I am at the office all alone. There are usually three or four of us here. Myself, Uncle Greg, Aunt Rhonda and occasionally Kelly. Greg had kidney failure and was in the hospital most of last week. We still have no definitive answer for what went wrong, he's a really healthy guy. He's not better, not by a long shot. But he was so fed up with having ( Read more... )

My stomach never even had the chance to alter the temperature of the water before it was forced out again. After all of the stupid, drunken nights and early morning hangovers...after all of the days spent hunched over a toilet, a sink, a trash can, a plastic bag when I was pregnant. And I'm still no expert at vomitting. My mother used to tell me I ( Read more... )

Man, has work been inSANE. I wish it was easier to explain all the things I have to do there..but everything is so complicated (not to mention excrutiatingly boring to describe.) We receive assignments from a variety of different insurance companies by a multitude of methods...fax, e-mail, Autoverse, over the phone. Depending on which company sends ( Read more... )

The dream I had last night was a slap in the face once I woke up. I had had another baby. We hadn't even named him yet. I remember him looking exactly like Alice (not that I ever even saw him in the dream, it was just something I had mentioned.) I went to work the next day and had forgotten all about him. About how, with newborns, they need to be ( Read more... )

Trying to stifle the void has only made it grow
Abrogation has yet to lead to annihilation
What could possibly justify
Holding on this long
When I am no longer locked in
The throes of agony?

Now my medical bill is down to a manageable amount of around $4,000. Much better than 10.

The weekend is over...and I hardly remember any of it. I didn't do anything to hinder my recollection, like drink. No, quite the opposite. I practically did nothing. How disappointing. I need to learn how to cherish those long-awaited breaks.

Time for a

Quick update ( Read more... )

Just to let you know...I'm NOT better. I don't feel good. As my wounds and bruises heal, I feel a sense of sadness. Longing to keep this here. As if I'll forget if not physically reminded of what happened. My baby doesn't deserve to be forgotten. I'm holding on to the last vestiges of pregnancy. They didn't even have enough time to grow a heart. ( Read more... )

My appointment was at 9:40, with Dr. Bratteli. He ordered an ultrasound and bloodwork for me-so I had to drive to the Pavillion to have those performed. My ultrasound tech was probably just going through the same old motions of her job, but she was very short with me and I got nervous. She said nothing the whole time about what she saw on the ( Read more... )

MOTHERFUCKER ( Read more... )