Bed of Roses Chapter One
Title Bed of Roses
Author: Aquariuslover
Pairings: SungGyu/WooHyun
Rating: R
Genre: Friendship, Love, Humor, Angst
Length: Chaptered
Beta: tahoeturquoise
Summary: WooHyun’s perfect life…his bed of roses is tossed into disarray when SungGyu makes a bold move changing their friendship forever.
Prologue
WooHyun stayed in the supply closet much longer than five minutes. He stood against the wall of a room that had grown smaller since SungGyu had left, and tried to clear his head. He even shook his head a couple of times, trying to rid himself of the desire that still burned inside him. He could still feel SungGyu’s lips on him, and he tried his hardest to push such thoughts out of his head. He knew the danger of dwelling on such thoughts.
Now with SungGyu’s blinding presence gone, he knew he wasn’t ready for the change in their relationship. He could barely admit his feelings for his hyung to himself without his own mind shooting off homophobic denials. He knew he had to rid himself of the memory of what had occurred in this closet, and the desire he had felt. He forced himself to think rationally about what they had just done, and what his older hyung would expect from him now.
SungGyu had been wrong to corner him in such a way, and he would tell him, or maybe he would just do what he always did. Yes, it would be simpler just to ignore his older hyung for a couple days, remind him that their bond went deeper than certain primal desires.
SungGyu needed him desperately, and WooHyun knew this. SungGyu was the leader of Infinite, but it was WooHyun who held the control over their relationship. He knew that he was his hyung’s greatest weakness, that his hyung craved his attention. He knew the way his hyung looked at him, basked in his presence, and found delight in almost everything he did or said. WooHyun had used this attachment against SungGyu before. The first time SungGyu had dared to kiss him, WooHyun had not spoken to him for a half day. The second time he purposely ignored him during a radio interview, the third time he smothered the other members with affection for an entire day while neglecting SungGyu, and the forth time he had ignored all SungGyu’s calls when their schedules had sent them in opposite directions.
WooHyun pushed himself away from the wall that he was leaning against and opened the door to exit; the small supply closet was suddenly suffocating. He knew he would have to be firmer with his punishment this time…a line had been crossed. He would have to ignore SungGyu for the rest of the night, and possibly even all of tomorrow. He had to be firm with him this time. He could not allow this to continue.
He stepped out into the hallway to find it mostly deserted. He cringed, realizing he had stayed in there thinking for far longer than he had realized. The managers would be looking for him no doubt, and he would be lucky if he did not find himself in a heap of trouble. This was all SungGyu’s fault he told himself as he started heading towards the stadium exit where their van was parked. Of course he didn’t have his phone with him; he had just gotten off the stage when SungGyu had pulled him away for their disastrous rendezvous.
WooHyun hurried his pace and was speeding down the hallway toward the exit when the loud, sharp, angry voice of their stage manager stopped him in his tracks. The voice was coming from inside a dressing room, and the door leading to the room was slightly ajar, so the voices could be heard clearly.
“You two filthy faggots!” the stage manager yelled from inside the room. Two voices that he recognized as a pair of their back-up dancers were apologizing profusely. The dancers sounded as if they were close to tears.
The manager had no mercy for them and continued loudly, “You are fired. What if somebody else had caught you? Caught you groping like a couple of filthy animals. It’s unnatural! It’s disgusting! We can not have Infinite tarnished by the sorry likes of you.”
WooHyun stood frozen, unable to move as the stage manager continued to lash out at the dancers. The words the stage manager used were not unheard of, no quite the opposite: they could be heard in almost every South Korean home when the topic of homosexuality came up. They could be heard in his home. Homosexuality was frowned on, and fiercely disapproved of…hated, shunned, and not tolerated. WooHyun knew this, and what the stage manager had said about tarnishing Infinite’s image was also true…so true. WooHyun knew this too, and still he had followed SungGyu into the supply room and allowed him touch him in ways that he should never have permitted.
“You filthy faggots! Your parents must regret the day they brought such vile trash into the world,” the stage manager told them in a voice full of contempt. The sounds of the dancer’s pleas for forgiveness were drowned out, and all WooHyun heard was hatred…hatred he never wanted aimed at him…at SungGyu…or Infinite. The stage manager was right, nothing must ever tarnish Infinite’s image…nothing.
A touch on his shoulder had Woohyun nearly jumping out of his skin, as he wheeled around to find Geonam Hyung. “Where have you been? Everybody else is already in the van. You better have a-”
“I’m not paying you squat. After I get done spreading the word about you filthy faggots, you will never work in this business again!” the stage manger yelled from inside the room, interrupting the manger’s rant at WooHyun.
WooHyun looked up guiltily at his manager, for once at a loss for a proper excuse. The manger looked down at him, shook his head, and gently pushed him down the hallway. “We need to get going.”
**************
“I don’t know how you keep from laughing,” Hoya told SungYeol, full of admiration. They were all sitting around a table at a fancy restaurant eating barbeque. Their reward for another successful, sold out concert.
SungYeol, who was sitting between L and Hoya, explained, “It’s simple: I’m a professional.”
“Did you just admit to being a professional tranny?” DongWoo asked from the other side of the table, causing SungYeol to pick up a piece of meat from his tray and fling it at him.
“You would make a very good one, hyung!” SungJong, who was sitting between SungGyu and DongWoo on the other side of the table, enthusiastically agreed.
SungYeol glared at SungJong and told him, “Next time you get to be the girl.”
“No, that won’t do,” L said quickly, winking at SungYeol and continuing in a flirtatious voice, “He doesn’t have the legs for it.”
SungYeol’s eyes lit up and he took the challenge. He wrapped an arm around L’s neck, and asked sweetly, “Do you like my legs?”
L gave SungYeol his best smarmy smile. There was once a time when SungYeol’s flirting could turn him beet red, but now L refused to give him the satisfaction. In their ongoing game of what the other members called gay chicken, L refused to lose. “I love them…they just go on and on.”
“Can we stop this shit? I’m trying to eat,” WooHyun, who was sitting by himself at the very end of the table, suddenly snapped.
Six pairs of eyes were immediately on WooHyun, whose foul mood had not escaped anyone’s notice. Since they had arrived at the restaurant, he had refused to talk to any of them. He had insisted on sitting away from them at the end of the table, looking glum.
“It’s all in fun, they are playing,” DongWoo told the younger man, trying to ease the tension.
“It might be cute on camera, but there aren’t any fans here to watch, so can you please spare us, and our stomachs,” WooHyun spat back hatefully.
SungYeol, who was studying WooHyun hard, said, “You sound awfully jealous to me. What have I told you boys about fighting over me?”
“You aren’t worth it?” Hoya answered drily, causing the entire table except for WooHyun and SungGyu to erupt in laughter.
WooHyun stared down at his food, his appetite gone. He could feel SungGyu’s eyes on him from the other end of the table, but he refused to meet his gaze. He hadn’t spoken to the other man since they had left the concert venue. He knew he was acting like an ass, but at least now SungGyu would know…know of his disapproval. “I’m going to the van,” WooHyun said, jumping up and leaving the room quickly to avoid SungGyu’s gaze.
All the members watched, feeling extremely puzzled as the normally good natured main vocal sulked off.
“What crawled up his panties and died?” SungYeol asked, turning his gaze to SungGyu. The other five members immediately did the same.
SungGyu stood up and looked down at his five members saying, “I’m not sure, but I’m about to find out.”
************
WooHyun opened the door to the van with a manager close behind him insisting, “You can’t stay out here by yourself. Go back in the restaurant.”
“Hyoan hyung, please just leave me alone. I won’t go anywhere,” WooHyun promised as he jumped into the van.
“You can’t stay out here. If something happened to you, I would get fired…do you want me to be fired? Do you want me to tell my mother that I was fired?”
“No,” WooHyun told the more dramatic of their managers. “I just need to be alone. I won’t open the door for anybody.”
WooHyun watched as the manager, who was only visible due to the parking lot lights, and the small amount of light the opened van door provided, held up his arms in total frustration. “Why aren’t you eating the barbeque? The barbeque is excellent! I would love to be eating it! Do you want me to starve?”
WooHyun shook his head at the manager’s dramatics. “Hyung, go back in there. I will be fine.”
Manager Hyoan pulled out his phone and threatened Woohyun, “I will call Geonam! He will make you go back inside.”
“No, don’t!” Woohyun pleaded, knowing he wouldn’t be able to talk Manager Geonam into letting him stay out in the van by himself.
“I’ve got this,” SungGyu said suddenly as he appeared beside the manager.
The manager was suddenly all smiles. “Thank God.”
“Go back inside and enjoy the good food, Hyoan Hyung,” SungGyu told the manager as he slid into the backseat of the van with WooHyun.
The manager, who completely trusted SungGyu, couldn’t keep from asking, “But you will be coming back in?”
SungGyu nodded his head. “Just give us a minute.”
“Just a minute?” the manager confirmed.
SungGyu smiled at the manager through the open door. “Yes, we will have to hurry back in, or all the food will be gone. It’s almost gone now.”
The manager turned away from the boys, and eyed the restaurant longingly. “Okay, just a minute…just a minute.”
“Just a minute,” SungGyu confirmed, and then shut the door of the van. SungGyu watched as the manager hurried back toward the restaurant.
WooHyun, who had clamped his mouth shut while SungGyu and the manager had spoken, scooted as far away from the leader as he could. SungGyu was the last person he wanted to be stuck with right now, but he knew better than to alert the manager to that fact. The managers controlled fighting in Infinite by keeping the bickering boys separated as much as possible till tempers cooled down, and WooHyun would only be separated from SungGyu at his own doing.
The light in the van shut off after the door was closed, and SungGyu could barely make WooHyun out in the vehicle, but he didn’t miss the distance that WooHyun had placed between them. “Is there something we need to talk about?”
WooHyun wanted to scream at SungGyu and his carefully controlled voice. How could he be so calm after what he did, WooHyun asked himself. “Talk? Well, that’s a nice concept, isn’t it? Yes, why don’t we talk about how you assaulted me?”
“Assaulted you?” SungGyu muttered in shock. He thought he had prepared himself for anything the younger man might throw at him, but he had been wrong. He had never imagined that he would be accused of such a thing, and not by WooHyun.
The words of the stage manager played in WooHyun’s mind and he declared in a voice full of anguish, “I’m not some filthy faggot!”
“Filthy faggot?” SungGyu repeated in a soft, disbelieving whisper.
“No,” WooHyun cried, feeling tears spill from his eyes as hurtful words fired out of his mouth, hitting their unsuspecting target. “I never wanted any of this! You just grab me and force yourself on me! You take advantage of our friendship! You used to say that you would wait for me to decide, but you never wait! First it was the kisses, and now this…no more, Hyung! No more!”
The silence in the car was deafening, and WooHyun waited for SungGyu to say something, anything. He kept waiting for him to easily dispute his hateful words. WooHyun might not have been the initiator but he had never resisted either. He kept waiting for SungGyu to challenge him, but the deafening silence just continued. He tried to wipe his eyes free of the blasted tears that would not stop coming. He hated the tears. Men didn’t cry like this, he told himself, but he couldn’t stop. He knew SungGyu would be hurt by his words, and he couldn’t bear the thought. He didn’t want to hurt his hyung, but he knew he had to put an end to whatever romantic notions SungGyu had about the two of them.
Minutes seemed to pass, and still SungGyu said nothing. He just sat there in the darkness not moving or saying a word. After what seemed like forever, he opened the door and quietly got out of the van. He gently shut the door behind him, and walked away without saying a word to the younger man. WooHyun bent over in his seat trying to fight the nausea that was suddenly overwhelming him.
**********************
“So what do you think is going on with them?” SungJong asked as he sat down on the bottom bunk in the room he shared with Hoya.
Hoya, who was going through his backpack on the floor, looked up at SungJong curiously. “Them?”
“SungYeol says Leader Gyu and WooHyun are fighting,” SungJong explained.
Hoya pondered SungJong’s words and asked, “Have you seen them fighting?”
“No, but SungYeol is usually right about these kinds of things,” SungJong insisted. “Plus, they didn’t sit together at the restaurant or on the drive back to the dorm.”
“That doesn’t mean anything. WooHyun didn’t sit with any of us at the restaurant, and SungGyu sat up front on the ride home.”
SungJong folded his arms and looked down at his older friend. “Something still doesn’t feel right…like the world is out of balance. I don’t like it when our parents fight.”
Hoya rolled his eyes and tossed a notebook up at his younger friend. “You crazy nut-”
“Kids in bed,” SungGyu told them, interrupting Hoya as he walked into the room doing his nightly rounds of his members. “We have to be at the radio station early. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow, get sleep while you can.”
“I’m not tired,” the maknae protested. Sometimes SungJong wondered why the company even bothered leaving a manager with them most nights, it really wasn’t necessary, not with SungGyu watching over them.
“I know you are still wired because of the concert, but try to sleep. We want to look good for our Japanese fans tomorrow. We fly out right after the radio show,” SungGyu reminded him as he walked over to the bed and patted SungJong on the head. “If you fall asleep now, you are only going to get three hours, but three hours is better than none.”
“We will sleep,” Hoya promised.
SungGyu smiled down at his dependable member sitting on the floor. “Good,” he told Hoya as he headed out of the room. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight Hyung,” Hoya and SungJong said in unison as the leader left the room, shutting the door behind him.
SungJong smiled in relief. “I guess SungYeol was wrong. He seems to be in a really nice mood.”
Hoya frowned, because the leader seemed almost somber to him. Had SungYeol been right? Were the main vocals fighting? “Yeah, he seems fine,” Hoya said, deciding to not voice his concerns till he had more to go on than a gut feeling.
SungJong got off the bottom bunk and climbed up to his top bunk. “I’m glad. I hate it when they fight.”
“They never fight for longer than five minutes,” Hoya replied as he zipped up his bag and stood up to flip off the light.
“I still hate it.”
Hoya nodded his head and agreed, “Me too.”
The door to their room flew open, and WooHyun stormed in announcing, “I’m sleeping in here tonight! Hoya, go take my bed.”
Hoya just stared at the older member surprised by the unexpected intrusion. WooHyun did not look good…he looked rattled.
“Why?” SungJong demanded from the top bunk.
“Because I said so.”
“It’s fine. I will go,” Hoya told them, maintaining the peace.
SungJong looked down at a very cranky looking WooHyun and whined, “Why can’t I go stay with Leader Gyu instead?”
“Because I said so!” WooHyun repeated again as he collapsed onto Hoya’s bed, wishing that the cursed day was over already.
SungJong looked at the exiting Hoya and pleaded with his eyes for the other member to not leave him alone with the grumpy main vocal. Hoya just grinned back at SungJong and turned off the light before exiting the room.
“We could both stay with dad,” SungJong said sulking, knowing how to irritate his already irritable hyung.
“If you start that mom and dad shit, I am going to jump up there and beat you. Do you hear me? I am more of a man than you’ll ever be!” WooHyun said with an unusual hardness to his voice that had SungJong shutting up fast.
SungJong jerked his covers up over him and cursed his luck. Why did the universe hate him? Why did he have to get stuck with the foul tempered WooHyun? Normally WooHyun was the peacemaker of the group, and as such he kept everything running smoothly. When SungGyu demanded too much of them and they all felt like breaking, WooHyun would step in and ease all the tension.
Not that SungJong thought WooHyun was perfect, because he didn’t think that at all. WooHyun could be terribly vain, and sometimes his teasing could turn ugly, but usually he was good-natured. SungJong always thought if Infinite were a family, then WooHyun would have been the mother. Which was odd because WooHyun was not feminine at all…he had muscles, and he was one of the most athletic members. No, his motherly role came mostly from SungJong placing SungGyu firmly in the father role. SungJong always saw the leader as the father of the group. He was older, had more experience, and he could be very stern at times, very much like a father. If SungGyu was going to have a wife among the members it would have to be WooHyun. Nobody else was as close to him, and nobody else could cool his rage, and handle him so easily.
It was a fact that SungGyu and WooHyun ruled the group together. DongWoo might be older, but WooHyun had taken his spot as second in command. SungGyu and WooHyun were always a pair in Sungjong’s eyes. No other two members could anger him so much, but like parents their presence also provided him with comfort in the worst of times. If SungGyu and WooHyun were the parents of the group, then DongWoo was the nice, goofy uncle everybody loved. SungJong frowned in the dark; more than aware, however distasteful, that he and SungYeol filled the roles as daughters. They weren’t girls, but they were definitely not as masculine as Hoya and L, who would take up the roles of sons.
SungJong often spoke of the group as a family, and he called SungGyu and WooHyun mom and dad just to annoy them. SungGyu didn’t take it nearly as badly as WooHyun did. Then again, SungGyu didn’t take on the role of the mother.
SungJong rolled on his side and wondered what had WooHyun so upset. He couldn’t ever remember WooHyun refusing to stay in the same room as the leader. They had all fallen asleep in rooms that were not their own, but this was not the same. SungYeol was clever, very little escaped his notice, and SungJong trusted SungYeol’s instincts.
Although SungGyu and WooHyun were unusually close, they were also very different people. SungJong thought that if WooHyun could bleed for Infinite he would. The younger main vocal loved the group, probably more than any of them did. WooHyun could be terribly vain at times, but he always put the group first.
SungGyu…well, SungJong knew that Infinite was not his dream. The leader had other dreams, big dreams that had failed to come true, so instead of finding himself the star vocal in a rock band…he found himself the leader of an idol group. Sometimes SungJong wondered if SungGyu loved Infinite at all, or if he had just resigned himself to his fate. SungJong knew that the leader felt an immense sense of responsibility: for the group, the members, and the group’s future.
SungJong never feared that SungGyu would leave them, because his mother had once told him that love can be fleeting, but the feelings that inspire a sense of responsibility, duty, obligation, and loyalty…are all ingrained into the very fiber of a person’s being, making up his character. Love can fade, but the feelings that inspire a person’s character will linger on, when all else is lost.
SungJong closed his eyes and tried to force the worrisome thoughts from his head. He prayed that when he woke up, their five minutes of fighting would be over, and all would be right with the group.
******************
When Hoya entered the leader’s bedroom he found SungGyu sitting on his bed, leaning against the wall, looking like he had lost his best friend. “Hyung,” Hoya said softly as he approached the bed.
SungGyu closed his eyes, and then reopened them quickly, giving his younger member a weak smile. “Do you need something, Hoya?”
Hoya shook his head, and explained, “WooHyun took my bed, and told me to come stay with you.”
The weak smile completely faded. “Okay. Turn off the light, so we can get some sleep. We have to be at the radio station early, and then we have to fly to Japan. Tomorrow is full of activities, so sleep while you can.”
Hoya quickly obeyed his leader. He turned the light off and climbed up to the top bunk. He pushed all the pictures that WooHyun had of himself on the bed to the side. He didn’t know what was going on between the two older boys, but he knew his leader was suffering.
Author: Aquariuslover
Pairings: SungGyu/WooHyun
Rating: R
Genre: Friendship, Love, Humor, Angst
Length: Chaptered
Beta: tahoeturquoise
Summary: WooHyun’s perfect life…his bed of roses is tossed into disarray when SungGyu makes a bold move changing their friendship forever.
Prologue
WooHyun stayed in the supply closet much longer than five minutes. He stood against the wall of a room that had grown smaller since SungGyu had left, and tried to clear his head. He even shook his head a couple of times, trying to rid himself of the desire that still burned inside him. He could still feel SungGyu’s lips on him, and he tried his hardest to push such thoughts out of his head. He knew the danger of dwelling on such thoughts.
Now with SungGyu’s blinding presence gone, he knew he wasn’t ready for the change in their relationship. He could barely admit his feelings for his hyung to himself without his own mind shooting off homophobic denials. He knew he had to rid himself of the memory of what had occurred in this closet, and the desire he had felt. He forced himself to think rationally about what they had just done, and what his older hyung would expect from him now.
SungGyu had been wrong to corner him in such a way, and he would tell him, or maybe he would just do what he always did. Yes, it would be simpler just to ignore his older hyung for a couple days, remind him that their bond went deeper than certain primal desires.
SungGyu needed him desperately, and WooHyun knew this. SungGyu was the leader of Infinite, but it was WooHyun who held the control over their relationship. He knew that he was his hyung’s greatest weakness, that his hyung craved his attention. He knew the way his hyung looked at him, basked in his presence, and found delight in almost everything he did or said. WooHyun had used this attachment against SungGyu before. The first time SungGyu had dared to kiss him, WooHyun had not spoken to him for a half day. The second time he purposely ignored him during a radio interview, the third time he smothered the other members with affection for an entire day while neglecting SungGyu, and the forth time he had ignored all SungGyu’s calls when their schedules had sent them in opposite directions.
WooHyun pushed himself away from the wall that he was leaning against and opened the door to exit; the small supply closet was suddenly suffocating. He knew he would have to be firmer with his punishment this time…a line had been crossed. He would have to ignore SungGyu for the rest of the night, and possibly even all of tomorrow. He had to be firm with him this time. He could not allow this to continue.
He stepped out into the hallway to find it mostly deserted. He cringed, realizing he had stayed in there thinking for far longer than he had realized. The managers would be looking for him no doubt, and he would be lucky if he did not find himself in a heap of trouble. This was all SungGyu’s fault he told himself as he started heading towards the stadium exit where their van was parked. Of course he didn’t have his phone with him; he had just gotten off the stage when SungGyu had pulled him away for their disastrous rendezvous.
WooHyun hurried his pace and was speeding down the hallway toward the exit when the loud, sharp, angry voice of their stage manager stopped him in his tracks. The voice was coming from inside a dressing room, and the door leading to the room was slightly ajar, so the voices could be heard clearly.
“You two filthy faggots!” the stage manager yelled from inside the room. Two voices that he recognized as a pair of their back-up dancers were apologizing profusely. The dancers sounded as if they were close to tears.
The manager had no mercy for them and continued loudly, “You are fired. What if somebody else had caught you? Caught you groping like a couple of filthy animals. It’s unnatural! It’s disgusting! We can not have Infinite tarnished by the sorry likes of you.”
WooHyun stood frozen, unable to move as the stage manager continued to lash out at the dancers. The words the stage manager used were not unheard of, no quite the opposite: they could be heard in almost every South Korean home when the topic of homosexuality came up. They could be heard in his home. Homosexuality was frowned on, and fiercely disapproved of…hated, shunned, and not tolerated. WooHyun knew this, and what the stage manager had said about tarnishing Infinite’s image was also true…so true. WooHyun knew this too, and still he had followed SungGyu into the supply room and allowed him touch him in ways that he should never have permitted.
“You filthy faggots! Your parents must regret the day they brought such vile trash into the world,” the stage manager told them in a voice full of contempt. The sounds of the dancer’s pleas for forgiveness were drowned out, and all WooHyun heard was hatred…hatred he never wanted aimed at him…at SungGyu…or Infinite. The stage manager was right, nothing must ever tarnish Infinite’s image…nothing.
A touch on his shoulder had Woohyun nearly jumping out of his skin, as he wheeled around to find Geonam Hyung. “Where have you been? Everybody else is already in the van. You better have a-”
“I’m not paying you squat. After I get done spreading the word about you filthy faggots, you will never work in this business again!” the stage manger yelled from inside the room, interrupting the manger’s rant at WooHyun.
WooHyun looked up guiltily at his manager, for once at a loss for a proper excuse. The manger looked down at him, shook his head, and gently pushed him down the hallway. “We need to get going.”
**************
“I don’t know how you keep from laughing,” Hoya told SungYeol, full of admiration. They were all sitting around a table at a fancy restaurant eating barbeque. Their reward for another successful, sold out concert.
SungYeol, who was sitting between L and Hoya, explained, “It’s simple: I’m a professional.”
“Did you just admit to being a professional tranny?” DongWoo asked from the other side of the table, causing SungYeol to pick up a piece of meat from his tray and fling it at him.
“You would make a very good one, hyung!” SungJong, who was sitting between SungGyu and DongWoo on the other side of the table, enthusiastically agreed.
SungYeol glared at SungJong and told him, “Next time you get to be the girl.”
“No, that won’t do,” L said quickly, winking at SungYeol and continuing in a flirtatious voice, “He doesn’t have the legs for it.”
SungYeol’s eyes lit up and he took the challenge. He wrapped an arm around L’s neck, and asked sweetly, “Do you like my legs?”
L gave SungYeol his best smarmy smile. There was once a time when SungYeol’s flirting could turn him beet red, but now L refused to give him the satisfaction. In their ongoing game of what the other members called gay chicken, L refused to lose. “I love them…they just go on and on.”
“Can we stop this shit? I’m trying to eat,” WooHyun, who was sitting by himself at the very end of the table, suddenly snapped.
Six pairs of eyes were immediately on WooHyun, whose foul mood had not escaped anyone’s notice. Since they had arrived at the restaurant, he had refused to talk to any of them. He had insisted on sitting away from them at the end of the table, looking glum.
“It’s all in fun, they are playing,” DongWoo told the younger man, trying to ease the tension.
“It might be cute on camera, but there aren’t any fans here to watch, so can you please spare us, and our stomachs,” WooHyun spat back hatefully.
SungYeol, who was studying WooHyun hard, said, “You sound awfully jealous to me. What have I told you boys about fighting over me?”
“You aren’t worth it?” Hoya answered drily, causing the entire table except for WooHyun and SungGyu to erupt in laughter.
WooHyun stared down at his food, his appetite gone. He could feel SungGyu’s eyes on him from the other end of the table, but he refused to meet his gaze. He hadn’t spoken to the other man since they had left the concert venue. He knew he was acting like an ass, but at least now SungGyu would know…know of his disapproval. “I’m going to the van,” WooHyun said, jumping up and leaving the room quickly to avoid SungGyu’s gaze.
All the members watched, feeling extremely puzzled as the normally good natured main vocal sulked off.
“What crawled up his panties and died?” SungYeol asked, turning his gaze to SungGyu. The other five members immediately did the same.
SungGyu stood up and looked down at his five members saying, “I’m not sure, but I’m about to find out.”
************
WooHyun opened the door to the van with a manager close behind him insisting, “You can’t stay out here by yourself. Go back in the restaurant.”
“Hyoan hyung, please just leave me alone. I won’t go anywhere,” WooHyun promised as he jumped into the van.
“You can’t stay out here. If something happened to you, I would get fired…do you want me to be fired? Do you want me to tell my mother that I was fired?”
“No,” WooHyun told the more dramatic of their managers. “I just need to be alone. I won’t open the door for anybody.”
WooHyun watched as the manager, who was only visible due to the parking lot lights, and the small amount of light the opened van door provided, held up his arms in total frustration. “Why aren’t you eating the barbeque? The barbeque is excellent! I would love to be eating it! Do you want me to starve?”
WooHyun shook his head at the manager’s dramatics. “Hyung, go back in there. I will be fine.”
Manager Hyoan pulled out his phone and threatened Woohyun, “I will call Geonam! He will make you go back inside.”
“No, don’t!” Woohyun pleaded, knowing he wouldn’t be able to talk Manager Geonam into letting him stay out in the van by himself.
“I’ve got this,” SungGyu said suddenly as he appeared beside the manager.
The manager was suddenly all smiles. “Thank God.”
“Go back inside and enjoy the good food, Hyoan Hyung,” SungGyu told the manager as he slid into the backseat of the van with WooHyun.
The manager, who completely trusted SungGyu, couldn’t keep from asking, “But you will be coming back in?”
SungGyu nodded his head. “Just give us a minute.”
“Just a minute?” the manager confirmed.
SungGyu smiled at the manager through the open door. “Yes, we will have to hurry back in, or all the food will be gone. It’s almost gone now.”
The manager turned away from the boys, and eyed the restaurant longingly. “Okay, just a minute…just a minute.”
“Just a minute,” SungGyu confirmed, and then shut the door of the van. SungGyu watched as the manager hurried back toward the restaurant.
WooHyun, who had clamped his mouth shut while SungGyu and the manager had spoken, scooted as far away from the leader as he could. SungGyu was the last person he wanted to be stuck with right now, but he knew better than to alert the manager to that fact. The managers controlled fighting in Infinite by keeping the bickering boys separated as much as possible till tempers cooled down, and WooHyun would only be separated from SungGyu at his own doing.
The light in the van shut off after the door was closed, and SungGyu could barely make WooHyun out in the vehicle, but he didn’t miss the distance that WooHyun had placed between them. “Is there something we need to talk about?”
WooHyun wanted to scream at SungGyu and his carefully controlled voice. How could he be so calm after what he did, WooHyun asked himself. “Talk? Well, that’s a nice concept, isn’t it? Yes, why don’t we talk about how you assaulted me?”
“Assaulted you?” SungGyu muttered in shock. He thought he had prepared himself for anything the younger man might throw at him, but he had been wrong. He had never imagined that he would be accused of such a thing, and not by WooHyun.
The words of the stage manager played in WooHyun’s mind and he declared in a voice full of anguish, “I’m not some filthy faggot!”
“Filthy faggot?” SungGyu repeated in a soft, disbelieving whisper.
“No,” WooHyun cried, feeling tears spill from his eyes as hurtful words fired out of his mouth, hitting their unsuspecting target. “I never wanted any of this! You just grab me and force yourself on me! You take advantage of our friendship! You used to say that you would wait for me to decide, but you never wait! First it was the kisses, and now this…no more, Hyung! No more!”
The silence in the car was deafening, and WooHyun waited for SungGyu to say something, anything. He kept waiting for him to easily dispute his hateful words. WooHyun might not have been the initiator but he had never resisted either. He kept waiting for SungGyu to challenge him, but the deafening silence just continued. He tried to wipe his eyes free of the blasted tears that would not stop coming. He hated the tears. Men didn’t cry like this, he told himself, but he couldn’t stop. He knew SungGyu would be hurt by his words, and he couldn’t bear the thought. He didn’t want to hurt his hyung, but he knew he had to put an end to whatever romantic notions SungGyu had about the two of them.
Minutes seemed to pass, and still SungGyu said nothing. He just sat there in the darkness not moving or saying a word. After what seemed like forever, he opened the door and quietly got out of the van. He gently shut the door behind him, and walked away without saying a word to the younger man. WooHyun bent over in his seat trying to fight the nausea that was suddenly overwhelming him.
**********************
“So what do you think is going on with them?” SungJong asked as he sat down on the bottom bunk in the room he shared with Hoya.
Hoya, who was going through his backpack on the floor, looked up at SungJong curiously. “Them?”
“SungYeol says Leader Gyu and WooHyun are fighting,” SungJong explained.
Hoya pondered SungJong’s words and asked, “Have you seen them fighting?”
“No, but SungYeol is usually right about these kinds of things,” SungJong insisted. “Plus, they didn’t sit together at the restaurant or on the drive back to the dorm.”
“That doesn’t mean anything. WooHyun didn’t sit with any of us at the restaurant, and SungGyu sat up front on the ride home.”
SungJong folded his arms and looked down at his older friend. “Something still doesn’t feel right…like the world is out of balance. I don’t like it when our parents fight.”
Hoya rolled his eyes and tossed a notebook up at his younger friend. “You crazy nut-”
“Kids in bed,” SungGyu told them, interrupting Hoya as he walked into the room doing his nightly rounds of his members. “We have to be at the radio station early. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow, get sleep while you can.”
“I’m not tired,” the maknae protested. Sometimes SungJong wondered why the company even bothered leaving a manager with them most nights, it really wasn’t necessary, not with SungGyu watching over them.
“I know you are still wired because of the concert, but try to sleep. We want to look good for our Japanese fans tomorrow. We fly out right after the radio show,” SungGyu reminded him as he walked over to the bed and patted SungJong on the head. “If you fall asleep now, you are only going to get three hours, but three hours is better than none.”
“We will sleep,” Hoya promised.
SungGyu smiled down at his dependable member sitting on the floor. “Good,” he told Hoya as he headed out of the room. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight Hyung,” Hoya and SungJong said in unison as the leader left the room, shutting the door behind him.
SungJong smiled in relief. “I guess SungYeol was wrong. He seems to be in a really nice mood.”
Hoya frowned, because the leader seemed almost somber to him. Had SungYeol been right? Were the main vocals fighting? “Yeah, he seems fine,” Hoya said, deciding to not voice his concerns till he had more to go on than a gut feeling.
SungJong got off the bottom bunk and climbed up to his top bunk. “I’m glad. I hate it when they fight.”
“They never fight for longer than five minutes,” Hoya replied as he zipped up his bag and stood up to flip off the light.
“I still hate it.”
Hoya nodded his head and agreed, “Me too.”
The door to their room flew open, and WooHyun stormed in announcing, “I’m sleeping in here tonight! Hoya, go take my bed.”
Hoya just stared at the older member surprised by the unexpected intrusion. WooHyun did not look good…he looked rattled.
“Why?” SungJong demanded from the top bunk.
“Because I said so.”
“It’s fine. I will go,” Hoya told them, maintaining the peace.
SungJong looked down at a very cranky looking WooHyun and whined, “Why can’t I go stay with Leader Gyu instead?”
“Because I said so!” WooHyun repeated again as he collapsed onto Hoya’s bed, wishing that the cursed day was over already.
SungJong looked at the exiting Hoya and pleaded with his eyes for the other member to not leave him alone with the grumpy main vocal. Hoya just grinned back at SungJong and turned off the light before exiting the room.
“We could both stay with dad,” SungJong said sulking, knowing how to irritate his already irritable hyung.
“If you start that mom and dad shit, I am going to jump up there and beat you. Do you hear me? I am more of a man than you’ll ever be!” WooHyun said with an unusual hardness to his voice that had SungJong shutting up fast.
SungJong jerked his covers up over him and cursed his luck. Why did the universe hate him? Why did he have to get stuck with the foul tempered WooHyun? Normally WooHyun was the peacemaker of the group, and as such he kept everything running smoothly. When SungGyu demanded too much of them and they all felt like breaking, WooHyun would step in and ease all the tension.
Not that SungJong thought WooHyun was perfect, because he didn’t think that at all. WooHyun could be terribly vain, and sometimes his teasing could turn ugly, but usually he was good-natured. SungJong always thought if Infinite were a family, then WooHyun would have been the mother. Which was odd because WooHyun was not feminine at all…he had muscles, and he was one of the most athletic members. No, his motherly role came mostly from SungJong placing SungGyu firmly in the father role. SungJong always saw the leader as the father of the group. He was older, had more experience, and he could be very stern at times, very much like a father. If SungGyu was going to have a wife among the members it would have to be WooHyun. Nobody else was as close to him, and nobody else could cool his rage, and handle him so easily.
It was a fact that SungGyu and WooHyun ruled the group together. DongWoo might be older, but WooHyun had taken his spot as second in command. SungGyu and WooHyun were always a pair in Sungjong’s eyes. No other two members could anger him so much, but like parents their presence also provided him with comfort in the worst of times. If SungGyu and WooHyun were the parents of the group, then DongWoo was the nice, goofy uncle everybody loved. SungJong frowned in the dark; more than aware, however distasteful, that he and SungYeol filled the roles as daughters. They weren’t girls, but they were definitely not as masculine as Hoya and L, who would take up the roles of sons.
SungJong often spoke of the group as a family, and he called SungGyu and WooHyun mom and dad just to annoy them. SungGyu didn’t take it nearly as badly as WooHyun did. Then again, SungGyu didn’t take on the role of the mother.
SungJong rolled on his side and wondered what had WooHyun so upset. He couldn’t ever remember WooHyun refusing to stay in the same room as the leader. They had all fallen asleep in rooms that were not their own, but this was not the same. SungYeol was clever, very little escaped his notice, and SungJong trusted SungYeol’s instincts.
Although SungGyu and WooHyun were unusually close, they were also very different people. SungJong thought that if WooHyun could bleed for Infinite he would. The younger main vocal loved the group, probably more than any of them did. WooHyun could be terribly vain at times, but he always put the group first.
SungGyu…well, SungJong knew that Infinite was not his dream. The leader had other dreams, big dreams that had failed to come true, so instead of finding himself the star vocal in a rock band…he found himself the leader of an idol group. Sometimes SungJong wondered if SungGyu loved Infinite at all, or if he had just resigned himself to his fate. SungJong knew that the leader felt an immense sense of responsibility: for the group, the members, and the group’s future.
SungJong never feared that SungGyu would leave them, because his mother had once told him that love can be fleeting, but the feelings that inspire a sense of responsibility, duty, obligation, and loyalty…are all ingrained into the very fiber of a person’s being, making up his character. Love can fade, but the feelings that inspire a person’s character will linger on, when all else is lost.
SungJong closed his eyes and tried to force the worrisome thoughts from his head. He prayed that when he woke up, their five minutes of fighting would be over, and all would be right with the group.
******************
When Hoya entered the leader’s bedroom he found SungGyu sitting on his bed, leaning against the wall, looking like he had lost his best friend. “Hyung,” Hoya said softly as he approached the bed.
SungGyu closed his eyes, and then reopened them quickly, giving his younger member a weak smile. “Do you need something, Hoya?”
Hoya shook his head, and explained, “WooHyun took my bed, and told me to come stay with you.”
The weak smile completely faded. “Okay. Turn off the light, so we can get some sleep. We have to be at the radio station early, and then we have to fly to Japan. Tomorrow is full of activities, so sleep while you can.”
Hoya quickly obeyed his leader. He turned the light off and climbed up to the top bunk. He pushed all the pictures that WooHyun had of himself on the bed to the side. He didn’t know what was going on between the two older boys, but he knew his leader was suffering.