Can you see the future tears in my eyes?...waiting to be born...waiting for the fall...can you taste the pain in my tears? See the scars from my years without you? I can feel them fading...fading...I guess I'm just that kind of girl. A living breathing tragedy. If you want, you can stand by and watch me dying...If you please...you can catch my ( Read more... )

Hello! Its Four months for me and Laura today!Things are going so well lately. I spent the night at her house on friday. My mom actually let me. It makes me so happy that my mom is finally starting to give her a chance. Things are looking up. I knew everyhting would work out eventually. I really am taking this as a sign that me and Laura are meant ( Read more... )

Hello all. I am feeling so much better. Me and Laura are doing great. I'm a little worried that she's going away to school to get her GED for like five months...but I don't think that'll be for a while so I'm not gonna worry about it. We've been talking about alot of things and we've worked out all of the problems we had. Lately it seems we can't ( Read more... )

Happy New Year everyone. Great. How exciting. A whole new year to screw things up in. Another flaw to add to my resume. Optimistic aren't I? So me and Laura got in a little fight on New Years Eve. I called her and she was depressed, or having a bad day or something. Jessica was staying for the weekend and when I told her that she got a little ( Read more... )

I went to see a therapist today. Another. A therapist who has more mental deseases than I do.The tables turn and I end up diagnosing her. She just about sent me away. She gave me more suicide hotline numbers than any person could possibly have the patience to choose from while contemplating their own death. Ironic, is it not? I feel lonely. I wish ( Read more... )

Ashley. False hope. False false hope. Stupid trust. Misplaced trust. Untamed heart with its unstoppable love. Its unceasing love that goes punished and punished and punished... She's engaged. Her ex girlfriend proposed to her. Why does that make me angry? We arent together...I'm with Laura. Well she happens to be just like me. She'd rather make ( Read more... )

Ahhh...sweet sweet confusion. How I know thee so well. Old friend, stranger. Cataclysmic thoughts of self destruction. I've regained a steady rock on which I used to lean. Careful not to become dependant again. Careful now. But I smile so sweetly at the thought of something I held dear now being within my grasp again. I take it for granted. I'll ( Read more... )

Pain. Such a meaningless word compared to what it implies. Honestly. It gives you such a small, barely existant glimpse of the emotion it supposedly represents. And it describes me so well right now. The best word for what Im feeling emotionally and physically, probably. But it leaves SO MUCH unfulfilled, unaccounted for. I'm not satisfied with ( Read more... )

Well I haven't written in SO long and so many things have happened. One of my very best friends went away for a while. It was sad. It really was. But she came back just the other day and when we found out she was in the office we stampeded it. It was crazy. And shes doing so much better now. I made a new friend. Her name is Ashley, and we have a ( Read more... )

Damn. So much shits happening. Some really close friends of mine who go to North have been talking about me behind my back. I found this out from my Cousin Angel who goes there. Fucking two faced backstabbers! Liars! I cant believe it. And some of the things they're saying! I trusted these people! I really did. People wonder why I get distant, why ( Read more... )