Dammit, if I have to watch this video 500 times, I will learn to do the fucking Thriller dance.

I GOT MAULED BY A FUCKING BEAR.

fucking bear.
threw me off a bike.

billions of crying babies.
someone's dead mom.
a baby with down syndrome.
someone's dying mom.
a retarded kid with a cheap dad.

cows trek to a great palace of ash after dozing in weedy fields, only to find their sweetheart in hysterics! while throwing shards of glass that become whole upon impact, he fails to see his bovine harem enter, and continues his fit until they are covered in the floor's pearly blood, resembling statues of great eminence. tsk, now their udders are ( Read more... )

A demonstration of how cool it would be if I had a window in my basement:
A: Say, Marge, how's the weather today?
B: Very roly-poly!

( Read more... )

“But having such a big penis does have one drawback: it seems that co-ordinating eight legs, two feeding tentacles and a huge penis, whilst fending off an irate female, is a bit too much to ask, and one of the two males stranded on the Spanish coast had accidentally injected himself with sperm packages in the legs and body. And this does not seem ( Read more... )