A New Season
Pairing: Ryoda
Rating: PG for some language
Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine.
Summary: Sometimes, you just need to put the past behind you.
Author's Notes: My entry for je_ficgames, based on TOKIO's " Southend (Acoustic Version)." Thanks again to luciene and soundistrict for listening to me whine and complain and bash my head against the desk for half a year. There cannot be enough ♥s in the world to cover how awesome you both are, ne.
Ryo huddled under his cap in the lobby of the theater. Should he go? He hesitated and looked at the ticket in his hand, wrinkled and crumpled from the time it's spent in his clenched fist.
September 21.
It was the last day. Possibly the last chance he'd have for a very long time. "Happy Birthday" promotions were coming up, and then there was "Musekinin Hero" right after that, drama shooting, and then the tour. That wasn't even counting what KAT-TUN had on their schedule. They'd both be all over the place, and there wouldn't really be time to stop until maybe Countdown, but everyone would be around during Countdown, and the whole point of waiting had been to talk to him alone, in private.
But on the other hand… On the other hand, they'd see each other every week in about two months. He'd already waited for so long. Two months wouldn't really matter, would it…? And what was he going to say, anyway, if he did decide to just drop by and visit? Ryo still had no idea what he really wanted at all, and wasn't it fair to figure himself out first before saying something potentially dangerous?
Ah, fuck this.
He squared his shoulders and headed resolutely backstage to where he knew the dressing rooms would be. Don't be a chickenshit, he told himself sternly. He'd already managed to talk himself out of saying anything for, for more than a year, he suddenly realized, and that… That was just pathetic.
-
After Ueda had shown up on his doorstep last August and handed him a copy of the original lyrics for "Ai no Hana," Ryo had taken some time to do a bit of soul searching. Or. Heart searching. Whatever. The point was, he'd thought a lot about how he was feeling because, if he was perfectly honest with himself, he'd never let go at all. There was a long time when he'd been furious and bitter, but that didn't change the fact that those years they'd spent together had been some of the happiest in his life.
In the end, Ueda had been his first real love, and a part of him-a big part of him-wouldn't mind it if Ueda were his last love, too.
-
"Otsukaresama deshita!" a familiar voice called out, and Ryo paused with his hand on the door as a loud burst of cheering and clapping followed.
Of course. Of course, today was the last show, so naturally, Ueda was probably spending some time with the staff and performers. Maybe this was a bad time?
Ryo bit his lip. Maybe… Maybe he should just wait until Countdown. Holding a solo concert was a big deal, and obviously, he'd gotten very close to his band, and they'd all put on a spectacular show, and now they'd want to celebrate. It made sense, and he should've foreseen it. It'd be rude to intrude, and if it didn't go well, he didn't want to ruin Ueda's day or whatever because the concert had been really good, and he deserved to be proud of it
But then the door suddenly swung open, and a sweaty Ueda was staring back at him, towel around his neck, surprise reflected on his face.
"Nishikido-kun?"
"Um," Ryo said coherently. "Hi."
Ueda blinked at him, polite and uneasy. "I… I didn't know you were coming."
"Yeah! Yeah, I got a ticket for the, the um, concert. And I saw it. It was really good!" Ryo flushed at his own babbling. Why could he never be cool when the situation actually called for it? Why? "You were… You were really good."
"Oh. Er. Thank you."
An uncomfortable silence settled around them, and Ryo fidgeted. He knew this would happen, he knew, clearly he should've planned something to say or do or. Just. Something that wasn't standing around lamely in the middle of the hallway.
At least he hadn't said anything really offensive. Yet.
"So…" He stuck his hands in his pockets to keep them from shaking. Or to keep Ueda from noticing that they were shaking, in any case. "I was just wondering if you maybe wanted to go for dinner? Or coffee? With me, I mean."
Somehow, he felt like he had to be living in a romantic comedy or something because this was not how this scene was supposed to play out. Seeing Ueda's face was not supposed to make him this nervous, not when he'd seen Ueda naked and been with him in the most intimate ways that counted. Not when he was sure he was still in love, somehow, despite everything.
"Oh! Oh, um. We were. Actually, we were going to have a cast party…" Ueda furrowed his brow uncertainly, looking genuinely regretful. "Do you want to join us…?"
"No, no, it's fine," Ryo said hurriedly. That would be awkward beyond words, even if Kamenashi wouldn't be there to glare down his neck from across the room. "I just wanted to, um, drop by and congratulate you. You know. On the show. Uh. Some other time, then, I guess?"
Ueda smiled at him, gentle and bright, making his heart swell with happiness even though this venture had kind of been a failure. "Yeah. That'd be great."
Ryo smiled back, unable to help it. "Okay. Okay, great. Have fun! And that really was an amazing show."
"Thanks."
"See you later, then." Ryo turned on his heel as Ueda waved goodbye and started heading back out. He let out a deep breath, half for his still shaky nerves, half in relief. That hadn't gone nearly as bad as he thought it would.
-
Three days later, he was in the jimusho parking lot about to unlock his car when his cell phone vibrated, and he looked to see a message from a "mousepeace@docomo.ne.jp." Ryo grinned. Technically, he didn't know the address, but he had his suspicions.
Hi~~
I have some time tomorrow afternoon, if
you still want to go for that coffee.
P. S. I got your mail from Jin, I hope you
don't mind.
He quickly considered his own schedule before replying.
Don't mind.
I've got some time around 2, if that's okay.
We could meet at that place around the corner
from Ueno Park.
The answer was almost instantaneous.
Ah, that one with the blue awning, right?
Ryo dug around his photo album until he found the one he'd taken of Shige making stupid faces outside the café last time they'd gone with Pi.
Okay
See you then~
It took a lot of self-restraint to keep from running up and down the parking garage in sheer elation. There were security cameras, he reminded himself.
It wasn't even a date, just coffee between colleagues, but it felt like a date. He couldn't stop the laughter that bubbled out of him as soon as he got into the driver's seat.
Today was the best day ever.
-
Ryo wasn't sure when everything had changed between them. Even though it was impossible, he felt like he could remember every detail if he wanted to, from the first time Ueda had leaned forward in the studio storage closet with that amused look on his face and kissed him to the last time, the image of him sitting in a mess of sheets and covers, refusing to look at Ryo as he walked away.
But he did know, on this long timeline of mental snapshots, the exact moment he'd decided that this was it, when he'd stopped questioning his own feelings and accepted them as fact. It wasn't anything big or dramatic, and to be honest, it was actually kind of embarrassing in a completely sappy and girly way, but there was this one time. They'd been at this hotel by the sea in Chiba, and Ueda had gotten up to admire the soft, crashing waves outside and the mountains in the distance. He'd stood with his head tilted away, expression peaceful and melancholy and wondrous all at once, the moonlight tipping his eyelashes white, a blanket wrapped around a thin, boyish frame and graceful collarbones, and Ueda probably never knew it, but Ryo hadn't been able to stop looking. Part of him had wanted to get up and hold him and chase the loneliness away from his eyes, but he couldn't even bring himself to move.
From the next day on, that feeling he had, that deep sense of settled tranquility, so sweet it almost hurt to feel; that was how he defined eternity.
-
Ryo got to the café an hour before they were supposed to meet in the hopes of getting some work done, but he ended up staring into space for about half of it.
How would this go? he wondered as he reread the same line eight times. It was the same question he'd asked himself before, the same one he felt like he'd been asking from the very beginning. Where were they going?
He wanted a second chance; he knew that. But somehow, he couldn't ignore the terror that they would fuck it up again, that he would fuck it up. Because no matter how he looked at it, the last fantastic crash and burn had really mostly been his fault for being ignorant and presumptive and for never asking. More than anything else, he needed for this to succeed because no one else had ever made him feel like this, either before or since, and it kind of felt like a house of cards where if he wasn't careful enough, everything would break apart and come falling down around his ears again.
Realistically speaking, he knew that he was probably being too melodramatic, but he just never, ever wanted to be in that situation again. Not with anyone, and especially not with Ueda.
-
"Hey!" He glanced up to find Ueda smiling and waving at him from the doorway, looking windblown and a bit pink around the cheeks, the entrance bell's ringing still echoing in his footsteps.
"Hi," Ryo greeted back, scrambling to clean off the tabletop so that Ueda could sit down. He was wearing some kind of long knit sweater thing that made him look like a doll, a pair of big idol shades perched on his face.
Ryo considered asking him why he needed sunglasses in late September but decided-wisely, he thought-to refrain from commenting.
He waited until Ueda was done ordering a mocha cappuccino (which he also didn't comment on; Ryo patted himself on the back) before clearing his throat. "So… How are you?"
"Good." Ueda curled his hands carefully around the hot cup of coffee before him and blew on it, mussed red hair hanging in his eyes. "I have some time off to recover from the concert, so I'm enjoying that. How about you? Your new drama is starting soon, right?"
"Yeah. I was," Ryo licked his lips. "I was just going over the script. It's an interesting story. You should watch it."
Ueda laughed, sounding a million times more relaxed than he used to, than Ryo felt now. "Ah, okay."
Then there was that stiff silence as they came to a conversational impasse, and Ryo wondered if he could find a manual anywhere on How to Talk to People Like a Normal Person. Usually, he just made fun of them until they became friends, but the last time he'd tried that on Ueda...
And Ryo didn't really want to make fun of him now, anyway, because Ueda'd kind of bloomed into a respectable musician, and that was. You know. Respectable.
He cleared his throat again and took a sip of his own rapidly cooling drink. "Um… You wrote new lyrics. For your song."
"Hmm?" Surprise flitted across Ueda's face for a moment before he understood what Ryo was talking about, and his expression grew shuttered and guarded. "Oh. Yeah, that… Well, I mean. I meant it when I said that those words had been for your eyes only. I couldn't have..." He made a vague gesture, but Ryo got the meaning.
Even writing idol pop songs got too personal sometimes. He could never do it himself, writing his pain into words and sharing it with a billion fangirls who wouldn't understand where it was coming from. Singing happiness was easier.
"I liked it," he said quietly. "Both versions. I..." Ryo stopped, staring hard at the painted wood grains on the table. "I meant what I said, too. You… meant a lot to me."
He took a deep breath and looked at Ueda carefully, deliberately. "You still do."
For a long moment, Ryo's heart hung in his throat, and he watched Ueda's blank features, hoping for. He didn't even know. Some kind of change, a smile, a blush, just something to let him know what Ueda was thinking or feeling.
He didn't expect Ueda to suddenly burst out laughing.
"We," he wheezed through mouthfuls of giggles. "We are so lame." He laughed even harder when he saw Ryo's slack-jawed confusion and had to bury his face in his hands in an effort to calm down, shoulders shaking and twitching with mirth.
"H-Hey!" Ryo glowered indignantly, anxiety and self-control out the window. This was the last time he ever thought about being nice. Who the hell did this guy think he was?! "Don't laugh at me when I'm confessing to you!"
"I'm not, I'm not," Ueda reassured him hurriedly, but the evidence wasn't very convincing. "It's just. God. I've been waiting to hear that for five years."
Ryo didn't really know what to say to that.
Ueda wiped some tears away, but neither of them was sure if they were from laughter or something else.
"We are such a mess, Nishikido."
Ryo frowned. "…Is that a yes, then?"
"A yes?" Ueda asked, perplexed. "To what?"
"Do you accept my confession?" Ryo demanded crossly. Maybe he should think about taking it back. Obviously, in the midst of his own romantic daydreams, he'd completely forgotten about Ueda's annoying side. His really annoying side.
But when Ueda didn't reply immediately, Ryo grew nervous again. He hadn't actually meant it about taking anything back.
"Will we just end up like before, do you think?" Ueda murmured finally, hunching forward in insecurity. He stared at Ryo with wide, imploring eyes, as if he desperately wanted the answer to be no, and if Ryo told him that, he'd believe it.
Ryo opened his mouth, then closed it again. "I don't know," he answered, the truth leaving an ugly metallic aftertaste on his tongue. "But I want to try, if you're willing to."
When Ueda still looked doubtful, Ryo surged on, suddenly inspired. "Besides, that kind of situation would be kind of hard to recreate, anyway." He reached forward with one hand, the tips of his fingers just brushing Ueda's. Almost but not quite. "And haven't we gotten older?"
And that was true, too, he realized. They had both changed. Ryo wasn't the sullen, arrogant teenager he used to be, and Ueda was actually kind of normal now. He didn't know what that meant for them, but maybe it could be a clean slate, a new beginning. Maybe they could let go without letting go.
Ueda smiled at that and ducked his head in agreement. "We were really stupid back then, ne." He paused. "But you're right. Back then should just be back then. Yoshi!"
Before Ryo could react, Ueda had put his hand on top of his own and was looking at him, determination shining in his eyes.
"Nishikido Ryo," he said with the air of someone making an official announcement. "I really like you~"
He started laughing again when Ryo gave him a blank look back, too shocked to respond.
"That's a yes, by the way," he added, in case Ryo wanted to know.
I am really ambivalent about this fic. :| There are parts I really like and parts I really hate. It's not what I'd planned on writing for je_ficgames at all since that idea exploded in my face. [should know better by now] As I told maya_morning, I ended up kind of pinch-hitting for myself, and... Well. This is what came out, ne. XD [so lame]
Rating: PG for some language
Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine.
Summary: Sometimes, you just need to put the past behind you.
Author's Notes: My entry for je_ficgames, based on TOKIO's " Southend (Acoustic Version)." Thanks again to luciene and soundistrict for listening to me whine and complain and bash my head against the desk for half a year. There cannot be enough ♥s in the world to cover how awesome you both are, ne.
Ryo huddled under his cap in the lobby of the theater. Should he go? He hesitated and looked at the ticket in his hand, wrinkled and crumpled from the time it's spent in his clenched fist.
September 21.
It was the last day. Possibly the last chance he'd have for a very long time. "Happy Birthday" promotions were coming up, and then there was "Musekinin Hero" right after that, drama shooting, and then the tour. That wasn't even counting what KAT-TUN had on their schedule. They'd both be all over the place, and there wouldn't really be time to stop until maybe Countdown, but everyone would be around during Countdown, and the whole point of waiting had been to talk to him alone, in private.
But on the other hand… On the other hand, they'd see each other every week in about two months. He'd already waited for so long. Two months wouldn't really matter, would it…? And what was he going to say, anyway, if he did decide to just drop by and visit? Ryo still had no idea what he really wanted at all, and wasn't it fair to figure himself out first before saying something potentially dangerous?
Ah, fuck this.
He squared his shoulders and headed resolutely backstage to where he knew the dressing rooms would be. Don't be a chickenshit, he told himself sternly. He'd already managed to talk himself out of saying anything for, for more than a year, he suddenly realized, and that… That was just pathetic.
-
After Ueda had shown up on his doorstep last August and handed him a copy of the original lyrics for "Ai no Hana," Ryo had taken some time to do a bit of soul searching. Or. Heart searching. Whatever. The point was, he'd thought a lot about how he was feeling because, if he was perfectly honest with himself, he'd never let go at all. There was a long time when he'd been furious and bitter, but that didn't change the fact that those years they'd spent together had been some of the happiest in his life.
In the end, Ueda had been his first real love, and a part of him-a big part of him-wouldn't mind it if Ueda were his last love, too.
-
"Otsukaresama deshita!" a familiar voice called out, and Ryo paused with his hand on the door as a loud burst of cheering and clapping followed.
Of course. Of course, today was the last show, so naturally, Ueda was probably spending some time with the staff and performers. Maybe this was a bad time?
Ryo bit his lip. Maybe… Maybe he should just wait until Countdown. Holding a solo concert was a big deal, and obviously, he'd gotten very close to his band, and they'd all put on a spectacular show, and now they'd want to celebrate. It made sense, and he should've foreseen it. It'd be rude to intrude, and if it didn't go well, he didn't want to ruin Ueda's day or whatever because the concert had been really good, and he deserved to be proud of it
But then the door suddenly swung open, and a sweaty Ueda was staring back at him, towel around his neck, surprise reflected on his face.
"Nishikido-kun?"
"Um," Ryo said coherently. "Hi."
Ueda blinked at him, polite and uneasy. "I… I didn't know you were coming."
"Yeah! Yeah, I got a ticket for the, the um, concert. And I saw it. It was really good!" Ryo flushed at his own babbling. Why could he never be cool when the situation actually called for it? Why? "You were… You were really good."
"Oh. Er. Thank you."
An uncomfortable silence settled around them, and Ryo fidgeted. He knew this would happen, he knew, clearly he should've planned something to say or do or. Just. Something that wasn't standing around lamely in the middle of the hallway.
At least he hadn't said anything really offensive. Yet.
"So…" He stuck his hands in his pockets to keep them from shaking. Or to keep Ueda from noticing that they were shaking, in any case. "I was just wondering if you maybe wanted to go for dinner? Or coffee? With me, I mean."
Somehow, he felt like he had to be living in a romantic comedy or something because this was not how this scene was supposed to play out. Seeing Ueda's face was not supposed to make him this nervous, not when he'd seen Ueda naked and been with him in the most intimate ways that counted. Not when he was sure he was still in love, somehow, despite everything.
"Oh! Oh, um. We were. Actually, we were going to have a cast party…" Ueda furrowed his brow uncertainly, looking genuinely regretful. "Do you want to join us…?"
"No, no, it's fine," Ryo said hurriedly. That would be awkward beyond words, even if Kamenashi wouldn't be there to glare down his neck from across the room. "I just wanted to, um, drop by and congratulate you. You know. On the show. Uh. Some other time, then, I guess?"
Ueda smiled at him, gentle and bright, making his heart swell with happiness even though this venture had kind of been a failure. "Yeah. That'd be great."
Ryo smiled back, unable to help it. "Okay. Okay, great. Have fun! And that really was an amazing show."
"Thanks."
"See you later, then." Ryo turned on his heel as Ueda waved goodbye and started heading back out. He let out a deep breath, half for his still shaky nerves, half in relief. That hadn't gone nearly as bad as he thought it would.
-
Three days later, he was in the jimusho parking lot about to unlock his car when his cell phone vibrated, and he looked to see a message from a "mousepeace@docomo.ne.jp." Ryo grinned. Technically, he didn't know the address, but he had his suspicions.
Hi~~
I have some time tomorrow afternoon, if
you still want to go for that coffee.
P. S. I got your mail from Jin, I hope you
don't mind.
He quickly considered his own schedule before replying.
Don't mind.
I've got some time around 2, if that's okay.
We could meet at that place around the corner
from Ueno Park.
The answer was almost instantaneous.
Ah, that one with the blue awning, right?
Ryo dug around his photo album until he found the one he'd taken of Shige making stupid faces outside the café last time they'd gone with Pi.
Okay
See you then~
It took a lot of self-restraint to keep from running up and down the parking garage in sheer elation. There were security cameras, he reminded himself.
It wasn't even a date, just coffee between colleagues, but it felt like a date. He couldn't stop the laughter that bubbled out of him as soon as he got into the driver's seat.
Today was the best day ever.
-
Ryo wasn't sure when everything had changed between them. Even though it was impossible, he felt like he could remember every detail if he wanted to, from the first time Ueda had leaned forward in the studio storage closet with that amused look on his face and kissed him to the last time, the image of him sitting in a mess of sheets and covers, refusing to look at Ryo as he walked away.
But he did know, on this long timeline of mental snapshots, the exact moment he'd decided that this was it, when he'd stopped questioning his own feelings and accepted them as fact. It wasn't anything big or dramatic, and to be honest, it was actually kind of embarrassing in a completely sappy and girly way, but there was this one time. They'd been at this hotel by the sea in Chiba, and Ueda had gotten up to admire the soft, crashing waves outside and the mountains in the distance. He'd stood with his head tilted away, expression peaceful and melancholy and wondrous all at once, the moonlight tipping his eyelashes white, a blanket wrapped around a thin, boyish frame and graceful collarbones, and Ueda probably never knew it, but Ryo hadn't been able to stop looking. Part of him had wanted to get up and hold him and chase the loneliness away from his eyes, but he couldn't even bring himself to move.
From the next day on, that feeling he had, that deep sense of settled tranquility, so sweet it almost hurt to feel; that was how he defined eternity.
-
Ryo got to the café an hour before they were supposed to meet in the hopes of getting some work done, but he ended up staring into space for about half of it.
How would this go? he wondered as he reread the same line eight times. It was the same question he'd asked himself before, the same one he felt like he'd been asking from the very beginning. Where were they going?
He wanted a second chance; he knew that. But somehow, he couldn't ignore the terror that they would fuck it up again, that he would fuck it up. Because no matter how he looked at it, the last fantastic crash and burn had really mostly been his fault for being ignorant and presumptive and for never asking. More than anything else, he needed for this to succeed because no one else had ever made him feel like this, either before or since, and it kind of felt like a house of cards where if he wasn't careful enough, everything would break apart and come falling down around his ears again.
Realistically speaking, he knew that he was probably being too melodramatic, but he just never, ever wanted to be in that situation again. Not with anyone, and especially not with Ueda.
-
"Hey!" He glanced up to find Ueda smiling and waving at him from the doorway, looking windblown and a bit pink around the cheeks, the entrance bell's ringing still echoing in his footsteps.
"Hi," Ryo greeted back, scrambling to clean off the tabletop so that Ueda could sit down. He was wearing some kind of long knit sweater thing that made him look like a doll, a pair of big idol shades perched on his face.
Ryo considered asking him why he needed sunglasses in late September but decided-wisely, he thought-to refrain from commenting.
He waited until Ueda was done ordering a mocha cappuccino (which he also didn't comment on; Ryo patted himself on the back) before clearing his throat. "So… How are you?"
"Good." Ueda curled his hands carefully around the hot cup of coffee before him and blew on it, mussed red hair hanging in his eyes. "I have some time off to recover from the concert, so I'm enjoying that. How about you? Your new drama is starting soon, right?"
"Yeah. I was," Ryo licked his lips. "I was just going over the script. It's an interesting story. You should watch it."
Ueda laughed, sounding a million times more relaxed than he used to, than Ryo felt now. "Ah, okay."
Then there was that stiff silence as they came to a conversational impasse, and Ryo wondered if he could find a manual anywhere on How to Talk to People Like a Normal Person. Usually, he just made fun of them until they became friends, but the last time he'd tried that on Ueda...
And Ryo didn't really want to make fun of him now, anyway, because Ueda'd kind of bloomed into a respectable musician, and that was. You know. Respectable.
He cleared his throat again and took a sip of his own rapidly cooling drink. "Um… You wrote new lyrics. For your song."
"Hmm?" Surprise flitted across Ueda's face for a moment before he understood what Ryo was talking about, and his expression grew shuttered and guarded. "Oh. Yeah, that… Well, I mean. I meant it when I said that those words had been for your eyes only. I couldn't have..." He made a vague gesture, but Ryo got the meaning.
Even writing idol pop songs got too personal sometimes. He could never do it himself, writing his pain into words and sharing it with a billion fangirls who wouldn't understand where it was coming from. Singing happiness was easier.
"I liked it," he said quietly. "Both versions. I..." Ryo stopped, staring hard at the painted wood grains on the table. "I meant what I said, too. You… meant a lot to me."
He took a deep breath and looked at Ueda carefully, deliberately. "You still do."
For a long moment, Ryo's heart hung in his throat, and he watched Ueda's blank features, hoping for. He didn't even know. Some kind of change, a smile, a blush, just something to let him know what Ueda was thinking or feeling.
He didn't expect Ueda to suddenly burst out laughing.
"We," he wheezed through mouthfuls of giggles. "We are so lame." He laughed even harder when he saw Ryo's slack-jawed confusion and had to bury his face in his hands in an effort to calm down, shoulders shaking and twitching with mirth.
"H-Hey!" Ryo glowered indignantly, anxiety and self-control out the window. This was the last time he ever thought about being nice. Who the hell did this guy think he was?! "Don't laugh at me when I'm confessing to you!"
"I'm not, I'm not," Ueda reassured him hurriedly, but the evidence wasn't very convincing. "It's just. God. I've been waiting to hear that for five years."
Ryo didn't really know what to say to that.
Ueda wiped some tears away, but neither of them was sure if they were from laughter or something else.
"We are such a mess, Nishikido."
Ryo frowned. "…Is that a yes, then?"
"A yes?" Ueda asked, perplexed. "To what?"
"Do you accept my confession?" Ryo demanded crossly. Maybe he should think about taking it back. Obviously, in the midst of his own romantic daydreams, he'd completely forgotten about Ueda's annoying side. His really annoying side.
But when Ueda didn't reply immediately, Ryo grew nervous again. He hadn't actually meant it about taking anything back.
"Will we just end up like before, do you think?" Ueda murmured finally, hunching forward in insecurity. He stared at Ryo with wide, imploring eyes, as if he desperately wanted the answer to be no, and if Ryo told him that, he'd believe it.
Ryo opened his mouth, then closed it again. "I don't know," he answered, the truth leaving an ugly metallic aftertaste on his tongue. "But I want to try, if you're willing to."
When Ueda still looked doubtful, Ryo surged on, suddenly inspired. "Besides, that kind of situation would be kind of hard to recreate, anyway." He reached forward with one hand, the tips of his fingers just brushing Ueda's. Almost but not quite. "And haven't we gotten older?"
And that was true, too, he realized. They had both changed. Ryo wasn't the sullen, arrogant teenager he used to be, and Ueda was actually kind of normal now. He didn't know what that meant for them, but maybe it could be a clean slate, a new beginning. Maybe they could let go without letting go.
Ueda smiled at that and ducked his head in agreement. "We were really stupid back then, ne." He paused. "But you're right. Back then should just be back then. Yoshi!"
Before Ryo could react, Ueda had put his hand on top of his own and was looking at him, determination shining in his eyes.
"Nishikido Ryo," he said with the air of someone making an official announcement. "I really like you~"
He started laughing again when Ryo gave him a blank look back, too shocked to respond.
"That's a yes, by the way," he added, in case Ryo wanted to know.
I am really ambivalent about this fic. :| There are parts I really like and parts I really hate. It's not what I'd planned on writing for je_ficgames at all since that idea exploded in my face. [should know better by now] As I told maya_morning, I ended up kind of pinch-hitting for myself, and... Well. This is what came out, ne. XD [so lame]