Love's Sorrow Chapter 9
Title: Love's Sorrow
Author: aoi_jihyo
Length: 09/20
Pairing: Yoosu, Jaechun (slight)
Genre: Angst/Smut/Romance
Rating: R
Warning: Probable m-preg
Summary: Junsu was aware that the man was his brother-in-law. Yoochun wasn't his and he knew it. But Junsu's darkest side still wanted him, it desired him. It was a question of pride, wasn't it?
Wasn’t it?
Jaejoong walked inside his office tiredly. He hasn’t been sleeping nor eating properly. He didn’t want to be that way, but he couldn’t help it; it was just too hard to get use to the idea that his husband was having an affair. He did suspect it, but it was totally different knowing that it happens.
He looked at his reflection on the mirror. He was handsome, damn he was really good-looking. Everyone wanted him, and… he just couldn’t understand. Was he somehow not of Yoochun’s taste. But he married him. Maybe… maybe the other guy was more beautiful than him.
Really confused Jaejoong shook his head and went back to work.
But the thought of what could he do to keep Yoochun by his side never left his mind.
---------
Standing in front of the door, Yoochun thought constantly whether if being there was the right choice. Jaejoong had been acting really strange and he didn’t exactly knew the reason. Yes, there was a bitter taste in his mouth, like if something really bad was about to happen, but he wasn’t a person that would believe in superstitions or anything of that matter.
He knocked three times waiting for his husband’s voice to give him permission to enter. When he did, Yoochun smiled opening the door.
“Hey,” he exclaimed a little bit awkward.
Jaejoong smiled back, but his smile wasn’t a genially one, noticed Yoochun. “Hey, is there something wrong?” he asked not really knowing what to say.
“Nothing, I just wanted to come and say hi, is there something wrong with that?”
“No, obviously no, I was just wondering. You hardly leave your office so...”
“You are right, but I’m here. Come,” he patted the empty space on the couch where he was now sitting. Jaejoong hesitated for a moment, but he soon stood up and walked to Yoochun’s side. “I wanted to talk to you about something important.”
Jaejoong tilted his head to the side confused. “Was that?”
Yoochun bit his lower lip thinking exactly what he was about to say. He then sighed. “Be honest with me,” he said. But even he could feel the irony on his words. “Is there something bothering you? You have been acting really strange and I’m really worried.”
Jaejoong had to suppress a chuckle. “There is nothing bothering me, Yoochun.”
The other man knew that that was a lie, he knew Jaejoong since a long time ago. And he knew exactly when the boy was lying or telling the truth.
“Then, if nothing is wrong I have to scold you.”
“Scold me?”
“You haven’t been eating properly, you haven’t been taking care of your health and like I said, I’m worried about you.”
Jaejoong simply nodded. Yoochun was right in this one, and it actually made him happy, knowing that Yoochun was worried about him was really comforting.
---------
Some weeks had past. Jaejoong was feeling much better now. He came to the conclusion that the past was not going to change, but that he needed to make Yoochun fall in love with him once again. He did it once; he knew he was going to be able to do it twice. But then there was the other guy; he needed to know who he was so he could get rid of him.
Jaejoong chuckled thinking about his past thought, getting rid of him, it sounded too dramatic.
----------
Junsu was having a date with Youngjae that day. He wasn’t going to lie, he did like going out on dates once in a while. He couldn’t do it with Yoochun so being there was really pleasant. Youngjae was a really nice guy also, so needed to admit that it was nice to be with him, not like a boyfriend, but like a friend.
“Are you feeling better now?” asked Younjae with a smile. Junsu was devouring a cone of ice cream. “I thought you hated ice cream,” he said in a mocking tone.
“I LIED!”
“Yeah, I knew it.
Junsu felt ashamed for the way he acted before. But Youngjae was a nice person, and he was thankful for that.
“I’m sorry,” said Junsu.
Youngjae smiled. “Don’t worry.”
The two boys were too distracted to notice the two figures walking towards them.
“Junsu!” shouted one of the boys.
Junsu turned his head to the direction the voice was coming from, although he wished he didn’t.
“Jaejoong hyung… Yoochun hyung,” he acknowledged the two men’s presence.
Jaejoong smiled just as Youngjae. Junsu and Yoochun on the other hand were really uncomfortable trying to look at everything else but their eyes.
“Are you guys on a date?” asked the eldest. “Silly me, obviously you are. Yoochun and I came to have a date too, right, honey?”
All eyes landed on the guy mentioned before. “…yeah.”
And that was the way the two couples ended up sitting together on the same table at the restaurant of that amusement park. It was awkward; they all could feel it, but no one did anything or said anything about it.
“So how is your relationship, boys? Is nice seeing my little brother with someone since I was starting to think that it was kind of strange that he never went out on dates since I came to Korea.”
“Our relationship is going fine, Jaejoong hyung. Junsu is a really lovable person but a little bit arrogant. Don’t worry, I know the trick to control that part of him,” said Youngjae with a big smile on his face.
Junsu didn’t like the way the boy was talking about him, well, he didn’t like it only because Yoochun was right in front of him. But wait, wasn’t that what he wanted? To make Yoochun jealous, maybe this was his opportunity.
“I’m not arrogant, what are you talking about?” pouted the youngest cutely.
Everyone looked at him strangely. Junsu was a really cute boy, but it was strange from him to act this way in front of so many people. Yoochun was used to it; Junsu would always act that way with him to get all that the boy wanted.
“I’m just saying the truth. And knowing that Junsu haven’t date in a long time actually makes me quite happy.”
“Yeah.” Jaejoong suddenly began to laugh. “Just be careful, guys. Last time mom and I have to hear your moans when you were in your… things, you know?”
Everyone opened their eyes widely. Junsu wasn’t expecting his brother to blurt that out so sudden. Yoochun and Youngjae on the other hand were… too shocked. Youngjae was completely sure that Junsu and he never had sexual intercourse; not counting those times when Junsu would ask him to marked his body. He wasn’t stupid, he knew what that meant.
Yoochun on the other hand had to bit his lower lip to control his anger. He saw the hickeys on Junsu’s body, but thinking about it was making his blood boil.
“Did I say something wrong?” asked Jaejoong noticing the looks on everyone’s faces. “I know it might be weird to talk about these kinds of things, but we are brothers, and you are our partners, so there’s no need to feel uncomfortable.”
Youngjae sighed. “You are right, Jaejoong hyung. Well, I think we should get going, Junsu, we still have to go somewhere else.”
Junsu gulped. He didn’t want to be alone with Youngjae right now, it was just too intimidating. “Yeah, we have to go.” Still he stood up.
“We’ll see you later then,” smiled Jaejoong totally ignorant to the situation.
Once the boys were gone Yoochun and Jaejoong ate the resting food on their plates and decided to go watch a movie.
----------
Inside the car Youngjae and Junsu were in total silence. Junsu didn’t want to look at the other boy because he knew what the other was going to ask him. But well, not looking at him didn’t have any effect because Youngjae still asked him.
“You are meeting other guys?” he asked or was it a statement?
“No! No I… tha-that was…”
“You don’t have to lie to me, Junsu, I’m not stupid.”
Junsu didn’t have a reason to feel sorry. He didn’t even like Youngjae, but since the boy had been really nice to him it was hard for Junsu not to feel guilty. So he didn’t answered nor did he try to say anything else.
“Those times when you asked me to make those marks on your body… you wanted to make him jealous, didn’t you?”
Junsu didn’t answered that either.
He sighed. “I should have known.”
And the trip back home was death silence.
Soon they were in front of Junsu’s apartment. The latter was about to get out from the car but Youngjae’s voice stopped him.
“I don’t think we should see each other for some time.”
Junsu almost chucked at those words.
“You are breaking with me?” he asked. He didn’t ask in an arrogant way nor did he ask in a sad way, he simply needed to know.
“I guess I am. I don’t really know your reasons, and I’m sorry I can’t stay to hear them, but I really don’t feel good, I don’t want to see your face right now,” he smiled sadly. “I hope that things get better between him and you.”
Junsu stayed quiet and just as quiet he walked away from the car and to his house. He wanted to say something else. He wanted to thank Youngjae, but it was really hard, his voice was gone for a few minutes.
---------
Jaejoong and Yoochun got home some time before midnight. They both were a little bit tired so they decided to go to sleep already.
The eldest man was happy. It had been a really nice date, but he noticed the changed on Yoochun’s mood. He wasn’t sure why, but there was something bothering his husband.
Yoochun couldn’t sleep. There were so many thoughts in his head. He was feeling jealous, sure he was, but that wasn’t the reason for what he couldn’t sleep. He was really afraid. It was so weird, but there were those scary thoughts inside of him at the moment. First, the fear of losing Junsu, the boy was annoying, and sometimes Yoochun wanted to kill him, but… just, he didn’t want to lose him. And second, he was scared of that thought. He shouldn’t be feeling this way.
---------
Junsu hadn’t seen Youngjae in weeks already. He was feeling quite lonely, he was not going to lie about it, but Yoochun had come to visit him that day so he was fine now.
Junsu was really shocked when someone tried to open the main door; he was a little bit scared. The only person that had the keys was Yoochun and so even more astonishing the door had been opened by the latter.
“Is there something wrong?” Junsu asked still curious.
Yoochun was now sitting on the sofa watching the TV, laughing really often since running man was airing at the time. Junsu looked at him strangely but decided to sit beside him.
“Those guys are hilarious,” Yoochun laughed once again.
Junsu had to let it go because he was not getting any respond from Yoochun. He leaned on Yoochun’s shoulder and was really happy when Yoochun embraced him with one of his arms.
It was really nice he had to admit. Ever since he started dating Youngjae they didn’t have any of these moments. Well, Yoochun didn’t know yet that he had broke with the boy.
“Yoochun.”
“Mmm?”
“Youngjae and I,” the older man tensed. “We broke up some weeks ago; actually it was that night when we met you and Jaejoong hyung at amusement park.”
Unawarely to Junsu there was a brief smile on Yoochun’s face. “I see.”
“Yoochun.”
“Mmm?”
“I love you.”
Junsu looked at Yoochun this time. He wanted to see the reaction on the man’s face. There was none.
“I see.”
I see?
That was all Yoochun said.
I see.
Junsu wanted to shout at the man, he wanted him to tell him what he was feeling. Was he in love too? Did he hate him? He just wanted to know what Yoochun felt for him.
“Tell me,” he took enough courage to ask.
“Tell you what?”
“Do you love me too?”
Yoochun sighed turning off the TV. He looked at the boy’s eyes. Those beautiful eyes, he had to correct himself.
“Junsu… do we have to go through this again?”
Junsu bit his lip. “But… I want to know.”
“Why? What does it matter? I’m married to Jaejoong, your brother, and I love him very much. Nothing will change if I say that I love you or if I say that I don’t.”
Yoochun was right, yet Junsu still wanted to know. “But… if you love me, then… then we can…”
“Will you really do that to your brother?”
“I… I love my brother, but I also want to be happy, with you.”
Yoochun shook his head. “We cannot have all we want, Junsu. I’m tired of repeating the same thing. But if you want to know so badly then… I don’t love you, not that way. I have to admit that I have grown to like you, but that’s it. I married Jaejoong for a reason and that’s because I love him.”
Junsu couldn’t stop his tears from falling. He didn’t want Yoochun to see them, but it was just too hard to keep them inside of him.
He was just really glad that this time Yoochun actually stayed to clean them away.
Chapter 10
A/N: OMG, SUN! here's chapter 9 ^^ Today I had a day off *from my job* so I had time to clean my room and help my mom clean the house. Is early but I'm sleepy so I'll be brief. A girl told me that my writing style was hard to follow, I guess she is right, but she didn't tell me why ;_; I was thinking it might be because of the transition of time, yeah, that confuses me too, so I'll try to fix it, but if there is something else please tell me so I can work on it. Also, I can't believe I still don't have a beta, you people are so mean *pouts* jk, but I would appreciate the help from someone, especially since I have many more fics in mind already, obviously they'll come once this one is done and omg, I said I was going to be brief, kekeke, opps.
I'll see you later, guys, leave a comment, ne, because comments make me happy
Author: aoi_jihyo
Length: 09/20
Pairing: Yoosu, Jaechun (slight)
Genre: Angst/Smut/Romance
Rating: R
Warning: Probable m-preg
Summary: Junsu was aware that the man was his brother-in-law. Yoochun wasn't his and he knew it. But Junsu's darkest side still wanted him, it desired him. It was a question of pride, wasn't it?
Wasn’t it?
Jaejoong walked inside his office tiredly. He hasn’t been sleeping nor eating properly. He didn’t want to be that way, but he couldn’t help it; it was just too hard to get use to the idea that his husband was having an affair. He did suspect it, but it was totally different knowing that it happens.
He looked at his reflection on the mirror. He was handsome, damn he was really good-looking. Everyone wanted him, and… he just couldn’t understand. Was he somehow not of Yoochun’s taste. But he married him. Maybe… maybe the other guy was more beautiful than him.
Really confused Jaejoong shook his head and went back to work.
But the thought of what could he do to keep Yoochun by his side never left his mind.
---------
Standing in front of the door, Yoochun thought constantly whether if being there was the right choice. Jaejoong had been acting really strange and he didn’t exactly knew the reason. Yes, there was a bitter taste in his mouth, like if something really bad was about to happen, but he wasn’t a person that would believe in superstitions or anything of that matter.
He knocked three times waiting for his husband’s voice to give him permission to enter. When he did, Yoochun smiled opening the door.
“Hey,” he exclaimed a little bit awkward.
Jaejoong smiled back, but his smile wasn’t a genially one, noticed Yoochun. “Hey, is there something wrong?” he asked not really knowing what to say.
“Nothing, I just wanted to come and say hi, is there something wrong with that?”
“No, obviously no, I was just wondering. You hardly leave your office so...”
“You are right, but I’m here. Come,” he patted the empty space on the couch where he was now sitting. Jaejoong hesitated for a moment, but he soon stood up and walked to Yoochun’s side. “I wanted to talk to you about something important.”
Jaejoong tilted his head to the side confused. “Was that?”
Yoochun bit his lower lip thinking exactly what he was about to say. He then sighed. “Be honest with me,” he said. But even he could feel the irony on his words. “Is there something bothering you? You have been acting really strange and I’m really worried.”
Jaejoong had to suppress a chuckle. “There is nothing bothering me, Yoochun.”
The other man knew that that was a lie, he knew Jaejoong since a long time ago. And he knew exactly when the boy was lying or telling the truth.
“Then, if nothing is wrong I have to scold you.”
“Scold me?”
“You haven’t been eating properly, you haven’t been taking care of your health and like I said, I’m worried about you.”
Jaejoong simply nodded. Yoochun was right in this one, and it actually made him happy, knowing that Yoochun was worried about him was really comforting.
---------
Some weeks had past. Jaejoong was feeling much better now. He came to the conclusion that the past was not going to change, but that he needed to make Yoochun fall in love with him once again. He did it once; he knew he was going to be able to do it twice. But then there was the other guy; he needed to know who he was so he could get rid of him.
Jaejoong chuckled thinking about his past thought, getting rid of him, it sounded too dramatic.
----------
Junsu was having a date with Youngjae that day. He wasn’t going to lie, he did like going out on dates once in a while. He couldn’t do it with Yoochun so being there was really pleasant. Youngjae was a really nice guy also, so needed to admit that it was nice to be with him, not like a boyfriend, but like a friend.
“Are you feeling better now?” asked Younjae with a smile. Junsu was devouring a cone of ice cream. “I thought you hated ice cream,” he said in a mocking tone.
“I LIED!”
“Yeah, I knew it.
Junsu felt ashamed for the way he acted before. But Youngjae was a nice person, and he was thankful for that.
“I’m sorry,” said Junsu.
Youngjae smiled. “Don’t worry.”
The two boys were too distracted to notice the two figures walking towards them.
“Junsu!” shouted one of the boys.
Junsu turned his head to the direction the voice was coming from, although he wished he didn’t.
“Jaejoong hyung… Yoochun hyung,” he acknowledged the two men’s presence.
Jaejoong smiled just as Youngjae. Junsu and Yoochun on the other hand were really uncomfortable trying to look at everything else but their eyes.
“Are you guys on a date?” asked the eldest. “Silly me, obviously you are. Yoochun and I came to have a date too, right, honey?”
All eyes landed on the guy mentioned before. “…yeah.”
And that was the way the two couples ended up sitting together on the same table at the restaurant of that amusement park. It was awkward; they all could feel it, but no one did anything or said anything about it.
“So how is your relationship, boys? Is nice seeing my little brother with someone since I was starting to think that it was kind of strange that he never went out on dates since I came to Korea.”
“Our relationship is going fine, Jaejoong hyung. Junsu is a really lovable person but a little bit arrogant. Don’t worry, I know the trick to control that part of him,” said Youngjae with a big smile on his face.
Junsu didn’t like the way the boy was talking about him, well, he didn’t like it only because Yoochun was right in front of him. But wait, wasn’t that what he wanted? To make Yoochun jealous, maybe this was his opportunity.
“I’m not arrogant, what are you talking about?” pouted the youngest cutely.
Everyone looked at him strangely. Junsu was a really cute boy, but it was strange from him to act this way in front of so many people. Yoochun was used to it; Junsu would always act that way with him to get all that the boy wanted.
“I’m just saying the truth. And knowing that Junsu haven’t date in a long time actually makes me quite happy.”
“Yeah.” Jaejoong suddenly began to laugh. “Just be careful, guys. Last time mom and I have to hear your moans when you were in your… things, you know?”
Everyone opened their eyes widely. Junsu wasn’t expecting his brother to blurt that out so sudden. Yoochun and Youngjae on the other hand were… too shocked. Youngjae was completely sure that Junsu and he never had sexual intercourse; not counting those times when Junsu would ask him to marked his body. He wasn’t stupid, he knew what that meant.
Yoochun on the other hand had to bit his lower lip to control his anger. He saw the hickeys on Junsu’s body, but thinking about it was making his blood boil.
“Did I say something wrong?” asked Jaejoong noticing the looks on everyone’s faces. “I know it might be weird to talk about these kinds of things, but we are brothers, and you are our partners, so there’s no need to feel uncomfortable.”
Youngjae sighed. “You are right, Jaejoong hyung. Well, I think we should get going, Junsu, we still have to go somewhere else.”
Junsu gulped. He didn’t want to be alone with Youngjae right now, it was just too intimidating. “Yeah, we have to go.” Still he stood up.
“We’ll see you later then,” smiled Jaejoong totally ignorant to the situation.
Once the boys were gone Yoochun and Jaejoong ate the resting food on their plates and decided to go watch a movie.
----------
Inside the car Youngjae and Junsu were in total silence. Junsu didn’t want to look at the other boy because he knew what the other was going to ask him. But well, not looking at him didn’t have any effect because Youngjae still asked him.
“You are meeting other guys?” he asked or was it a statement?
“No! No I… tha-that was…”
“You don’t have to lie to me, Junsu, I’m not stupid.”
Junsu didn’t have a reason to feel sorry. He didn’t even like Youngjae, but since the boy had been really nice to him it was hard for Junsu not to feel guilty. So he didn’t answered nor did he try to say anything else.
“Those times when you asked me to make those marks on your body… you wanted to make him jealous, didn’t you?”
Junsu didn’t answered that either.
He sighed. “I should have known.”
And the trip back home was death silence.
Soon they were in front of Junsu’s apartment. The latter was about to get out from the car but Youngjae’s voice stopped him.
“I don’t think we should see each other for some time.”
Junsu almost chucked at those words.
“You are breaking with me?” he asked. He didn’t ask in an arrogant way nor did he ask in a sad way, he simply needed to know.
“I guess I am. I don’t really know your reasons, and I’m sorry I can’t stay to hear them, but I really don’t feel good, I don’t want to see your face right now,” he smiled sadly. “I hope that things get better between him and you.”
Junsu stayed quiet and just as quiet he walked away from the car and to his house. He wanted to say something else. He wanted to thank Youngjae, but it was really hard, his voice was gone for a few minutes.
---------
Jaejoong and Yoochun got home some time before midnight. They both were a little bit tired so they decided to go to sleep already.
The eldest man was happy. It had been a really nice date, but he noticed the changed on Yoochun’s mood. He wasn’t sure why, but there was something bothering his husband.
Yoochun couldn’t sleep. There were so many thoughts in his head. He was feeling jealous, sure he was, but that wasn’t the reason for what he couldn’t sleep. He was really afraid. It was so weird, but there were those scary thoughts inside of him at the moment. First, the fear of losing Junsu, the boy was annoying, and sometimes Yoochun wanted to kill him, but… just, he didn’t want to lose him. And second, he was scared of that thought. He shouldn’t be feeling this way.
---------
Junsu hadn’t seen Youngjae in weeks already. He was feeling quite lonely, he was not going to lie about it, but Yoochun had come to visit him that day so he was fine now.
Junsu was really shocked when someone tried to open the main door; he was a little bit scared. The only person that had the keys was Yoochun and so even more astonishing the door had been opened by the latter.
“Is there something wrong?” Junsu asked still curious.
Yoochun was now sitting on the sofa watching the TV, laughing really often since running man was airing at the time. Junsu looked at him strangely but decided to sit beside him.
“Those guys are hilarious,” Yoochun laughed once again.
Junsu had to let it go because he was not getting any respond from Yoochun. He leaned on Yoochun’s shoulder and was really happy when Yoochun embraced him with one of his arms.
It was really nice he had to admit. Ever since he started dating Youngjae they didn’t have any of these moments. Well, Yoochun didn’t know yet that he had broke with the boy.
“Yoochun.”
“Mmm?”
“Youngjae and I,” the older man tensed. “We broke up some weeks ago; actually it was that night when we met you and Jaejoong hyung at amusement park.”
Unawarely to Junsu there was a brief smile on Yoochun’s face. “I see.”
“Yoochun.”
“Mmm?”
“I love you.”
Junsu looked at Yoochun this time. He wanted to see the reaction on the man’s face. There was none.
“I see.”
I see?
That was all Yoochun said.
I see.
Junsu wanted to shout at the man, he wanted him to tell him what he was feeling. Was he in love too? Did he hate him? He just wanted to know what Yoochun felt for him.
“Tell me,” he took enough courage to ask.
“Tell you what?”
“Do you love me too?”
Yoochun sighed turning off the TV. He looked at the boy’s eyes. Those beautiful eyes, he had to correct himself.
“Junsu… do we have to go through this again?”
Junsu bit his lip. “But… I want to know.”
“Why? What does it matter? I’m married to Jaejoong, your brother, and I love him very much. Nothing will change if I say that I love you or if I say that I don’t.”
Yoochun was right, yet Junsu still wanted to know. “But… if you love me, then… then we can…”
“Will you really do that to your brother?”
“I… I love my brother, but I also want to be happy, with you.”
Yoochun shook his head. “We cannot have all we want, Junsu. I’m tired of repeating the same thing. But if you want to know so badly then… I don’t love you, not that way. I have to admit that I have grown to like you, but that’s it. I married Jaejoong for a reason and that’s because I love him.”
Junsu couldn’t stop his tears from falling. He didn’t want Yoochun to see them, but it was just too hard to keep them inside of him.
He was just really glad that this time Yoochun actually stayed to clean them away.
Chapter 10
A/N: OMG, SUN! here's chapter 9 ^^ Today I had a day off *from my job* so I had time to clean my room and help my mom clean the house. Is early but I'm sleepy so I'll be brief. A girl told me that my writing style was hard to follow, I guess she is right, but she didn't tell me why ;_; I was thinking it might be because of the transition of time, yeah, that confuses me too, so I'll try to fix it, but if there is something else please tell me so I can work on it. Also, I can't believe I still don't have a beta, you people are so mean *pouts* jk, but I would appreciate the help from someone, especially since I have many more fics in mind already, obviously they'll come once this one is done and omg, I said I was going to be brief, kekeke, opps.
I'll see you later, guys, leave a comment, ne, because comments make me happy