factory - barely survived end of the year, picked up a bit in the spring but still stressful, lost more people and manager increasingly volatile. tried to quit in April but was convinced to stay, focusing more on inspection and less machining. had burnout get much worse in May and threatened to fire me by july, laid off end of august. imposter ( Read more... )

factory slowed down over the summer but grateful for the part time hours balancing the California house and tenant. go figure as soon as i really get the confidence in starting a career it begins to unravel months later. had not managed to find regular piano, and planned to move as of the spring; one goal has been achieved this year=upgrading ( Read more... )

Post-Hike Poem for Mike ( Read more... )

$50. That’’s how much i spent to send you some things i’d been collecting and holding onto for years because i thought you could use them. Nevermind that i hadnt heard back, didn’t know i was blocked, and the last time i was mentioned you had thanked me for supporting you in a video.  The least you owe me is an explanation; how the hell do you not ( Read more... )

the chances were low, but I needed the money  to start saving so the move planning could become serious. did the night shift thing for the first time in 13 years; tried manufacturing plant work but overwhelmed by the intricacy of moving parts and annoying inconsequential details documenting, also giant corporate environment not really my thing. ( Read more... )

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"we are a glittering piece of hail that has fallen and been swept up; you caught me as we thrashed about the stormcloud and only now am I overwhelmed with the acknowledgement of Gravity."~August 25, 2011 ( Read more... )

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California feels like a show gone on too many seasons; like I should have left set back in 2018 if possible.  (I did not want to do a spin-off but stuck here because can't sell the house while owing years of taxes from past tennants being abusive jerks.) Attempting work definitely felt like it would realistically always be out of reach; library ( Read more... )