I've been biting the bullet for so long, I think I may have ground it down.
Let me go, I want to be free.

Today is one of those days that I'm just feeling really low, missing my Dad, and trying to feel "normal" again. When I think about it, I feel like an empty cocoon... Maybe I really needed this semester off.

You've got a big order to fill, ya know. We all have expectations. It's so painfully apparent to us that he is not the person for this position in this place that we're all simply waiting for you to swoop in and make the change. We allow ourselves to believe that something will be done. We take stock of every phone call, hoping it's you. We make ( Read more... )

There is too much emotion in your eyes.
I'm being crushed by gravity.

I get it. It was never that I didn't. I'm observant, insightful, and fully understand the concept of perception and positivity. If it were all that simple, I would be better. But the fact of the matter is, I need something to hold onto. I'm just looking for something stable to keep me from floating away. I know it can't be someone, because that isn ( Read more... )

I've wanted to be a hero my whole life. It's one of the reasons I carry myself with as much pride as I do. It's why I tend to be overly confident. It's the part of me that never loses hope and is quick to make the best out of any situation. It's the problem solver in me. I don't want to be an artist. I don't want to be a nurse. I want to help ( Read more... )

The one my father gave me when I left home at age 19 is a real penny that has the Mason emblem stamped into the coin so the emblem itself is on the raised section of the penny. He told me I could show this penny to any Mason in the world (I was in the military) and it would ensure my passage home. I never used the penny and have kept it for more ( Read more... )

I'm just looking for someone to shoulder the burden, and that's not fair. I always feel like I'm putting my friends out. I'm a giver, not a taker. My heart aches and any real consolation or justification doesn't ease my pain of loss. (Although this is one of those times that people conveniently start believing in heaven because it gives them peace ( Read more... )

It's been a really tough year. My brothers and I, who I'm pleased to say have become closer courtesy of our dad's passing, are now joint-homeowners. I own 1/3 of a house. I'd be excited if it were something I didn't have to claim on my taxes, which probably means I'll need someone to do my taxes from now on and that the three of us will be paying ( Read more... )

I feel like I'm trying to figure out who I am again and I don't like it. I was pretty content with who I was! But maybe that's just punk-ass-rebel 19-year-old me who never wants to change anything? Probably, that kid's fucking annoying. My. Life. Is. Changing. I can't stop it and it's going too fast for me to dissect it like this. Maybe I ( Read more... )