Title: Love's Sorrow
Author:
aoi_jihyoLength: 06/20
Pairing: Yoosu
Genre: Angst/Smut/Romance
Rating: R
Warning: Probable m-preg
Summary: Junsu was aware that the man was his brother-in-law. Yoochun wasn't his and he knew it. But Junsu's darkest side still wanted him, it desired him. It was a question of pride, wasn't it?
Wasn't it?
Junsu wasn’t feeling well those days. Maybe he was just a little bit depressed with the events of last night. He hasn’t seen Yoochun since then and that made him feel even sadder.
The young boy walked inside the office making himself comfortable. Yes, time has passed but the boy was still pretty useless for the company. It didn’t matter, as long as he was getting money to pay his rent he was completely fine.
He door opened, Junsu looked at his brother whom was standing in front smiling. “Hi!”
Junsu smiled back mumbling “hi” as well. Jaejoong sat on one of the couches.
“Did you have fun yesterday?” he asked.
Junsu thought of Yoochun and the things that they did last night. “Yes, I did,” his voice sounded somewhat apologetic.
“I see, I can tell,” his grin scared Junsu.
Jaejoong noticed Junsu’s frown and his grin grew wider. “I know you are already nineteen years old, but…”
“But?”
Jaejoong patted the space next to him so Junsu could sit.
[F.L.A.S.H.B.A.C.K]
After their conversation, Mrs. Kim, Mr. Kim and Jaejoong sat on the table to eat dinner.
When the family was done eating Jaejoong and Mrs. Kim sat in the living room again. They were going to start talking about Jaejoong’s troubles but they were stopped by Jaejoong’s telephone’s ringtone.
“Ah?” the boy looked at the ID. “Is Junsu.”
Mrs. Kim walked beside the boy to hear the conversation. Jaejoong pressed the call bottom.
“Ah~”
Came the moans from the other line. At first Mrs. Kim and Jaejoong were quite confused about the weird sounds that were coming from the machine, they even thought that something bad might be happening to the boy, but after hearing the voice once again their faces turned bright red.
“H-hard-der! Please, faster!” moaned the boy. “AH~! There, r-right there. More!”
Jaejoong realized that Junsu must have probably pressed the bottoms of his phone by accident. Hurriedly he hung up.
“Well, now we know what your brother has been doing all this time,” said Mrs. Kim. She was disappointed just as how any parent would feel about their nineteen year old son having sexual relationships with another man.
“Yeah…” said Jaejoong awkwardly.
[E.N.D.F.L.A.S.H.B.A.C.K]
Junsu had his mouth wide open. He couldn’t believe that he didn’t notice about his phone.
“I…”
Jaejoong laughed at his brother’s face. He then smiled sweetly. “Is weird to know that you have an active sexual life, so I hope is with someone who you truly love.”
Junsu didn’t know what to say. He decided to not say anything because it just made him feel worse. He was having sex with his husband. He threaded Yoochun and seduced him. He was a horrible brother.
“ Maybe we can have another party, just with the family you know.”
The youngest man smiled. He wanted to see Yoochun so that was fine. “Yeah, why not.”
Jaejoong smiled. It was a little bit awkward so he decided to put an end to the conversation. “We’ll decide that in the evening then. I’ll see you later, work hard, ne!”
Junsu simply nodded. He sighed thinking about his brother and Yoochun. But Junsu didn’t care, or maybe he did, but he didn’t regret any of his actions.
----------
It was a week after when Junsu thought he could kill Yoochun. They had a fight before; just like the many fights they have had about their relationship and keeping things a secret. Yoochun was mad at him because Junsu tried to give him a hickey. Ok, he knew he was wrong but he just couldn’t help it. He has leaned on Yoochun’s bare neck and tried to suck the skin. Yoochun reacted and threw him to the floor with a loud thumb.
A big purple bruise formed on his upper arm because of that. Yoochun didn’t even apologized when Junsu said that he was sorry and that he had just forgotten.
And things didn’t go well after that. They met another day, and well, even though it was not a surprise Junsu almost had a heart attack. There were red marks all over Yoochun’s body. He knew that he shouldn’t be angry because those marks had been given by Jaejoong, Yoochun’s spouse. But still, it was hard knowing that he needed to share the man of his life, then again, he was the home wrecker, the bad guy of the story.
Without noticing Junsu’s tears fell running down his cheeks. It was so hard; it was just too hard being a bad son, being a bad brother, being a bad lover, being a bad person. He didn’t want to be bad; he wasn’t bad, was he?
But then, thinking about things, he wasn’t a good person either. He never got good grades, never followed his parent’s rules. He never appreciated his brother the way he should have. He threaded his lover and made him a bad person as well. He never donated money, he never volunteer to good causes, he didn’t care.
And he didn’t have any excuse for his behavior. He didn’t have a painful childhood to blame his actions on. He was popular, he was loved. He had it all. All but Yoochun. Yeah, that was it. He had it all but the only thing that he really wanted.
-----------
Jaejoong looked at his husband. Yoochun was sleeping on their bed, in their house, beside Jaejoong. He was there but yet he wasn’t.
The smiles, the attempts, all looked so fake in front of Jaejoong’s eyes. He appreciated the fact that Yoochun was trying. But he hated it. Why didn’t Yoochun just leave? Maybe his lover was more beaufitul. Maybe he was more interesting. Maybe he was better in bed, more satisfying than Jaejoong.
It was that, it had to be. Yoochun was probably just trying to distract himself. Maybe Jaejoong did something wrong that made Yoochun mad. Yoochun still loved him; Yoochun still loved him more than anyone else. It wasn’t something to worry about because things would go back to normal now. Jaejoong was paying more attention to his husband’s desires so Yoochun was not going to feel the need to go look for someone else.
Because that was the problem. It was not because Yoochun fell in love with someone else, no, that wasn’t it. That couldn’t be it. He knew it, he was sure.
But yet he was crying.
Unstoppable tears were falling down his cheeks.
He wanted to know. He needed to know who that person was, if there was anyone else. He didn’t have any proof, but his heart was telling him it all. Yoochun was telling him it all.
“I love you,” whispered Jaejoong on Yoochun’s ear.
The other man slightly opened his eyes. He was too sleepy to even notice his husband’s tears.
“I love you too,” he said without thinking.
Was he saying it because he felt it? Was he only saying it because of habit?
Yoochun just went back to sleep. And Jaejoong cried himself to sleep.
----------
Junsu walked back and forth inside his office, or more like Yoochun’s office. The latter haven’t talk with the boy the whole weekend and Junsu was getting worried because of that. Ok, yeah, he was mad at Yoochun but that didn’t mean that he wanted to avoid the other man.
“What are you doing here?”
“Chunnie,” shouted Junsu in happiness. “I missed you,” he said as he hugged the guy.
“Weren’t you mad at me? If I’m not mistaken you told me that I was a jerk and that you didn’t want me to talk to you.”
“Till you apologized. I didn’t say that you didn’t have to talk to me anymore,” pouted the boy.
“I haven’t apologized,” remained Yoochun.
“Right, do it now.”
Yoochun looked at the boy for a second. “I won’t do it. I don’t have a reason to apologize for.”
Junsu bit his lower lip. “Why are you so mean?”
“Junsu, I didn’t do anything wrong to you. I do not need to feel sorry for the things that happen between my spouse and me.”
The younger boy didn’t have anything to say about that. Yoochun was right but still he couldn’t help it.
----------
Jaejoong walked inside the store. He was there buying some things for him and his husband. Ok, yeah, he was at a sex toy store. You couldn’t blame or judge him, he didn’t know many ways to keep his husband satisfied and for instant faithful to only him.
There were some really weird things in there, but the lady was helping him, telling him how things work, and he just couldn’t help to blush thinking of Yoochun and he doing those things
“But with such a beautiful face and body is hard to believe that you are here, mister.”
Jaejoong looked at her. “Is it?”
“Well, normally young people do come here, but is usually in couples, you know,” she smirked.
“I see, I just want to give my husband a surprise.”
“I understand, what a lucky husband you have.”
“Thank you.”
----------
Yoochun and Jaejoong were in their house. It was already evening and the boys were having dinner, which Jaejoong have cooked as always.
“Maybe…” murmured Jaejoong making Yoochun looked up.
“Maybe?”
“I don’t know, I was just thinking of some things. We have been married for almost three years and I was just wondering when… you know,” Yoochun kept looking at the boy. He was really confused and didn’t know what Jaejoong was talking about. “When are we going to start a family?”
And that was enough to have Yoochun almost choke with the delicious banquette.
Jaejoong ran to him to give him some water and pat his back.
“Are you okay?” he asked worried.
Yoochun tried to breathe better. “Yeah… yeah, I’m fine, but… what did you just say?”
Jaejoong thought for a second. “That I want to start a family with you.”
“Aren’t we a family right now?”
“That’s not what I meant. I want to have kids, Yoochun!”
Yoochun knew that this conversation was going to come sooner or later. When he married Jaejoong he was eager to have a family. He wanted a baby girl so bad. A beautiful baby girl whom would look like her umma. It was fine if they had a baby boy, he would still be as beautiful as his umma.
But there was this person that changed all his plans. He just forgot about all those things that he wanted to do in the past. He just forgot about all the things that he has planned with Jaejoong, with their family.
“I know, honey. I also want to have kids with you, but I don’t think this is the right moment.”
“Why? What’s wrong with now, what’s wrong with having kids now? We have money, we have time. I don’t see the reason to not have a family at this moment.”
“I know, I know that, but I think we should plan it better.”
“Well, let’s plan it right now. “
Yoochun wanted to laugh at the irony. There was no doubt that both guys were brothers. They were the same in so many ways.
“Ok, let’s finish eating and then we can talk.”
Jaejoong sighed and nodded. Both of them sat back and began to eat again. By the moment it was really hard for Yoochun to do so, he wasn’t hungry anymore.
----------
Having kids, yes, he wanted to have kids. Yoochun sighed tiredly. He needed to stop all the madness.
With that goal set on his mind the boy walked inside Junsu’s apartment.
But he couldn’t do it. Not after been welcomed with that lovely smile. He loved him; he loved Junsu, didn’t he? And he also loved Jaejoong; he knew he was in love with Jaejoong, but…
“I made something really yummy for you,” said Junsu with the same childish smiled.
What was Junsu thinking? Junsu was honest and impulsive, yet he couldn’t see the truth behind those beautiful tear-drop-like eyes.
He didn’t answer and just sat down. Junsu looked at him with worried eyes, but Junsu knew better. Walking inside the kitchen the boy brought the food to the table.
“Are you going to the main house this weekend,” asked Junsu quietly. Yoochun nodded. “Good, there is something I want to tell you.”
“Why don’t you tell me now?”
“Not only you, but also my parents and… Jaejoong.”
Yoochun narrowed his eyes but at the end he only nodded once again.
---------
That Sunday everyone was in the dining table getting comfortable. Junsu was still missing but the boy had called saying that he’ll be a little bit late.
“You have to teach me how to make this, mom,” Jaejoong conversed with his mother about the good looking food sitting on the table.
Mrs. Kim smiled. “I will, I’m sure that with your skills the result will be terrific. I tell you, it’s not easy to make.”
Yoochun and Mr. Kim only looked at their spouses. The process of the food was something they didn’t care about, now the results of the food were the only thing that was important for them.
The bell rang. Junsu was finally there and for some strange reason Yoochun’s heart began to bit faster.
Chapter 7 A/N: Hi! were you surprise I didn't update last week? so I got injured at work, my right hand got trap between two metals and well... no broken bones if you are wondering.
Also, I know these chapters have been kind of boring, but bear with me just some more, I promise things will get better ;_;