprise is helmed by the same individuals. The odds of such an occurance taking place is...”
“Infinitismal.” the older Spock agreed. The two strolling Vulcans slowed to a halt. “Agreed.”
“However,” he added, titling his head in consideration. “There was another original member of the crew. Gary Mitchell was the initial first officer. I took on his duties as second in conjunction with my science officer duties after his death. Jim Kirk and I, however, had been friends for many years before that.”
“And the Captain was the youngest to achieve command in your universe as well?” Spock asked curiously.
“Yes. However, he did not achieve the rank until he was 30 years of age. Somehow, I believe he would have been pleased to know his record could only be beaten by himself.”
A soft, sad humor subtly twitched in the Vulcan's lip, but his dark eyes shrank back to farther places. The younger Spock watched him with sharp, inquisitive dark eyes.
“You loved him.” the younger Vulcan said badly. Two pairs of identical eyes faced off in mirrored understanding. A silent nod passed between them, cementing as a vow.
“Yes. He was my t'hy'la.”
“He is mine as well.”
The elder Spock blinked.
“Already? My Jim and I did not act upon our feelings until we were well with our 40's, after a period of most bitter separation. I am...surprised to find myself in a committed relationship so quickly.” Here, his thin voice softened. “Yet I also find myself not displeased.”
“I understand, then, that you were in a polyamorous relationship with your Captain and Lt. Uhura in your universe as well?” Spock asked.
His elder counterpart halted.
“Lt. Uhura? No. Nyota Uhura was my very, very dear friend. She was...slightly attracted to me at the beginning of our five year mission. However, I did not return her feelings and she very quickly moved onward. We did, however, share a close platonic relationship”
The younger Spock stood still as a tree, hands knitting behind his back as his brain stewed about.
“Am I to understand...your relationship with Jim Kirk was monogamous?”
The elder Spock turned his back and stared quietly into the distance.
“Jim Kirk was the only one. He was the only one I have ever l-” the word choked. Broke. Still too sacred to say.
“Only Jim.” He murmured finally. “Only Jim.”
The younger Spock's love for Jim Kirk thrummed so deep within him that sometimes it terrified him. Nothing had ever been so holy and dire. Regardless of whether their relationship was platonic or romantic, Spock could not fathom a universe without Jim Kirk as the other half of his soul. Yet Nyota- her bright eyes, her tender touch, her fierce, burning look...how could he stand before her and not be moved by her? As much as he treasured his mornings alone with Jim, how could he live happily without walking in on his lovers' pillow fights? Or the times he drifted into their quarters to find them making love; content either to strip to fold amongst them or watch them writhe in escatic beauty?
He resolved to himself not share this new, unsatisfactory detail with them.
It was the first time since entering the triad he had willingly concealed something of import.
3. Janice Rand
Janice Rand isn't the brightest bulb in auxiliary generator, but even Star Fleet has a place for the willing-yet-not-exceptional. They are called Yeomans. She notices the change in the Captain when he stops oogling her stripper's body barely squeezed into a Star Fleet uniform. He notices the change in her a week after Spock's pon farr.
“Are you alright, Yeoman?” he cannot help by ask. He hadn't taken much note of her since his best friend stole his heart. But now that that vague, submissive, sweet little smile of hers was flattened in a nonplussed pout, he wondered what storm had drifted through her empty head.
“I'm fine, Sir.” She replied stiffly, handing him his coffee. “Will that be all, sir?”
He stared her steelily in the face. It's none of my business, he decided.
“Dismissed, Yeoman.”
With a swift salute, Yeoman Rand turned on her heel. But as she whisked out of the room she stole a glance over her shoulder. The flat-eyed glance of the boys in Jim's high school, who saw the way he stared at Billy Marlowe. That shrouded glare which crept like bugs beneath his skin, set his neck hairs on end.
She knew.
Jim Kirk had a skin thick as leather. But sometimes, he thought bitterly, the world's slowness
drags you down.
4. Christine Chapel
“I don't know, Nyota. I can't get my head around it.”
“Why? Because it's unprofessional? Trust me, we can detach ourselves emotionally. In fact, I think some of us detach ourselves emotionally too much...”
“It's not that. I know being on the Enterprise is first and foremost to you all.”
“...besides, I wouldn't call the looks a certain doctor-who-shall-not-be-named gives you entirely professional...”
Christine did not rise to Nyota's attempt at humor. A frown pursed on the nurse's lips.
“What's bothering you, then?”
Christine shrugged. She did not stand up, but Nyota saw her friend frigdet awkwardly, rotating the cup of tea slowly in her hands.
“I should be reporting to sickbay,” she said finally.
“Lunch shift isn't over until the end of the hour,” Nyota reminded her.
“There's a patient in the critical unit.” Christine rose gracefully, blue eyes veiled and on her hands. “I enjoyed our tea, Nyota.”
“Okay.” Nyota knew enough of people not to press where she was unwanted. But the brief look in Christine's eyes seared in her memory for weeks
“I never thought you were the type of girl...”
Their friendship mended itself. Awkward pauses and gusts of stilted conversation gave way to the the giggles of older times. Nyota counted victory when Christine asked, somewhat timidly, if it was stressful dating two high-strung men at once.
“Polyamory is not for everyone,” Nyota explained. “Just like monogamy is not for everyone.”
Christine nodded, mulling it over. She didn't get it. You could see it in her jaw.
But she was trying. She was trying.
5. Star Fleet
“Captain Kirk, thank you for your audience.”
“Likewise, Admiral Komack. I'll be blunt since I have a ship to run, and I know you are a busy man as well. What have I done this time?”
“You are not under investigation or any threat of penalty. Now. Star Fleet merely wishes to discuss a rumor with you before it comes into contact with the press.”
“With all due respect, Admiral. The media has been tailing me ever since I received command. If Spock were here, he could probably tell you how many contradictory stories the tabloid channels have run on me over the course of his mission down to the 7th digit.”
“Oddly enough, Captain, Commander Spock is one of the two matters we must discuss.”
(fiercely) “What you'd got against my First Officer? And what's the other matter?”
“The other matter is Lt. Nyota Uhura, your communications officer.”
Silence.
“I gather from your silence you have surmised the purpose of this inquiry?”
“Negative, Admiral.”
“Are you aware as to whether or not Lt. Uhura and Commander Spock engaged in a romantic relationship while she was his student at Star Fleet Academy.”
(trying not to sound too relieved.) “She was never romantically involved with him while she was his student. No. They would not do that.”
“But there is romantic tension between them to this day?”
“That is none of my concern, Admiral.”
“It is Star Fleet's concern if a love triangle has blossomed between you, your First Officer, and your Communications Officer.”
A dead beat.
Then...
“What?”
Recovery.
“No...just...no. You've got it all wrong, Admiral.”
“I'm glad to hear it, Captain. Be aware that while fraternization is technically allowed by regulations, Star Fleet does have an image to uphold.”
Admiral Komack's face blinked out in a welcome blip.
The only other time anyone ever suspected was Admiral Pike. It was one of their rare face-to-face conversations, where the line between speaking as officers and speaking as friends blurred indistinct.
“It can happen that you find yourself in situations you never thought,” Pike alluded mysterious. “Other people bring out sides of you you'd never thought you'd see. And even in the end if it all goes sour, if it changes you...sticks with you for the better...it's worth it.”
It's the closest thing to personal that Pike has ever told him. It's only later in his quarters, nestled between his lovers, that Jim remembers the sly way which Pike eyes him.
“He remained our friend even after we closed off the relationship....”
No. Way.
Everything fell together like a jigsaw puzzle springing to life. Jim's jaw dropped.
Even after years in space, Jim Kirk could still miss curveballs.
+1
Hey.” Nyota sits. “I like your room. It’s very cozy.”
“You've said that already.”
“Yeah. Well...I still like it.”
“Well, I''m still here.”
A new hardness had edged through Gaila’s once cherubic face. At the cleaved chin. At the curve of her green cheeks. Something in her had withered. Yet despite the flat thighs which stubbed empty at the knees, despite her twisted spine, the same minxish sparkle danced in those clear blue eyes Nyota had always known.
“A lot has happened,” Gaila said finally. Her gold lips twisted in a knowing smile. “You’ve been doing a lot over the years.”
Nyota nodded. A hot shame drenched her skin.
“I should have called you more…”
She was silenced with a flat raised palm.
“Please. You are off busy being an incredible communications officer, saying brilliant things in thousands of languages at once.” Gaila softly pats her friend’s arm. “I remember.” Now, more wistful-“Oh yes. I remember.”
The silence between the two women hangs for several shrouded minutes. When it comes out, it comes out in Orion. Completely, totally unmediated.
“I’m in a polyamorous relationship with both Spock and the Captain.”
Nyota hears the soft pop of Gaila’s jaw dropping, but does not glance up at the other woman.
“It’s…a long story. But we’ve been together for awhile now. And…yeah. We’re a triad.”
Gaila shrugged her shoulders.
“Tame. “
Nyota’s head snapped up. Gaila’s golden lips twisted in a glistening knot, thoroughly unbothered but a tad bit disappointed.
“Two lovers at once? In my homeworld, had you been one of my sisters, we would have made fun of you and told you you had a pea-sized vagina. But I guess for a human, that’s pretty amazing. You overcame the social conditioning of your monogamist upbringing to follow your heart's desire. I’m proud of you, Nyota.”
Nyota couldn’t help but laugh shakily as an unacknowledged nervousness drained from her tense muscles. What was she worried about? This was Gaila!
“So…” a positively wicked grin lit up Gaila’s emerald face. “…has it been cold on Aires IV?”
Nyota blinked.
“What?”
“I recall something or other about hell freezing over the day Jim Kirk got you into bed…”
Nyota swatted her friend in mock-frustrating while Gaila burst into petals of laughter. There was something papery in that booming laugh, like it hadn’t sounded in awhile.
“Gaila…”
“Oh by the Goddess!” Gaila squeeled suddenly, perking up even more. “We’ve had sex with the same man! That means we are practically sisters in blood and bonded forever!’
“We already are,” Nyota entwined her fingers with Gaila's. “Always.”
“Did it cross your mind…”
“Actually, I was kinda looking forward to seeing the look on your face when I told you I’ve slept with Jim Kirk,” Nyota admitted, smiling. “Dreading the “I told you so.” But looking forward to the smile.”
The smile which split open Gaila’s face at the seams was the most beautiful thing Nyota had seen all year. Finally, Gaila leaned back into her pillow, contently mulling over the news with a sort of possessive satisfaction.
“So, Jim does dig the dick?”
“Oh, absolutely.”
“Knew it,” she giggled. “Those uber macho ladies men are always at least bi-curious. No heterosexual guy would eeeeeva proclaim his heterosexuality that passionately. And Spock likes having two lovers?”
“Yes. It’s…complicated…but we really work better with Jim there. We’re happier.”
“Kinky. I thought Vulcans were all about monogamy. Just goes to show you should never stereotype.”
The ice between them had thawed and conversation came in avalanches. With a tender hug, they said farewell, and Nyota found herself smiling even as she ached inside as she pattered towards the door.
“Nyota?”
She halted.
“Are you happy?”
Nyota glanced over her shoulders. It didn’t matter, she had long decided (with her usual, steely pride) whether or not the world understood. All you had to decide in life was what life you took into your hands, what life best suits your skin. But even though others opinions didn’t matter, the unconditional acceptance alight in Gaila’s smile warmed her all up through her bones.
“Yes,” Nyota said finally. “I am very happy.”
More in this verse here: http://ansley15.livejournal.com/8312.html
()()()
Author's Notes:
* In my head canon, Gaila survies the Farragut and is unmaimed. I am in deep denial. I hurt her for this story, though, but you must know I felt bad about it.
* In the scene with Kirk and the Admiralty, Kirk is telling a "Vulcan lie" as I like to call them. In my head canon, Spock and Uhura fell in love while she was his student, but only started dating later. This is because I think it'd be OOC for him to date a student, or her, a teacher. (And my kink for couples in love unable to act on their emotions for a loong time before it all comes out has nothing to do with it. Not. At. All.)
*Thanks to the anonymous commenter who wanted to see what their "first trip home" would be like. Well, I know this isn't what you wanted, but it inspired me to write the first scene and the rest flows. Thanks for the inspiration!
Fandom: Star Trek
Pairing: Kirk/Spock/Uhura (with a brief mention of another polyamorous relationship,TOS!Kirk/TOS!Spock, and implied pre-McCoy/Chapel.)
Summary: 5 people a member of the triad came out to who didn't understand, and one who did. Unconditionally.
1. Winona Kirk
“So,” Winona broke the silence, jerking her head at the ceiling. “Who's fucking who?”
Jim's steaming coffee mug clanked unto the counter. With a scowl, he turned to stare broodily out the window; unto the rolling fields of dry amber, crisp as wit beneath a peerless sky. His mother interrupted him before he could even sulk properly.
“Oh, don't give me that “I'm going to stare moodily into the distance because I'm a big tortured Star fleet captain,” Winona rolled her bright blue eyes. Their eyes. In her 50's, Winona was a short, stout, molly little woman graying at her hair part with a waist slender as a girl's over broad, hard-handled hips. These hips fit not in tiny places, her smooth cat-smile smirked. She eyed Jim as she always did, with that flat-eyed ironic knowing. Like she had him figured. Like she had seen it all.
“You're all sharing one room with a single bed and a futon. I'm just wondering who's sleeping where. That's all.”
“I'm not sixteen anymore, Mom. Even if this is your house...”
“Does Nyota mind sharing a room with you boys? I assume you and Spock take the bed and man it out, and she takes the futon. Unless you boys are gentlemen and let her take the bed.”
“Nah, Nyota would kill us if we tried that patriarchal “gentleman” bullshit. Not that I'd try. I learned from the best. Remember?” Jim flashed his trickster grin at his mother; genuine, despite himself. With a strangely Spockish eyebrow lift, Winona sipped her coffee. Silent.
Jim knew this trick. It brought him back to age 8. She was stretching the silence to an unbearable length. Stretch it til he spoke. Well, she wasn't going to win this time...
Since when had coming home tensed him like a space battle?
“We've endured worse in the trenches.” Jim joked. “Sometime I should tell you about the time Spock, Bones, and I got holed up together in a Cardassian dungeon.” Winona's eyes misted over as she replied in her flat tone.
“I'm sure you would tell me, Jim. But it's not like you tell me anything overly important now a days.”
There was nothing to say to that. So Jim tried to steer the subject to safer, solid grounds.
“How's research going on Gamma-”
“I like them.” Winona interrupted as though he had not spoken. She declared it authoritatively, with a swift nod decisive as banging down an approval stamp. “I like them both. The girl, Lt. Uhura--she's much like I was at her age. Ambitious. Determined. Focused. But there is a genuine kindness to find in her so rare for someone so accomplished her age. She is stern as steel, but not cuthroat.”
Winona padded over in slippered feet to pour her coffee in the stainless steel sink, still talking.
“I like your First Officer, too. I can tell that you've been through hell together. There's something about the way the two of you are I can't put my finger on. Like he belongs at your side. As if he's always been there and always will.”
“He's my best friend,” Jim said simply. “Him and Bones.”
“And Uhura?”
“Nyota too. Friendships are different.” He finished somewhat lamely. Winona once more said nothing. Born with a bluffer’s instinct, Jim rambled.
“Nyota's asleep now. Spock's meditating. I figure the three of us can deal with my old room for the rest of the weekend since I know there will be several relatives coming in from out of town and Aunt Gertrude will probably want to stay in Sam's...”
“So who's the main couple?” she asked baldly.
Jim blinked. Taken aback.
“What?” then, before he could bottle the impulse “Ma'am?”
“Who's the main couple, and who's the guest lover?” she repeated. “At first I figured it was you who was the third party. No offense, Jim...but you're not exactly the type to settle. But then I saw the way that Vulcan looked at you. It's like the sun shines out of your ass to him. So I figured the girl is the add on...but that's not it either. And it's definitely not him. It's you or her; I can't figure out which one it is.”
Jim's brain ached. He needed more coffee before he dealt with Mom-logic.
“What do you mean 'add on'?”
“I've been around the galaxy a time or two, Jim. I know a bit about the world,” Winona snarked dryly, with a wry yet mischievous smirk. “I know a menage a trois when I see one. I was just wondering whether you and Spock are the couple and Nyota's the tag-a-long, or if Nyota and Spock are letting you in as their “experiment”. Or whatever you kids are calling it these days.”
A dull ruddy flush steamed Jim's throat. He shook his head, as if to clear it, before answering.
“Neither. We're all a couple. Well, not a couple. But a relationship. All three of us.”
Now it was Winona's turn to frown, uncomprehending.
“I don't follow you Jim.”
“It's not like there's a couple and a third person added. All three of us are together. A triad. We're all together.”
Winona blinked, but whatever surprise flitted across her heart-shaped face was gone within a second. With a nonchalant shrug, she pressed the coffee pot off, utterly unruffled and dry.
“For now. It doesn't work that way.” Concern suddenly ghosted across her. “You're not actually emotionally invested in this, are you?”
Reassurance hot-tailed her concern.
“Of course you're not. You never are. You're you.” She answered her own question matter-of-factly, turning her back before she could see Jim's knuckles clench white.
You don't know me at all. And you never will.
“You don't know us.” Jim said flatly. The response felt uncharacteristically stupid, even to his ears. “You don't know how we work.”
“But I know people. And I know that sometimes we get a little bored. Need to spice things up. And there's nothing wrong with that. I just want you to know a fall out is coming, and you need to be prepared when it happens. Need to be prepared Spock might not choose you.”
Winona's back remained to him. Her graying hair, ragged over bare shoulders peaking through a sacky nightgown, caught rosy in the dawn's glow.
“I...know of what I speak. I've never told you this... but your father and I...experimented. With other lovers.”
Rooted to the tile, Jim listened. Surprised, but not shocked.
“We both saw this person the same night. At a Star Fleet official function,” a rueful smile curled her voice. “A beautiful young officer. And at first it just felt so natural and normal that even though we were married, we could admit to one another we were attracted to the same person without any jealousy.”
Then something in her throat thickened, rang more strongly like the Winona who flitted sporadic through Jim's childhood.
“And we took her to our bed now and then. It was frequent for a year or so. This was before either you or Sam was born. Then there was him. The other main one. He was the only one we let come on vacations with us. He stayed our friend after we closed off our relationship.”
“Why did you close off the relationship?” Jim asked in his captainly, unruffable calm. After meeting the older version of one of his lovers from a different dimension, fighting sparkly vampire clouds, and meeting Surak and Abraham Lincoln, there really wasn't much the universe could throw to shock him. Winona merely shrugged, running her fingers through her hair in a tic mirroring her son's.
“It got boring. Oh, sure. Having threesomes is fun for awhile. When you're young and horny and conventionality seems so 'boring', it's fun to have another person there. I don't regret it at all. Neither did George. We both had very fond memories of our encounters. But people change. We grow older. And in the end, we really didn't need anybody else but each other. So we closed off the relationship and settled down and had Sam and you. It never came up again. I imagine if one of us had fond someone we liked we would have talked about it...” here her voice grew bitter “...but it never came up.”
Outside on the streak of the road, dust upkicked over the corn tasseles. Jim knew there were but minutes before the Kirk house teamed with relatives whose names he had forgotten at age 8, gathering for the wedding of Sam and Aurelian...
“So,” Jim said slowly. “You're bisexual? And so was Dad?'
“Well, I never really put a label on it, and neither did he...but we both were attracted to men and women. So, yes. I guess that's the old-fashioned term for it, isn't it?” She could not resist a smirk. “You're really quite conventional sometimes, you know that, Jim?”
Winona continued to talk as she leaned against the kitchen counter opposite Jim's. There was a detached, matter-of-fact musing in her voice as if she was narrating a dull story, as if she was threading meaningless science data through her sharp and brilliant mind.
“Based off my observations, I'm guessing Spock's the core of the relationship. Although...you and Nyota are almost exactly like George and I were at your age. She's so serious and you're such a rascal...same slap-slap-kiss, almost brother-sister kind of dynamic. Like us, but gender-swapped. It's a little spooky. If you're anything now like you used to be, I can see you backing out and leaving them alone. It wouldn't surprise me at all.” She finished with a final nod.
Jim was careful to bottle back the response which boiled in his blood.
“I don't know how it was with you and Dad,” he said firmly. “But there is a difference between an open relationship and a triad polyamorous one. One's not better or worse than the other. “Different strokes for different folks” as Bones would like to say. But it's not us. We need each other. All three of us together. I'm not defending myself to you, or asking, or really caring about your approval. I'm just explaining how it is.”
Winona tilted her head to the side. A smug smile pulled slyly at the corner of lips. As if she owned and knew the world.
“Well, we'll see.” She finished, maddeningly self-satisfied. As if Jim couldn't feel even more stripped of 20 years, she called over her shoulder after whisking from the room.
“Do keep your little tribal relationship on the downlow, okay, sweetie? This is a family-friendly gathering.”
Fucking hypocrite.
2. SpockPrime
“I find myself intrigued yet not entirely surprised at the similarities which have occurred in our two universes.”
“Indeed. However, while the first Romulan sighting at the first Narada incident might have altered the relationships between Earth, Romulus, and Vulcan, I understand many of the interglatatic tensions to be not so dissimilar.”
“Naturally. Yet I find myself puzzled by slight differences between the universes for which I find no logical explanation. For example, the Enterprise upon which you serve is structurally and aesthetically different than my own. I understand that the arrival of Nero triggered a more...militaristic approach in Star Fleet diplomacy. However, for the more minor differences, I find no causal connection. I assume them to be merely the natural consequence of the criterion of a new universe.”
“Indeed. And yet the Enterprise is helmed by the same individuals. The odds of such an occurance taking place is...”
“Infinitismal.” the older Spock agreed. The two strolling Vulcans slowed to a halt. “Agreed.”
“However,” he added, titling his head in consideration. “There was another original member of the crew. Gary Mitchell was the initial first officer. I took on his duties as second in conjunction with my science officer duties after his death. Jim Kirk and I, however, had been friends for many years before that.”
“And the Captain was the youngest to achieve command in your universe as well?” Spock asked curiously.
“Yes. However, he did not achieve the rank until he was 30 years of age. Somehow, I believe he would have been pleased to know his record could only be beaten by himself.”
A soft, sad humor subtly twitched in the Vulcan's lip, but his dark eyes shrank back to farther places. The younger Spock watched him with sharp, inquisitive dark eyes.
“You loved him.” the younger Vulcan said badly. Two pairs of identical eyes faced off in mirrored understanding. A silent nod passed between them, cementing as a vow.
“Yes. He was my t'hy'la.”
“He is mine as well.”
The elder Spock blinked.
“Already? My Jim and I did not act upon our feelings until we were well with our 40's, after a period of most bitter separation. I am...surprised to find myself in a committed relationship so quickly.” Here, his thin voice softened. “Yet I also find myself not displeased.”
“I understand, then, that you were in a polyamorous relationship with your Captain and Lt. Uhura in your universe as well?” Spock asked.
His elder counterpart halted.
“Lt. Uhura? No. Nyota Uhura was my very, very dear friend. She was...slightly attracted to me at the beginning of our five year mission. However, I did not return her feelings and she very quickly moved onward. We did, however, share a close platonic relationship”
The younger Spock stood still as a tree, hands knitting behind his back as his brain stewed about.
“Am I to understand...your relationship with Jim Kirk was monogamous?”
The elder Spock turned his back and stared quietly into the distance.
“Jim Kirk was the only one. He was the only one I have ever l-” the word choked. Broke. Still too sacred to say.
“Only Jim.” He murmured finally. “Only Jim.”
The younger Spock's love for Jim Kirk thrummed so deep within him that sometimes it terrified him. Nothing had ever been so holy and dire. Regardless of whether their relationship was platonic or romantic, Spock could not fathom a universe without Jim Kirk as the other half of his soul. Yet Nyota- her bright eyes, her tender touch, her fierce, burning look...how could he stand before her and not be moved by her? As much as he treasured his mornings alone with Jim, how could he live happily without walking in on his lovers' pillow fights? Or the times he drifted into their quarters to find them making love; content either to strip to fold amongst them or watch them writhe in escatic beauty?
He resolved to himself not share this new, unsatisfactory detail with them.
It was the first time since entering the triad he had willingly concealed something of import.
3. Janice Rand
Janice Rand isn't the brightest bulb in auxiliary generator, but even Star Fleet has a place for the willing-yet-not-exceptional. They are called Yeomans. She notices the change in the Captain when he stops oogling her stripper's body barely squeezed into a Star Fleet uniform. He notices the change in her a week after Spock's pon farr.
“Are you alright, Yeoman?” he cannot help by ask. He hadn't taken much note of her since his best friend stole his heart. But now that that vague, submissive, sweet little smile of hers was flattened in a nonplussed pout, he wondered what storm had drifted through her empty head.
“I'm fine, Sir.” She replied stiffly, handing him his coffee. “Will that be all, sir?”
He stared her steelily in the face. It's none of my business, he decided.
“Dismissed, Yeoman.”
With a swift salute, Yeoman Rand turned on her heel. But as she whisked out of the room she stole a glance over her shoulder. The flat-eyed glance of the boys in Jim's high school, who saw the way he stared at Billy Marlowe. That shrouded glare which crept like bugs beneath his skin, set his neck hairs on end.
She knew.
Jim Kirk had a skin thick as leather. But sometimes, he thought bitterly, the world's slowness
drags you down.
4. Christine Chapel
“I don't know, Nyota. I can't get my head around it.”
“Why? Because it's unprofessional? Trust me, we can detach ourselves emotionally. In fact, I think some of us detach ourselves emotionally too much...”
“It's not that. I know being on the Enterprise is first and foremost to you all.”
“...besides, I wouldn't call the looks a certain doctor-who-shall-not-be-named gives you entirely professional...”
Christine did not rise to Nyota's attempt at humor. A frown pursed on the nurse's lips.
“What's bothering you, then?”
Christine shrugged. She did not stand up, but Nyota saw her friend frigdet awkwardly, rotating the cup of tea slowly in her hands.
“I should be reporting to sickbay,” she said finally.
“Lunch shift isn't over until the end of the hour,” Nyota reminded her.
“There's a patient in the critical unit.” Christine rose gracefully, blue eyes veiled and on her hands. “I enjoyed our tea, Nyota.”
“Okay.” Nyota knew enough of people not to press where she was unwanted. But the brief look in Christine's eyes seared in her memory for weeks
“I never thought you were the type of girl...”
Their friendship mended itself. Awkward pauses and gusts of stilted conversation gave way to the the giggles of older times. Nyota counted victory when Christine asked, somewhat timidly, if it was stressful dating two high-strung men at once.
“Polyamory is not for everyone,” Nyota explained. “Just like monogamy is not for everyone.”
Christine nodded, mulling it over. She didn't get it. You could see it in her jaw.
But she was trying. She was trying.
5. Star Fleet
“Captain Kirk, thank you for your audience.”
“Likewise, Admiral Komack. I'll be blunt since I have a ship to run, and I know you are a busy man as well. What have I done this time?”
“You are not under investigation or any threat of penalty. Now. Star Fleet merely wishes to discuss a rumor with you before it comes into contact with the press.”
“With all due respect, Admiral. The media has been tailing me ever since I received command. If Spock were here, he could probably tell you how many contradictory stories the tabloid channels have run on me over the course of his mission down to the 7th digit.”
“Oddly enough, Captain, Commander Spock is one of the two matters we must discuss.”
(fiercely) “What you'd got against my First Officer? And what's the other matter?”
“The other matter is Lt. Nyota Uhura, your communications officer.”
Silence.
“I gather from your silence you have surmised the purpose of this inquiry?”
“Negative, Admiral.”
“Are you aware as to whether or not Lt. Uhura and Commander Spock engaged in a romantic relationship while she was his student at Star Fleet Academy.”
(trying not to sound too relieved.) “She was never romantically involved with him while she was his student. No. They would not do that.”
“But there is romantic tension between them to this day?”
“That is none of my concern, Admiral.”
“It is Star Fleet's concern if a love triangle has blossomed between you, your First Officer, and your Communications Officer.”
A dead beat.
Then...
“What?”
Recovery.
“No...just...no. You've got it all wrong, Admiral.”
“I'm glad to hear it, Captain. Be aware that while fraternization is technically allowed by regulations, Star Fleet does have an image to uphold.”
Admiral Komack's face blinked out in a welcome blip.
The only other time anyone ever suspected was Admiral Pike. It was one of their rare face-to-face conversations, where the line between speaking as officers and speaking as friends blurred indistinct.
“It can happen that you find yourself in situations you never thought,” Pike alluded mysterious. “Other people bring out sides of you you'd never thought you'd see. And even in the end if it all goes sour, if it changes you...sticks with you for the better...it's worth it.”
It's the closest thing to personal that Pike has ever told him. It's only later in his quarters, nestled between his lovers, that Jim remembers the sly way which Pike eyes him.
“He remained our friend even after we closed off the relationship....”
No. Way.
Everything fell together like a jigsaw puzzle springing to life. Jim's jaw dropped.
Even after years in space, Jim Kirk could still miss curveballs.
+1
Hey.” Nyota sits. “I like your room. It’s very cozy.”
“You've said that already.”
“Yeah. Well...I still like it.”
“Well, I''m still here.”
A new hardness had edged through Gaila’s once cherubic face. At the cleaved chin. At the curve of her green cheeks. Something in her had withered. Yet despite the flat thighs which stubbed empty at the knees, despite her twisted spine, the same minxish sparkle danced in those clear blue eyes Nyota had always known.
“A lot has happened,” Gaila said finally. Her gold lips twisted in a knowing smile. “You’ve been doing a lot over the years.”
Nyota nodded. A hot shame drenched her skin.
“I should have called you more…”
She was silenced with a flat raised palm.
“Please. You are off busy being an incredible communications officer, saying brilliant things in thousands of languages at once.” Gaila softly pats her friend’s arm. “I remember.” Now, more wistful-“Oh yes. I remember.”
The silence between the two women hangs for several shrouded minutes. When it comes out, it comes out in Orion. Completely, totally unmediated.
“I’m in a polyamorous relationship with both Spock and the Captain.”
Nyota hears the soft pop of Gaila’s jaw dropping, but does not glance up at the other woman.
“It’s…a long story. But we’ve been together for awhile now. And…yeah. We’re a triad.”
Gaila shrugged her shoulders.
“Tame. “
Nyota’s head snapped up. Gaila’s golden lips twisted in a glistening knot, thoroughly unbothered but a tad bit disappointed.
“Two lovers at once? In my homeworld, had you been one of my sisters, we would have made fun of you and told you you had a pea-sized vagina. But I guess for a human, that’s pretty amazing. You overcame the social conditioning of your monogamist upbringing to follow your heart's desire. I’m proud of you, Nyota.”
Nyota couldn’t help but laugh shakily as an unacknowledged nervousness drained from her tense muscles. What was she worried about? This was Gaila!
“So…” a positively wicked grin lit up Gaila’s emerald face. “…has it been cold on Aires IV?”
Nyota blinked.
“What?”
“I recall something or other about hell freezing over the day Jim Kirk got you into bed…”
Nyota swatted her friend in mock-frustrating while Gaila burst into petals of laughter. There was something papery in that booming laugh, like it hadn’t sounded in awhile.
“Gaila…”
“Oh by the Goddess!” Gaila squeeled suddenly, perking up even more. “We’ve had sex with the same man! That means we are practically sisters in blood and bonded forever!’
“We already are,” Nyota entwined her fingers with Gaila's. “Always.”
“Did it cross your mind…”
“Actually, I was kinda looking forward to seeing the look on your face when I told you I’ve slept with Jim Kirk,” Nyota admitted, smiling. “Dreading the “I told you so.” But looking forward to the smile.”
The smile which split open Gaila’s face at the seams was the most beautiful thing Nyota had seen all year. Finally, Gaila leaned back into her pillow, contently mulling over the news with a sort of possessive satisfaction.
“So, Jim does dig the dick?”
“Oh, absolutely.”
“Knew it,” she giggled. “Those uber macho ladies men are always at least bi-curious. No heterosexual guy would eeeeeva proclaim his heterosexuality that passionately. And Spock likes having two lovers?”
“Yes. It’s…complicated…but we really work better with Jim there. We’re happier.”
“Kinky. I thought Vulcans were all about monogamy. Just goes to show you should never stereotype.”
The ice between them had thawed and conversation came in avalanches. With a tender hug, they said farewell, and Nyota found herself smiling even as she ached inside as she pattered towards the door.
“Nyota?”
She halted.
“Are you happy?”
Nyota glanced over her shoulders. It didn’t matter, she had long decided (with her usual, steely pride) whether or not the world understood. All you had to decide in life was what life you took into your hands, what life best suits your skin. But even though others opinions didn’t matter, the unconditional acceptance alight in Gaila’s smile warmed her all up through her bones.
“Yes,” Nyota said finally. “I am very happy.”
More in this verse here: http://ansley15.livejournal.com/8312.html
()()()
Author's Notes:
* In my head canon, Gaila survies the Farragut and is unmaimed. I am in deep denial. I hurt her for this story, though, but you must know I felt bad about it.
* In the scene with Kirk and the Admiralty, Kirk is telling a "Vulcan lie" as I like to call them. In my head canon, Spock and Uhura fell in love while she was his student, but only started dating later. This is because I think it'd be OOC for him to date a student, or her, a teacher. (And my kink for couples in love unable to act on their emotions for a loong time before it all comes out has nothing to do with it. Not. At. All.)
*Thanks to the anonymous commenter who wanted to see what their "first trip home" would be like. Well, I know this isn't what you wanted, but it inspired me to write the first scene and the rest flows. Thanks for the inspiration!