Comments | apostate_96: It Goes On And On

apostate_96

It Goes On And On

Apr 10, 2011 22:39

This has been an exhuasting week. Got a lot of stuff done, but Lord a'mightly it's taken its toll. The easiest was probably getting Ariel's car sold. I'd been stressing about doing it myself, getting it listed in the local paper/TV station want ads, getting it re-registered so it could be taken for a test drive (which'd also mean getting it ( Read more... )

Comments 10

i_am_pondering April 11 2011, 10:46:37 UTC

Have you tried talking to your mortgage company to see if you can get a loan modification? It could lower your payments significantly, like $900 a month. That is if you want to stay in the house. Just something I wasn't sure if you'd checked out. With the circumstances I think you'd be eligible.*hug*

apostate_96 April 12 2011, 05:24:22 UTC

Not yet. It might be worth checking into. If I could even get the payment lowered $400, it'd be workable to be here longer.

On the other hand, though, I'm not sure that just getting out of here might not be a better way to go. Even with all of her stuff out of here, I'm not sure that there wouldn't be too much of a reminder just from being here.

That's the real bitch about dealing with this. There's a helluva lot where I just don't know.

i_am_pondering April 12 2011, 10:42:33 UTC

Getting a new start elsewhere would hold fewer memories, very true. Hopefully you can sell the house for a good price and not be in the red. I do know if you do a modification it pings your credit but not as bad as a short sale or foreclosure. I'm not sure what the financials are on your end, but thought it may be worth mentioning if you wanted to stay. *hug*

apostate_96 April 16 2011, 19:19:44 UTC

Thanks. At this point, I really don't give a flying fuck about my credit. That might come back to bite me in the ass later. However, for now I'm more needing to just get through all of this so I can get on my feet again.

I really do hope you write that letter to the Chief... gythiawulfie April 11 2011, 12:41:54 UTC

They do need to hear things like that. I did not realize you were going to sell the house and you were also having those issues on top of everything else... that is just, crushing.

Make sure when all this is said and done, you treat yourself to something nice, and don't feel guilty about doing it. You'll need to do it for you.

Re: I really do hope you write that letter to the Chief... apostate_96 April 12 2011, 05:16:35 UTC

Absolutely agreed. Working homicide just can't be a job where there's a lot of thanks or praise or appreciation from folks. I can't see how the Hell anyone could keep dealing with that stuff.

Yeah, gotta sell the house. I just can't afford to keep it myself. Besides, I'm coming to see that it'd just be reminders of her, too. But losing my wife and home in the same year....yeah, this isn't going to go down as a happy year.

I'm not sure how or where things'll be once it's all done. When I get there, though, I'll definitely keep in mind the idea of doing something for myself. No idea what it'll be, but I think you're right about that.

(The comment has been removed)

apostate_96 April 16 2011, 19:18:31 UTC

I'm not a fan of burning books, either. In this case, though, I'll make the exception. I know there's plenty more copies out there, but at least THESE won't play a part in anyone else's death.

I'm not sure if I'll be staying or not. I'm figuring this is enough upheaval for one year. Once I'm settled, I'll start the clock for a year. When it rings, then I figure I'll look at where I want to be.

spaceoperadiva April 12 2011, 16:01:33 UTC

If you decide selling will be in your best interest and if you need help getting the house ready for sale, let me know. I'm sure you have people closer who can help, but we're veterans of the fixer upper wars. The offer is there in the unlikely case that you need it.

I can see where moving could be very cathartic. It's also very stressful, especially if you've lived in the place for any length of time. We inevitably have more belongings than we think we do and stuff to do for the sale crop up at inconvenient moments. If you can do some sort of refinance and buy yourself a little time, it might be better. And sometimes just rearranging the furniture can change the look of a place enough to make you feel less haunted in it.

kk, enough with the pushy advice from me! I'm glad of the updates and sorry that you've continued to have so much nightmare to live through. I pray for morning for you soon.

apostate_96 April 16 2011, 17:25:15 UTC

Thanks, I appreciate it. When the time comes to make the decision and there's more info about being able to stay a bit longer with a refinance or just putting it up for a short sell, I'll let you know. Right now, it's just getting her stuff sorted through and disposed of....however that plays out.

Yeah, I can see it as being both cathertic and stressful. I figure this will NOT go down as a happy year, losing both my wife and (if it plays out that way) my home. Still, I think it'll be good, once it's decided, to at least know where things are going. Uncertainty/ambiguity on top of the rest of all this just sucks.

zoethe April 24 2011, 22:03:11 UTC

If there is any way you can comfortably stay in the house for a year, I highly recommend that you do so. Not that you will necessarily want to stay in the house, but this is a very bad time to be making any irretrievable changes. You have a lot of grieving to go through, and it will color your decisions.