FIC: Forever Home - Chapter 77 of 100
Title: Forever Home - Chapter 77 of 100
Author: Shadowc44
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Kadam (Kurt Hummel/Adam Crawford)
Rating: R
Spoilers: AU. If you’ve seen Kurt and Adam interact, you’re good.
Summary: Adam is bored, and realizes he needs a companion. He decides to adopt a hybrid human/cat.
Warning: Mention of past abuse (non-sexual) from other canon Glee characters. This fic is not particularly kind to most canon Glee characters.
Length: About 4,600 words this chapter. About 333,000 words so far.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Glee characters in this story; they're owned by Fox. Any non-Glee characters are my own invention
Chapter 76
CHAPTER 77
Kurt was fussing with his hair as Adam walked out of the bathroom. All that time Adam had just spent brushing his fur, and how he was unhappy with his hair. Adam hoped he’d take the time to brush his teeth while he was in there. He didn’t mind kissing human Kurt if he had morning breath, for instance, but kitty Kurt just turned human was a different matter.
While he was waiting, Adam brought up the document for “Life With Kurt” on his laptop. He saved the current version with REV added to the title for Revision, and waited for Kurt. He already had it set for Markup, so he could easily highlight problem areas and add notes where necessary. He brought over a red pen and a notepad. Kurt could mark up the printout however he liked, but the notepad might be helpful as well.
Kurt joined him on the sofa. He kicked his shoes off, and put his socked feet up on the coffee table. Adam decided it looked comfortable, so he did the same. Kurt slid over closer to him.
“Just give me some room to type,” Adam murmured, kissing him on the temple. “There’s a pad and pen for you, and you can make whatever changes you want to on the printout. I’m going to make my corrections here, but this way, we can both have more input, I think.”
“Okay.”
Kurt looked relaxed and happy, so Adam found himself relaxing a bit more.
“Do you want anything to eat or drink? You just changed, so I know you might want something…” he trailed off.
“No, thanks, I’m good. I had a little snack a while ago.” Kurt smiled at him and looked calm, so he didn’t think it was likely he was upset over being chastised about his eating habits.
“Alright. Shall we start at the beginning and just work our way through?”
“Sure.” Kurt snuggled in a bit closer, but was trying not to crowd him. Adam thought he could perhaps get used to this togetherness and affection thing.
“I came up with a preface to try to explain what I’m doing here. I didn’t print it out yet, but you can read it here.”
Kurt had brought his glasses, but was squinting at the laptop. It really wasn’t in a good position for him. “Could you read it to me?”
“Certainly.” He cleared his throat, and reminded Kurt it was just a rough draft, before reading it aloud.
Kurt nodded and didn’t have any suggestions for changes, so they moved on.
“I was thinking, perhaps we should have a prologue, from your point of view. Maybe if it’s written by both of us, it will be a more complete picture.”
“Okay. I don’t think I’ll be too good at writing, but maybe I can just tell you, and you can write it out however you want. Make it sound better. Still what I say, but nicer.”
Adam was pretty sure he understood what Kurt meant; smooth off the rough edges, maybe correct his grammar, for instance.
Kurt dictated, and Adam thought he was making an effort to go slow, but he still had to interrupt a number of times to be able to write it all out.
He was torn between stopping Kurt every other sentence to ask for more details, and letting him vent whatever he needed to say. He finally settled for waiting to ask him later.
When Kurt had gotten up to the point where Adam had wanted to talk to him privately in the interview room, he stopped.
“I think you’ve got the rest of this already, right?”
“Yes. I was thinking, I don’t know whether we want to put it in the book or not, but it might be helpful for you to talk about everything you remember…your childhood, your parents, all of that, up until you were brought to New Directions. I’m not sure, maybe that should be a separate book.” At Kurt’s look of alarm, he soothed him. “That’s okay, we don’t have to show anybody else. Though maybe it would help Dr. Hanover to have that information.”
Kurt nodded. “I don’t mind him seeing that stuff, but I’m not sure I’m ready for the whole world…or whoever reads the book, to see it.”
“Fair enough. We can work on that another time, if you’d like.”
“Please.” Kurt sighed. “I’d like to get through what you have already.”
They settled down to some serious editing. For the most part, Kurt agreed with Adam’s interpretation of events, but there were some places where they agreed they should show his perspective as well.
“How do we want to do this?” Adam mused. “It might be amusing if it looked like you were slipping in your perceptions in between each chapter.”
“What do you mean?” Kurt asked. “I’m not sure I’m following you.”
“Well, like, “Chapter 1, blah, blah, blah, clearly my perspective. Then after that chapter, a page or two of ‘Kurt Says’ or something like that. I don’t know, it’s going to be hard to convince people that you wrote those scenes, or that they’re actually your perspective. Unless…” Adam was quiet a moment as he thought it through. “How about this. If we could manage to get some publicity, like on some talk shows or something, you could come with me. The host can ask you questions, where it’s clear the answers weren’t rehearsed ahead of time. People can see your genuine response or answers to questions. Though that might be rather stressful for you,” he concluded, looking worriedly at Kurt. “What do you think?”
Kurt shook his head. “I think it’s too soon to worry about that, but I don’t like the idea. Let’s just get it written, then we can work on how you want to present it.”
Adam nodded sharply. “Good. That’s probably the best way to go for now. But I can’t stress enough how important it is, that people see both points of view, especially when it’s something that might be a common misperception. Like how me teasing you sometimes really hurts your feelings, because I’m not thinking enough about what you’re hearing, only what I’m saying. Sometimes you take things very literally, and I forget that. It’s something I need to be more aware of, but I wonder if that happens between other hybrids and their owners?”
“Probably,” Kurt sighed. “But I have a feeling most owners don’t ask their pet’s opinions on much, and they might not communicate as well as we do. It’s possible the owner doesn’t mean anything bad by it, but the pet might not understand it, and get upset, and not know how to explain it.”
“Precisely. I was thinking about how nervous, downright scared you were, at first, before you got to know me. You were so vulnerable…” He stopped and considered his words. “That’s just the problem, isn’t it? You, as a hybrid pet, are still very vulnerable to me. I choose to be considerate and try to think about your feelings, both because I love you and it seems like the right thing to do. But other hybrids in the same situation might not feel safe. Maybe their owners mean well, or maybe they don’t, but I suspect the average hybrid - if there is such a thing as an average hybrid - might not feel comfortable asking their owner to clarify things. So they might continue to be scared long past the time when they should have adapted.”
“Or,” Kurt countered, “they might just adapt to being scared all the time. The owner might think that’s their natural state, and not try to find out if something’s wrong, and just assume they’re supposed to be that way.”
Adam gritted his teeth, then made a conscious effort to relax. “Hm, it makes me think, maybe that’s where the idea came from that all hybrids are submissive, and should be subordinate to full humans. It could be a survival or coping mechanism becomes a part of the pet’s personality, and the owner doesn’t know that’s not the way the hybrid would behave in other circumstances.”
“Sounds like something we should talk to Dr. Hanover about,” Kurt said. “He’d probably find it interesting. But I don’t know, it might be too deep for what you’re trying to do here. I wonder if we could sort of hide the message, like present it as sort of a comedy, but try to sneak some serious stuff in there?”
“Or just let the story speak for itself,” Adam countered. He could tell this was going to be more complicated than he’d first thought. “Just tell the truth about how you came to live with me, and what life is like for both of us, how things have changed as a result. How we’ve changed each other. But whether it should be classified as a comedy, a biography, or slice of life, we can leave that to the publisher, if we want to try to get it published the traditional way.”
“I’m not sure this is the type of story most publishers would want.” Kurt ran a hand through his hair, which fell perfectly back into place. Adam envied him. Then he shook his head to remind himself to finish what they were doing.
“Then we either need to find the right publisher, or I can pay to publish it myself. It probably won’t sell nearly as many copies that way, but we’ll see.”
Kurt shrugged. “I’m sure you’ll figure out what’s best.” He bit his lip and stared down at his hands for a moment. “What if they don’t believe you?”
“What if who doesn’t believe me?” Adam asked. He picked up Kurt’s nearer hand and squeezed it.
“The publisher, or people who read it. What if they think you’re lying, or exaggerating, to try to sell more books?”
“I suppose it’s possible. But we’ll know the truth. And so will the people in the story. Which reminds me…I’d better get permission from everyone I mention in here who’s a real person. Everyone from Lily to April, and anyone in between. God, I really don’t want to ask Sebastian for his permission. I guess the people I can’t find again, like little Amy or her mother, I can just change their name. Maybe I should do that with most of them, but I think it’ll be more authentic if I can say “some of the names have been changed” instead of “all of them”, you know?”
“Mm-hm. I guess that’s true. That’s going to be a lot of work.” Kurt sighed, and sank deeper into the sofa.
“I suppose I should get it in writing, so I’d better draft an e-mail or letter or something.” He was beginning to have second thoughts. Not so much about the work involved in contacting people, but how they would feel about knowing he was writing about them, even if they were only peripheral characters in the story. On the other hand, it might be considered an advertisement of sorts for the Faster Fitness Center, for example…but, oh dear, there was the issue of Donna. Maybe he should leave that out.
“What are you thinking about? I can hear the gears grinding from here,” Kurt teased him, squeezing his hand in return.
He elaborated his concerns.
“For sure talk to Jerry, and Daniel, too, ahead of time. And Nancy.” Kurt sighed. “I guess we could always leave that part out entirely.”
“But I wanted to leave it in there,” Adam explained, “so people can see how happy it can make a number of people, if a hybrid and their family want to be reunited. And I think we’ll definitely have to talk to April, and maybe leave out any mention of Shelby Corcoran. I could put something in some place else, about the difficulties, as well, if either the parent or child doesn’t want to be reunited, or the owner doesn’t want it.”
Kurt was frowning, and staring off into the middle distance. “You’ve got the story about me and my dad to let people know it can make a difference, so maybe you can leave Nancy and Donna and their family out of it, and not get Jerry in trouble. And Dad’s okay with you telling people, I guess.”
“I’ll be sure to make sure he knows I’m including his visit, for sure.” More and more complications all the time. But worth it, he was sure.
“And I’m sure you’re going to leave out any references to the gardening club,” Kurt reminded him.
“Definitely. That stays private, for now.”
“Maybe you’d better start making a list of everyone you need to contact. I can keep going through the book and taking notes.”
Adam was reminded again how dedicated and considerate Kurt was, about so many things.
“Thank you, yes, that would probably be best. Before I get too much further in the writing, I’d better make sure it’s going to be okay to write it at all. Which, I suppose, means consulting with my lawyer.”
“The one you were going to see about your will, or Julia?” Kurt asked.
Adam grinned. “I was thinking about Julia. She would be more the expert in this, perhaps, or could direct me to someone else. But you’re right, I still need to set up an appointment with Charles, or he and Julia together, to discuss my will.”
Kurt bit his lip, but didn’t say anything.
“What’s the matter, love?”
He turned his head to smile, but his eyes were shiny. “I was just thinking about the fact that I’d rather you didn’t need a will at all, or at least, didn’t need to provide for me in it.”
“What do you mean? Talk to me, please.”
Kurt spoke slowly, for him. “I don’t want to think about anything happening to you. I want to die first, it’s the way things should be anyway, since hybrids don’t live as long as humans.”
“Sshhhh, don’t think about that.” Adam hugged him, but realized it wasn’t enough. “I’m not planning on dying any time soon. And I don’t want to think about you dying, either. I just want to be prepared in case anything unexpected happens. Or if I’m somehow incapacitated and can’t take care of you. Like, when your dad was sick and couldn’t take care of you? He got better, but if I were in a coma for a long time, I wouldn’t be able to make decisions for you. I’m not sure you would be allowed to stay here alone, waiting for me to recover. That’s why I need to get things straightened out, and find someone to take care of you.”
Kurt sniffled, and reached for a tissue. He blew his nose emphatically. “Excuse me. I need a few minutes alone.”
Adam let him go, though a part of him wanted to go after him and reassure him that everything would be fine. But Kurt probably did need some time alone to think. He saved the document and put aside all the papers. He opened a new document and started making a list.
When Kurt returned, Adam was pretty sure he was the only one who would have known he was crying. He was cleaned up, hair combed, and outwardly calm.
Adam walked over and hugged him, holding him tightly. “I don’t want you to worry about things you can’t control.”
Kurt lifted his chin and stared into his eyes as he said, “Can you promise me you won’t worry about things you can’t control?”
Adam heaved a long sigh. “Alright, you’ve got me there. It’s not fair to ask you to do something I can’t do myself. But I think we could both do with some food, don’t you?”
Kurt nodded. “Instead of cooking, can we maybe order a pizza or something, and get started watching Downton Abbey?”
He was relieved Kurt was giving him such an easy out. Hopefully the show would be absorbing enough to be a good distraction.
“Good idea. You get the DVDs, and I’ll order the pizza. Anything special you want?”
Kurt shook his head. “Whatever you got last time, that was good.”
“Okay.” Adam squeezed Kurt’s shoulder and went to make the call.
<><><><><><><><><><>
Kurt was enjoying Downton Abbey. To make it even better, he was watching it with Adam, and could ask questions. Adam didn’t mind pausing the show and giving him some background, or occasionally telling him he’d just have to wait and see, if he wanted to know what a certain character was going to do, or why someone would do something that didn’t make sense to him. That happened quite a bit.
They watched the first two episodes, and Kurt wanted to watch more, but was getting sleepy.
Adam paused before the next episode. “It’s no problem, we can watch more tomorrow. It’s more important that you get your rest,” he pointed out.
“Okay.” Kurt covered his mouth while he yawned, then shook his head to wake himself up. “Can we go to bed now? Not to sleep. I’m not that tired yet. But maybe we can do something fun?”
Adam grinned at him. “We can certainly try. Let’s see how things go.”
“Maybe we can do something else now, more like we’re used to, and wait till tomorrow morning, maybe, to try something new?”
“Whatever you’re comfortable with is fine with me. In this case, you’re calling the shots, at least for right now.” Adam was glad Kurt was comfortable enough to ask for what he wanted.
Kurt grinned in delight. “This is so different from what I expected.”
“Good.” They held hands as they walked through the apartment, making sure all the lights were off. The door was always locked.
When they got to the hallway, Adam paused. “Why don’t you get your pajamas, so you don’t have to get them later.”
Kurt bit his lip. “Can you maybe make some room in your pajama drawer?”
Adam smiled slowly. “Maybe we can spend some time over the next couple of days, moving most of your clothes in here, and your things from the bathroom, that you need every day. We can leave some stuff in there.”
“Great! And then you’ll have a guest room again.”
Kurt didn’t seem at all concerned at the thought of giving up his room.
“No,” Adam disagreed. “We’ll occasionally have a guest room. But it’s still your room. You’ve got Buckingham Palace and other toys in there, and the things your father brought in the closet, and you still need a place to go if you get in a mood and want to be alone.”
“What? I’m not moody!” Kurt glared at him, hands on hips.
“I’m sorry, you’re right, you’re calm and relaxed at all times,” Adam teased. “If you don’t mind, though, let’s leave the bed as is. Would you feel better about taking naps in here?” He tilted his head in the direction of his room.
Kurt nodded his head enthusiastically. “Yes, that would be better!”
Adam hesitated. “You do realize my bed is even bigger than yours, right?”
He shrugged. “It’s different. For one thing, you’ve got a couple of windows, so there’s a bit more light. And I’m not as nervous as I was when I first moved in.”
Adam hugged him tightly. “No, you’re not.”
“I’ll get my pajamas and be right back.”
<><><><><><><><><><>
When Kurt came back, carrying his pajamas, Adam took them from him and set them on the chair near the bed.
He stepped back to see Kurt’s face. “So, what do you want to do?”
“Can I just take my time with you? Just explore your body? Is that okay?” he asked hesitantly.
“Of course it is. You don’t have to be nervous about asking.”
“Great!” Kurt started undressing him slowly. It was a bit annoying that Adam liked to dress in layers, but he knew he was worse about that than Adam. He started kissing exposed skin. By the time he’d removed all of his boyfriend’s clothes, with a little bit of help, he was ready to see the results of his handiwork.
“Just stand there a minute, please, and let me look at you?” he requested.
“Certainly.” Adam was blushing a bit, but didn’t seem actually nervous, so Kurt felt comfortable looking at him.
He couldn’t believe that this beautiful man belonged to him. Well, he belonged to Adam, but still, he was the one who would get to see him like this. Hopefully the only one who would. He drank in the sight of the lean, toned body. He might tease Adam about being out of shape, but he really wasn’t.
Kurt gestured for him to turn around, so he did, slowly. Kurt was amazed that Adam was allowing him this much control. It was so much better than he’d hoped for. He knew Adam was still the one in charge in their relationship, the one who would be making the major decisions. But the fact that he was being allowed to make decisions in this area made him feel so much better about the rest. A part of him, probably the hybrid part, he realized, wanted to do whatever Adam told him to, and would be happier if Adam was happy. But another part of him, perhaps the human part, resented the thought of always having to bend his will to someone else’s, and didn’t want to be told what to do by anybody. But in this case, it wasn’t just anybody, it was Adam, so for some reason it didn’t bother him.
Kurt focused all his attention on Adam, shoving aside any doubts and worries. It was just the two of them for now, and both he and Adam wanted this. If there was anything he did that Adam didn’t like, he’d tell him.
He took Adam’s hand and led him over to the bed, gesturing for him to lay down on his back. Kurt started to take off his own clothes.
“Slower, please, love. I want to watch,” Adam encouraged.
Kurt smiled, and tried to strip as sensuously as possible. He felt a little silly, but Adam’s reaction reassured him.
He tried to do everything he thought he might like to have done to him, and Adam responded with sighs and encouragement. A few times he gave in to his instincts and rubbed his face over Adam’s chest and stomach.
“Kurt? What are you doing, darling?” Adam asked, sounding slightly alarmed.
“You’re mine. My owner, that is. I just want to make it clear to everyone.”
“Er, if you’re rubbing your scent on me, I don’t think humans, Jesse or anyone else, will be able to tell.”
“Guess I’ll have to try the human version, then,” Kurt said, and began sucking on Adam’s neck.
“Mm, hickeys are fine,” Adam murmured. He tilted his head back, and Kurt sighed in appreciation.
Adam started to stroke his back and shoulders, but Kurt pulled away slightly.
“I’m sorry, I just wanted to concentrate on you for now, on what I’m doing for you.”
“Alright.” Adam smiled and his eyes sparkled, so Kurt knew he wasn’t upset. “I just hope you’re going to give me a chance to do the same to you sometime.”
“Mm, that would be nice,” Kurt murmured, going back to his self-appointed task.
<><><><><><><><><><>
Adam wondered if he was doing the right thing, letting Kurt sleep with him, instead of insisting he get used to sleeping on his own, in his own room. But then, was it really necessary? He enjoyed having Kurt with him, as much as Kurt liked being there. If one of them was sick, had a cold or something that the other didn’t want to get, they could sleep in separate beds, but other than that, Kurt could stay in his room. Which was rapidly becoming their room. He still thought it was important that Kurt have his own space, in case he wanted time alone. But if he did, he’d get used to the bed. And if, for some reason he couldn’t think of at the moment, he was gone for the night, or a few days, without Kurt, he was welcome to sleep alone in Adam’s bed. That would no doubt be more comforting than being in the other room.
He was glad they both felt free to be more intimate with one another, and it seemed to be doing wonders for Kurt’s confidence and spirit. He looked at the young man sleeping next to him, half-way draped over him, and sighed. He had to admit he really didn’t want Kurt to ever go back to his own bed, not even for a night. He closed his eyes and relaxed, listening to the sound of Kurt’s soft snoring, until it soothed him to sleep.
<><><><><><><><><><>
The next morning, when Adam woke, Kurt was gone from the bed. He was a little disappointed he seemed to have changed his mind about wanting sex that morning. After taking a shower and getting himself together for the day, Adam wandered into the kitchen, and found kitty Kurt finishing up the bowl of crunchies.
“Ah, decided to get your cat time in early today, I see.”
Adam bent down to pet Kurt, who stopped eating long enough to enjoy the attention. “Do you want me to fix you something a little more substantial?”
Kurt meowed and ran over to the counter. Adam kept the cat food in a cupboard with a sliding lock on it. Easy enough for human Kurt to open, if he wanted to, but Kitty!Kurt didn’t have the strength to push it open. It hadn’t stopped him from trying.
Adam hummed to himself as he got out a can of Beef Bits for Hybrids. The can didn’t say exactly what bits of beef were in the can, and Adam thought it was probably best neither of them knew. He managed to get the can open without Kurt tripping him, and he gently shooed him away from the bowl while he cleaned it out and filled it with half a can of food. While Kurt started on that, he cleaned and re-filled the water bowl, then decided it was high time he fix himself some tea.
He added an extra scrambled egg to his breakfast, and fed small amounts of it to Kurt, who had finished his own breakfast and was seated at his feet. He’d sprinkled just the tiniest pieces of cheese in with the egg. Hopefully not enough to cause Kurt digestive distress, but enough to be considered a treat. He hoped Kurt would know how much he could handle. Kurt thanked him by thoroughly cleaning his whiskers, then rubbing his face against Adam’s leg. He sat and patiently waited for Adam to finish.
Actually, he wasn’t sure how he knew Kurt wasn’t waiting patiently for more food, but he seemed very relaxed and wasn’t outright begging.
Once the kitchen was cleaned up, Adam picked Kurt up and held him close. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you. I thought you might want to sit with me for a while. I’ve got things to do on the computer. Then, when you’re ready to change, we can watch more Downton Abbey.”
Kurt meeped his agreement to this plan. Adam held him on his lap for a while, petting him and singing silly lullabies and baby songs to him. His plan seemed to work, and as soon as Kurt’s purrs had turned to snores, he carefully lifted him from his lap, and set him down a few inches away. He now had room to move his arms without worrying about accidentally hitting Kurt. He hoped he’d already had some playtime, and wouldn’t need any more. He didn’t know if this was going to be it for the day, or if Kurt would change again, but he supposed it didn’t matter. All they had planned for certain, aside from their TV marathon, was for him to tell Kurt about Jesse. He supposed just telling him the truth would be the best thing, but he’d need some background as well.
Next - Chapter 78