Dream

[aphistanaibios]

The dream I had last night was a slap in the face once I woke up. I had had another baby. We hadn't even named him yet. I remember him looking exactly like Alice (not that I ever even saw him in the dream, it was just something I had mentioned.) I went to work the next day and had forgotten all about him. About how, with newborns, they need to be

Comments

[btani]

aw hon, I am sooo sorry you are having dreams like this - it does seem to be connected to your feelings about your loss, your vulnerability - dont be sooo hard on yourself. It is normal I think - but do be aware of any panic or anxiety attacks because those are a sign that you may have post traumatic stress - anger is normal now too - but if you feel you cant function normally for too long - maybe a little help would be good - there is no loss that compares to a mother losing a child because your whole body is chemically prepared, and your whole heart is prepared for that child.... i think I made things soo much worse for myself when I was grieving by being sooo hard on myself and not understanding the full grip of such a loss

[aphistanaibios]

Thank you. I needed to be told exactly what you said. I think I just get worked up, caught in my own thoughts. The reminder that I'm not alone is appreciated.

[kristian_angel]

I know that there is no set amount of time to recover from your loss. You can't say, "If I don't get over this in 2 years, I'm not normal." Give yourself all the time you need. If you want to make it a "big deal," like to Clint or other people you love and trust, do it and don't feel bad about it. It is a big deal. When you told me about it, I didn't think of it as some scientific medical complication that would be solved with surgery and some recovery time. I thought of it as you losing a baby. I cried for you. Allow yourself to treat the situation for what it is. Some people are going to look at you and assume your loss was no bigger than having a period... stay away from those people while you grieve. They can't begin to understand what you are going through.

And like your friend said, don't beat yourself up. No amount of money or willpower could have changed your situation. You did everything right. You didn't do anything wrong.

[aphistanaibios]

Thanks, friend. I think that I can occassionally come off as if I'm throwing a pity-party for myself. Atleast I feel justified in how I feel and act, even though I'm definitely not searching for sympathy. You get my point, I'm sure. *hugs*

[kristian_angel]

It's not a pity party.

1) You aren't looking for pity. Just support.

2) Parties are fun.

[kristian_angel]

*HUGS*