Bed or Roses, Chapter Six
Title Bed of Roses
Author: Aquariuslover
Pairings: SungGyu/WooHyun
Rating: R
Genre: Friendship, Love, Humor, Angst
Length: Chaptered
Beta: tahoeturquoise
A/N Special thanks todolphinchic my great sounding board for all my stories. Also thanks to all that comment! Oh, and this my most favorite version of 'Only Tears.' SungGyu you break my heart.
Summary: WooHyun’s perfect life…his bed of roses is tossed into disarray when SungGyu makes a bold move changing their friendship forever.
Previous Chapters
“Are you texting him again?” L asked WooHyun. The group was at basketball game, with WooHyun sitting between Hoya and L. They were performing at halftime.
WooHyun stopped texting and asked L, “What if he is having surgery or something?”
From WooHyun’s other side Hoya rolled his eyes at the overly dramatic main vocal. “You just spoke with him an hour ago; he said he was fine and that he was on his way.”
“You worry too much,” L told WooHyun.
WooHyun continued texting and informed the two rational boys he sat between, “Maybe he was lying. If he was fine, then why isn’t he replying to my texts? Maybe he didn’t want us to worry?”
“Or maybe he is just ignoring you, because you are so annoying? It’s not like he has to report his every movement to you…you’re not his wife,” SungYeol said from the bench behind L.
WooHyun turned around and glared up at the taller boy. “I don’t think I asked for your input.” WooHyun’s aggravation at SungYeol had only grown since practice.
“Hey, you two need to remember we are surrounded by people,” DongWoo, who was sitting behind Hoya, warned.
“He started it,” SungYeol insisted.
“I started it? That’s just ripe coming from you. You start all kinds of stuff. We are like puppets for you to manipulate for your own amusement. I’m on to you,” WooHyun fumed.
SungYeol lowered his head to speak where only the members could hear him. “You are just overly sensitive right now. It’s not my fault SungGyu is ignoring you, now is it?”
“He isn’t ignoring him,” Hoya declared, exasperated. “He’s probably busy. He will be here any minute.”
SungJong, who was sitting behind WooHyun and had also been on his own phone, said miserably, “He won’t reply to me, either. We were so mean to him yesterday, and he had to go the hospital because of his back.”
“I wasn’t mean,” DongWoo quickly reminded everybody.
“You guys are acting crazy. He’s fine. It isn’t the first time he has had to have his back looked at. If he wasn’t okay he would let us know,” Hoya insisted.
WooHyun turned to face Hoya and demanded, “Then why is he ignoring both me and SungJong?”
“Because I have my hands full,” SungGyu, who had arrived unbeknownst to the bickering members, answered.
DongWoo stood up instantly and made room for SungGyu to squeeze in between him and SungJong on the bleachers. “Hyung, what did the doctor say?”
“It was just a muscle, nothing serious. I just have to take some muscle relaxants for a couple of days, and I will be fine,” SungGyu said as he sat down with a bottle of water and a large container of popcorn. DongWoo and SungJong instantly grabbed a handful of popcorn each.
“That’s good,” L said as he turned around to get some popcorn.
SungGyu watched as all the members except for WooHyun helped themselves to his popcorn. “I knew it was just a muscle, but the boss wanted to make sure.”
“It’s better to be safe,” Hoya told the leader before he popped a handful of popcorn into his mouth.
“Yeah,” SungGyu told the lead dancer as he handed over what was left of his popcorn to SungJong. SungGyu eyed the back of WooHyun’s head. The other main vocal was sulking. He had texted and called SungGyu a total of fifteen times since the older boy had left for the hospital. SungGyu had only replied once.
DongWoo nudged SungGyu and cast his eyes down at the WooHyun, and said, “It’s good that you are here now. Some of us can stop worrying so much, and enjoy the game.”
SungGyu nudged DongWoo back and gave him a warm smile, understanding the other boys meaning. The leader leaned down and wrapped his arms around the neck of WooHyun, who sat in front of him, and whispered, “Were you worried?”
“No,” WooHyun lied.
“I was,” SungJong quickly added. “Hyung, did you see all the times I called you?”
“Yes, I did, but I was busy getting shuffled around so I couldn’t reply. Thank you for being concerned for me. I’m really sorry I worried you.”
“It’s okay,” SungJong told the leader, and popped another handful of popcorn in his mouth.
SungGyu, who still had his arms wrapped around WooHyun’s neck, asked the pouting younger man, “What about you? Do you forgive me?”
WooHyun, who was trying really hard not to bask in the attention he was getting from the older boy, tried his best to sound harsh, “No, I don’t like being ignored.”
“I know you don’t, and I promised to be better,” SungGyu whispered into WooHyun’s ear.
WooHyun closed his eyes tightly, loosing his battle to remain angry. “You did…but you haven’t been better today. Nothing has changed.”
“Aren’t I being better now?” SungGyu asked with his arms still wrapped around WooHyun.
WooHyun couldn’t help but smile, and replied, “Yeah, but why did he want to see you?”
“I will tell you later, it’s not something I should discuss here…” SungGyu paused, tilted his head to wink at L, who was obviously eavesdropping, “not with nosey members listening in.”
WooHyun chuckled and L turned away quickly, embarrassed to be caught. “Later then,” Woohyun told SungGyu.
“Are we good?” the leader asked his best friend.
“We are good.”
“Well, it’s about time,” SungGyu said as he sat back in his seat, but he kept his hands on WooHyun’s shoulders, gently massaging them. “So, who is winning?”
**************
“Why…why…how… does he know?” WooHyun managed to get out. The last couple of days had been so wonderfully normal that WooHyun had forgotten to ask SungGyu about what the CEO had questioned him about. Only pure boredom during a late night flight to Taiwan had given him time to remember to question the leader about his mysterious meeting with the CEO.
As soon as WooHyun asked the question, SungGyu had gotten up from his seat beside him, and directed him to the back of the plane. They sat down in the very last row. The nearest people to them were four rows in front, and they were an elderly couple who had showed no sign of recognizing them. There SungGyu had explained that the CEO was worried about the state of their relationship.
WooHyun, who was still shocked that SungGyu would discuss such a thing with anybody much less their boss, whispered, “So he knows…he knows…you like…he knows…”
“He knows.”
“Like knows?”
“He knows I like guys.”
WooHyun raised his hand up to the top of his chest, covering his heart, fearful that it would thump out of his chest. “Why would you tell him that?”
“Because I was joining his company, and it’s the truth. I didn’t want something coming out later on, and throwing him for a loop. He was giving me a chance; I owed him the truth,” SungGyu explained as he watched the anxious younger member.
“So…he knew from the very beginning?”
“Yeah.”
WooHyun turned to stare at SungGyu and blurted out, “And he still let you join?”
SungGyu inhaled a deep breath, and answered, “Yes, he’s a very open minded person.”
“But it could ruin everything…such a great risk. Not to mention making you the leader of the group,” WooHyun stated, still mystified that the CEO would take such a risk with his company.
SungGyu folded his arms and searched for his endless patience and found his supply dangerously low. “I guess he thought this filthy faggot was worth the risk.”
“No, no!” WooHyun declared, reaching over to unfold SungGyu’s arms and grasp both of the leader’s hands in his own. “None of that, I am just surprised. Of course you are worth it. I just can’t help being a-”
“A prejudiced prick?” SungGyu smarted back, fighting the urge to jerk his hands free.
“Stop, I know I came off wrong; but you know I care for you.”
“Yes, in spite of my obvious faults.”
WooHyun leaned his head back and groaned. “Just like you care for me despite all my faults…despite how sometimes I say the wrong things, and hurt you, when it’s the last thing I want to do.”
SungGyu sighed and found his reserve supply of endless patience and said, “Yes, I care…even when you are a prejudiced prick.”
“Okay, I will take that…I deserve it, but I was just surprised that even from the very beginning he would take that risk. I’m not being prejudiced, I’m being realistic.”
SungGyu pulled his hands free of WooHyun’s and admitted, “I was really shocked too, back then. I won’t lie.”
“See.”
“You just sound so awful at times, like you think all gay people should be shipped off to some deserted island together.”
WooHyun reached over and squeezed SungGyu’s wrist and told him, “You are being stupid. You know if I shipped you off to some deserted island I’d have to go with you. I could never be without you.”
SungGyu shook his head, pulled his wrist free of Woohyun, and informed him, “You know, you sound way gayer than I ever have.”
“I do not.”
“I could never be without you,” SungGyu quoted while side-eying WooHyun. “What straight man says that to his best friend?”
“I do.”
SungGyu eyed WooHyun suspiciously and took a risk. “I guess being on an island full of gay men wouldn’t be so bad, come to think of it.”
“What?” WooHyun asked, alarmed. “Where did that come from?”
The leader leaned back in his seat, crossed his legs, and forced a smarmy grin on his face, worthy of WooHyun himself and said, “Oh, I was just thinking about all the fun I could have. It’s been a long time…if you know what I mean.”
WooHyun tried his best to sound casual, “Well, it wouldn’t be just men…there would be lesbians, too.”
“Oh, I’m not prejudiced. If the lesbians wanted to give me a go, I’d be willing. I like to keep my options open.”
“I thought you just claimed to like guys?”
SungGyu shrugged. “I prefer men, but I’ve dabbled with both.”
WooHyun clenched his fists, and struggled to remain calm, and asked, “Then why were you so mad when I suggested we marry sisters?”
SungGyu’s eyes were fixated on WooHyun’s clenched fists, now. He fought the urge to smile and answered, “Because if I were ever serious enough to marry somebody, I would never share them. I would never share somebody I was in love with…that I was committed to. The very thought of them being with somebody else would drive me insane.”
“Not even with me?”
SungGyu looked up to WooHyun, stared him in the eye and said truthfully, “Never with you. If things were different; if you loved me back…like I love you, I’d never share you with anybody, nor would I ever want anybody else…ever.”
WooHyun swallowed nervously and quickly turned away from SungGyu’s intense gaze. “Th..that…isn…isn’t…what I meant…you shouldn’t say things like that to me,” WooHyun managed to stammer out.
“I know.”
“I don’t like it.”
“I know.”
“Back to the CEO knowing…what else did you talk about?” WooHyun asked, changing the subject as he readjusted himself in his seat.
SungGyu knew better than to tell the always suspicious WooHyun about the planned night off. “I told him that you had rejected me.”
“And?”
“I told him that you were annoying the hell out of me by insisting that everything stay the same…for example, how I can’t keep you out of my bed at night.”
“You did not!”
“I did.”
“What did he say?” WooHyun gasped.
“That you are immature, something about you following me around like a puppy, and he doesn’t think you meant to call me a filthy faggot,” SungGyu told WooHyun, suddenly not feeling very charitable with the younger man’s feelings.
WooHyun punched SungGyu in the arm, causing the other man to wince and jerk his arm back. “I did not call you a filthy faggot!”
SungGyu held his arm and snapped, “Forgive me, I forgot; you said you weren’t a filthy faggot…I guess I’m a clean one?”
“Why are you fighting with me? We have been getting along so well. Why are you suddenly being like this?” WooHyun demanded.
“Because I think you are lying to me!”
“Lying to you?”
“Yes,” SungGyu said as he reached out and grabbed WooHyun’s hand tightly. “I get angry when I think…you are torturing me needlessly.”
WooHyun tried to jerk his hand away, but the leader held on tightly. “I’m not.”
“But I think you are. WooHyun, I’m not an idiot…well, usually I’m not one. I know I have been very affectionate with you over the years. I know sometimes you’ve recoiled, but the majority of the time you didn’t. Those times you did recoil, I always thought…no, I knew it wasn’t because you were uncomfortable with me, but you were uncomfortable with the thought of other people finding out.”
“Let me go,” WooHyun pleaded.
SungGyu shook his head and brought his other hand up to WooHyun’s cheek and told him earnestly, “If you are scared…if something has scared you, just tell me. I would rather know the truth. I won’t pressure you into anything. I just can’t handle thinking I was a fool for so long…that’s too much. Just tell me the truth. I promise I won’t be angry with you, if you just tell me the truth.”
WooHyun closed his eyes, and repeated the mantra that played in his head, “I’m not gay.”
“You are lying,” SungGyu told him, not releasing his hold on the younger man. “I should have never believed you from the start.”
“No, you are lying to yourself,” WooHyun told the leader. “You mistook my love for you…for something it wasn’t. When I think about us…we are always friends. Maybe I am a puppy that follows after you, but puppies don’t follow out of lustful desire…do they? No, they do not.”
SungGyu’s hand fell from WooHyun’s cheek as doubt started creeping in again. “You are not a puppy.”
“No, but I’m not in love with you, either,” WooHyun told SungGyu as he pulled his hand free.
SungGyu turned back to sit in his seat correctly, and faced the back of the seat in front of him. He tried his best to control his spiraling emotions before he told the younger man in a rough tone of voice, “You should go back and sit with the others.”
“You said you wouldn’t be angry with me.”
“I said I wouldn’t be angry if you told me the truth,” SungGyu said, correcting WooHyun. “Unfortunately, you continue to lie to me.”
WooHyun also faced the seat in front of him and said, “No, you just want desperately for me to be lying, so you have convinced yourself I must be.”
“Just go.”
“No, we are stronger together. I know this hurts your pride…that you are disappointed in me. I know you want to lash out at me, and that’s okay, I can take it. I will take anything as long as it means staying your friend.”
“No, not anything,” SungGyu said bitterly. “We both know you have your limits.”
WooHyun, who was still staring at the back of the seat in front of him, assured the leader, “No, I would do anything…anything if the only other option was losing you. I can’t lose you.”
SungGyu jerked his head in WooHyun’s direction and the look of fear on the younger man’s face shot straight to his heart, and all his anger and disappointment vanished. “Hey, I’m sorry. Don’t talk like that…I’d never ask that of you.”
“I know.”
SungGyu reached out and patted WooHyun’s leg innocently and told him, “I am being a jerk. I think my pride is getting the best of me…thank you for only hitting me once.”
WooHyun turned around to instantly deny that he had hit him, but the sight of his hyung rubbing his arm where it had been punched earlier stopped him. “I’m sorry.”
“I kinda deserved it,” the older boy said with a grin on his face, forcing himself to be who WooHyun needed him to be. “I’m sorry, too.”
WooHyun reached out his hand for SungGyu and told him, “Best friends.”
SungGyu took the extended hand and promised, “Always.”
******************
“He is being greasier than normal,” DongWoo told Hoya and SungGyu, who were sitting with him at a table in the back room behind the stage. They were between fan meets and eating from the small buffet the promoter had set up for them.
SungGyu’s eyes darted to the corner where WooHyun was chatting with the pretty, young translator. “She’s awfully pretty,” SungGyu said without a trace of jealousy in his voice. “You can’t really blame him.”
“No; I doubt he is kissing up to her because he is interested in her. He wants to make sure he gets all the good quotes at the next fan meeting,” Hoya surmised. “Who better to kiss up to than the translator?”
“I don’t know, he looks pretty interested,” DongWoo pointed out as he watched WooHyun laughing and flirting with the young woman.
“Who?” SungJong asked as he and L sat down at the table with them.
“WooHyun and the translator,” Hoya explained. “I still think he’s just kissing up so she will make him look especially good at the fan meet.”
“Probably,” L agreed as he picked up his chop sticks. “Looks like SungYeol also wants to join in,” L added as he watched SungYeol walk over and join them.
“I should probably go over there too,” SungJong said as he watched the three of them. “They are sneaky, but they are smart.”
DongWoo shook his head, and advised, “I wouldn’t bother; she only has eyes for WooHyun. I don’t think she has even noticed SungYeol yet.”
“She’s giving him her number,” SungJong said with a frown as he watched WooHyun pull out his phone.
L just shook his head and turned to look at SungGyu. “He knows better than that.”
“I will happily tell the manger,” SungJong said with a bright smile.
“Hey now, we don’t rat on each other. We are a team,” DongWoo chastised.
SungJong puffed out his cheeks, and whined, “Hyung, you are no fun.”
“He’s probably just pretending to take it,” L, who was still watching SungGyu, reasoned. “He wouldn’t risk the fans finding out. He doesn’t want one girl…he wants a million fans…err girlfriends that all love him.”
“Yep, that’s our Namstar,” Hoya confirmed and then stuffed a dumpling in his mouth.
“I am going to check the stage; see how everything is going,” SungGyu said as he got up abruptly from the table.
L looked down at SungGyu’s plate. “Hyung, you didn’t even eat half of your food.”
“I know that most likely I will eat later tonight at the hotel, so I better watch how much I eat now. You all should be careful, too,” SungGyu warned. “Nobody likes fat idols.”
“So true,” SungJong groused. “They complain that we are too skinny and work too hard, but if we gain two kilograms they start going on about us being chubby.”
“You sound like my mom,” DongWoo said, amused by the maknae. “The fans make her so mad at times.”
“Well, I for one will just have to work out extra hard tomorrow, because this food is too good to pass up,” Hoya informed them as he continued to dig in.
DongWoo nodded his head in agreement. “Me, too.”
“Okay, I will let it slide this once; enjoy,” SungGyu told them with a big grin as he walked away.
SungJong watched as the leader left the room and asked, “Does he seem sad to you?”
“No,” Hoya answered. “He seems fine.”
“You know he’s always hardest on himself,” L added, but his eyes lingered on the doorway that the leader had exited through. “I am glad he’s letting us eat, because the food really is excellent.”
“Does he seem sad to you?” DongWoo asked SungJong concerned for his friend.
SungJong shook his head. “Not really, but I can’t help thinking about what SungYeol said a couple days ago…about him being rejected.”
“SungYeol is full of bull,” Hoya replied with a mouthful of noodles. “WooHyun said so himself.”
DongWoo agreed, noticeably relieved, “Yes, that is true; WooHyun would know. Those two tell each other everything.”
“I guess so,” SungJong reluctantly agreed.
***************************
SungJong had stuffed only a third of his food down before he had gotten up to go in search of their leader. Something about SungGyu worried SungJong. The leader seemed absolutely fine, but still something nagged at the back of his mind. He headed for the stage, but found it empty. He had started to search the small concert hall when the sound of a piano being played in the near distance caught his attention. The chords being played were familiar, and soon a much beloved voice filled the air.
SungJong entered the small music room to find the leader sitting at the piano, totally absorbed in his song. SungJong stood in the doorway and listened as SungGyu sang of a hopeless love with painstaking heartbreaking emotion. SungJong felt tears forming in his eyes, as the leader’s emotions touched something deep inside of him. The leader had always sung with all his heart, and for that reason SungJong had always loved his voice. SungGyu sang like he laughed, with his whole body. The song he sang now was one that he had always sung especially well, but something was different now. SungGyu’s voice was filled with a palpable sadness that reached out and encompassed SungJong, making him feel like his own heart was breaking.
“Hyung,” SungJong cried out as soon as the song ended and headed toward the startled leader, who hadn’t known he had an audience.
“SungJong,” SungGyu said with surprise as the maknae came up from behind him and hugged him tightly. “What’s wrong?”
SungJong pulled away from the leader, sat down on the piano bench beside him and blurted out the question that was consuming him. “Hyung, who broke your heart?”
“Why would you ask that?” SungGyu asked, shocked by the question.
SungJong wiped his eyes and explained, “SungYeol said that you had confessed to somebody and you had been rejected.”
“What? Tell me everything. When did he say this?” SungGyu asked, alarmed. Had SungYeol betrayed him?
“At practice the other day…we thought he was lying. WooHyun said he was lying and not to believe him, but still I wondered. Then WooHyun said not to ask you about it…that it might upset you. But it was the truth wasn’t it? SungYeol wasn’t lying, was he?”
“SungJong, did he say who I confessed to?”
SungJong shook his head and leaned against his elder. “No, he didn’t tell us who she was, but I hate her. You should tell me who she is. I won’t let her get away with making you so sad.”
SungGyu sighed in relief and wrapped an arm his concerned maknae. “You would get her, huh?”
“Yes, she’s obviously stupid.”
The leader closed his eyes and said sadly, “No, not stupid.”
“So, it’s true?”
“I won’t lie…I’ve been rejected before, and it’s never easy. You cannot make somebody love you back. People can’t help how they feel,” SungGyu explained as he let go of SungJong.
“I still hate her.”
SungGyu started tapping on the piano keys lightly, playing ‘Only Tears’, and told the young man, “Dongsaeng, if we didn’t get our hearts broken, then there wouldn’t be any sad songs. Unrequited love makes for beautiful music.”
“Were you just now thinking of her? You were, weren’t you? You sounded so sad.”
SungGyu frowned and answered the younger man as honestly as he could, “I was thinking of someone. Someone I love very much…someone who says they don’t return my feelings. I won’t lie to you, I’m sad…sad that this dream won’t come true.”
“Hyung, you shouldn’t have dreams that don’t come true.”
SungGyu’s hands continued to gently glide over the piano keys, and he answered, “It’s not my first dream that failed to come true.”
“Your dream of being in a rock band…I know it didn’t come true.”
SungGyu nodded his head and smiled at the maknae. “But that’s okay, I would much rather hang out with you guys. Infinite…Infinite…will not have dreams that do not come true. We will achieve great things…great things if we work really hard.”
“Great things,” SungJong agreed. “And you, Hyung, you will fall in love again. I know you will. You will fall in love with somebody worthy of you. Unlike this stupid person, your new love will love you back.”
SungGyu chuckled at the protective younger man and said wistfully, “I hope so, I really hope so.”
Author: Aquariuslover
Pairings: SungGyu/WooHyun
Rating: R
Genre: Friendship, Love, Humor, Angst
Length: Chaptered
Beta: tahoeturquoise
A/N Special thanks todolphinchic my great sounding board for all my stories. Also thanks to all that comment! Oh, and this my most favorite version of 'Only Tears.' SungGyu you break my heart.
Summary: WooHyun’s perfect life…his bed of roses is tossed into disarray when SungGyu makes a bold move changing their friendship forever.
Previous Chapters
“Are you texting him again?” L asked WooHyun. The group was at basketball game, with WooHyun sitting between Hoya and L. They were performing at halftime.
WooHyun stopped texting and asked L, “What if he is having surgery or something?”
From WooHyun’s other side Hoya rolled his eyes at the overly dramatic main vocal. “You just spoke with him an hour ago; he said he was fine and that he was on his way.”
“You worry too much,” L told WooHyun.
WooHyun continued texting and informed the two rational boys he sat between, “Maybe he was lying. If he was fine, then why isn’t he replying to my texts? Maybe he didn’t want us to worry?”
“Or maybe he is just ignoring you, because you are so annoying? It’s not like he has to report his every movement to you…you’re not his wife,” SungYeol said from the bench behind L.
WooHyun turned around and glared up at the taller boy. “I don’t think I asked for your input.” WooHyun’s aggravation at SungYeol had only grown since practice.
“Hey, you two need to remember we are surrounded by people,” DongWoo, who was sitting behind Hoya, warned.
“He started it,” SungYeol insisted.
“I started it? That’s just ripe coming from you. You start all kinds of stuff. We are like puppets for you to manipulate for your own amusement. I’m on to you,” WooHyun fumed.
SungYeol lowered his head to speak where only the members could hear him. “You are just overly sensitive right now. It’s not my fault SungGyu is ignoring you, now is it?”
“He isn’t ignoring him,” Hoya declared, exasperated. “He’s probably busy. He will be here any minute.”
SungJong, who was sitting behind WooHyun and had also been on his own phone, said miserably, “He won’t reply to me, either. We were so mean to him yesterday, and he had to go the hospital because of his back.”
“I wasn’t mean,” DongWoo quickly reminded everybody.
“You guys are acting crazy. He’s fine. It isn’t the first time he has had to have his back looked at. If he wasn’t okay he would let us know,” Hoya insisted.
WooHyun turned to face Hoya and demanded, “Then why is he ignoring both me and SungJong?”
“Because I have my hands full,” SungGyu, who had arrived unbeknownst to the bickering members, answered.
DongWoo stood up instantly and made room for SungGyu to squeeze in between him and SungJong on the bleachers. “Hyung, what did the doctor say?”
“It was just a muscle, nothing serious. I just have to take some muscle relaxants for a couple of days, and I will be fine,” SungGyu said as he sat down with a bottle of water and a large container of popcorn. DongWoo and SungJong instantly grabbed a handful of popcorn each.
“That’s good,” L said as he turned around to get some popcorn.
SungGyu watched as all the members except for WooHyun helped themselves to his popcorn. “I knew it was just a muscle, but the boss wanted to make sure.”
“It’s better to be safe,” Hoya told the leader before he popped a handful of popcorn into his mouth.
“Yeah,” SungGyu told the lead dancer as he handed over what was left of his popcorn to SungJong. SungGyu eyed the back of WooHyun’s head. The other main vocal was sulking. He had texted and called SungGyu a total of fifteen times since the older boy had left for the hospital. SungGyu had only replied once.
DongWoo nudged SungGyu and cast his eyes down at the WooHyun, and said, “It’s good that you are here now. Some of us can stop worrying so much, and enjoy the game.”
SungGyu nudged DongWoo back and gave him a warm smile, understanding the other boys meaning. The leader leaned down and wrapped his arms around the neck of WooHyun, who sat in front of him, and whispered, “Were you worried?”
“No,” WooHyun lied.
“I was,” SungJong quickly added. “Hyung, did you see all the times I called you?”
“Yes, I did, but I was busy getting shuffled around so I couldn’t reply. Thank you for being concerned for me. I’m really sorry I worried you.”
“It’s okay,” SungJong told the leader, and popped another handful of popcorn in his mouth.
SungGyu, who still had his arms wrapped around WooHyun’s neck, asked the pouting younger man, “What about you? Do you forgive me?”
WooHyun, who was trying really hard not to bask in the attention he was getting from the older boy, tried his best to sound harsh, “No, I don’t like being ignored.”
“I know you don’t, and I promised to be better,” SungGyu whispered into WooHyun’s ear.
WooHyun closed his eyes tightly, loosing his battle to remain angry. “You did…but you haven’t been better today. Nothing has changed.”
“Aren’t I being better now?” SungGyu asked with his arms still wrapped around WooHyun.
WooHyun couldn’t help but smile, and replied, “Yeah, but why did he want to see you?”
“I will tell you later, it’s not something I should discuss here…” SungGyu paused, tilted his head to wink at L, who was obviously eavesdropping, “not with nosey members listening in.”
WooHyun chuckled and L turned away quickly, embarrassed to be caught. “Later then,” Woohyun told SungGyu.
“Are we good?” the leader asked his best friend.
“We are good.”
“Well, it’s about time,” SungGyu said as he sat back in his seat, but he kept his hands on WooHyun’s shoulders, gently massaging them. “So, who is winning?”
**************
“Why…why…how… does he know?” WooHyun managed to get out. The last couple of days had been so wonderfully normal that WooHyun had forgotten to ask SungGyu about what the CEO had questioned him about. Only pure boredom during a late night flight to Taiwan had given him time to remember to question the leader about his mysterious meeting with the CEO.
As soon as WooHyun asked the question, SungGyu had gotten up from his seat beside him, and directed him to the back of the plane. They sat down in the very last row. The nearest people to them were four rows in front, and they were an elderly couple who had showed no sign of recognizing them. There SungGyu had explained that the CEO was worried about the state of their relationship.
WooHyun, who was still shocked that SungGyu would discuss such a thing with anybody much less their boss, whispered, “So he knows…he knows…you like…he knows…”
“He knows.”
“Like knows?”
“He knows I like guys.”
WooHyun raised his hand up to the top of his chest, covering his heart, fearful that it would thump out of his chest. “Why would you tell him that?”
“Because I was joining his company, and it’s the truth. I didn’t want something coming out later on, and throwing him for a loop. He was giving me a chance; I owed him the truth,” SungGyu explained as he watched the anxious younger member.
“So…he knew from the very beginning?”
“Yeah.”
WooHyun turned to stare at SungGyu and blurted out, “And he still let you join?”
SungGyu inhaled a deep breath, and answered, “Yes, he’s a very open minded person.”
“But it could ruin everything…such a great risk. Not to mention making you the leader of the group,” WooHyun stated, still mystified that the CEO would take such a risk with his company.
SungGyu folded his arms and searched for his endless patience and found his supply dangerously low. “I guess he thought this filthy faggot was worth the risk.”
“No, no!” WooHyun declared, reaching over to unfold SungGyu’s arms and grasp both of the leader’s hands in his own. “None of that, I am just surprised. Of course you are worth it. I just can’t help being a-”
“A prejudiced prick?” SungGyu smarted back, fighting the urge to jerk his hands free.
“Stop, I know I came off wrong; but you know I care for you.”
“Yes, in spite of my obvious faults.”
WooHyun leaned his head back and groaned. “Just like you care for me despite all my faults…despite how sometimes I say the wrong things, and hurt you, when it’s the last thing I want to do.”
SungGyu sighed and found his reserve supply of endless patience and said, “Yes, I care…even when you are a prejudiced prick.”
“Okay, I will take that…I deserve it, but I was just surprised that even from the very beginning he would take that risk. I’m not being prejudiced, I’m being realistic.”
SungGyu pulled his hands free of WooHyun’s and admitted, “I was really shocked too, back then. I won’t lie.”
“See.”
“You just sound so awful at times, like you think all gay people should be shipped off to some deserted island together.”
WooHyun reached over and squeezed SungGyu’s wrist and told him, “You are being stupid. You know if I shipped you off to some deserted island I’d have to go with you. I could never be without you.”
SungGyu shook his head, pulled his wrist free of Woohyun, and informed him, “You know, you sound way gayer than I ever have.”
“I do not.”
“I could never be without you,” SungGyu quoted while side-eying WooHyun. “What straight man says that to his best friend?”
“I do.”
SungGyu eyed WooHyun suspiciously and took a risk. “I guess being on an island full of gay men wouldn’t be so bad, come to think of it.”
“What?” WooHyun asked, alarmed. “Where did that come from?”
The leader leaned back in his seat, crossed his legs, and forced a smarmy grin on his face, worthy of WooHyun himself and said, “Oh, I was just thinking about all the fun I could have. It’s been a long time…if you know what I mean.”
WooHyun tried his best to sound casual, “Well, it wouldn’t be just men…there would be lesbians, too.”
“Oh, I’m not prejudiced. If the lesbians wanted to give me a go, I’d be willing. I like to keep my options open.”
“I thought you just claimed to like guys?”
SungGyu shrugged. “I prefer men, but I’ve dabbled with both.”
WooHyun clenched his fists, and struggled to remain calm, and asked, “Then why were you so mad when I suggested we marry sisters?”
SungGyu’s eyes were fixated on WooHyun’s clenched fists, now. He fought the urge to smile and answered, “Because if I were ever serious enough to marry somebody, I would never share them. I would never share somebody I was in love with…that I was committed to. The very thought of them being with somebody else would drive me insane.”
“Not even with me?”
SungGyu looked up to WooHyun, stared him in the eye and said truthfully, “Never with you. If things were different; if you loved me back…like I love you, I’d never share you with anybody, nor would I ever want anybody else…ever.”
WooHyun swallowed nervously and quickly turned away from SungGyu’s intense gaze. “Th..that…isn…isn’t…what I meant…you shouldn’t say things like that to me,” WooHyun managed to stammer out.
“I know.”
“I don’t like it.”
“I know.”
“Back to the CEO knowing…what else did you talk about?” WooHyun asked, changing the subject as he readjusted himself in his seat.
SungGyu knew better than to tell the always suspicious WooHyun about the planned night off. “I told him that you had rejected me.”
“And?”
“I told him that you were annoying the hell out of me by insisting that everything stay the same…for example, how I can’t keep you out of my bed at night.”
“You did not!”
“I did.”
“What did he say?” WooHyun gasped.
“That you are immature, something about you following me around like a puppy, and he doesn’t think you meant to call me a filthy faggot,” SungGyu told WooHyun, suddenly not feeling very charitable with the younger man’s feelings.
WooHyun punched SungGyu in the arm, causing the other man to wince and jerk his arm back. “I did not call you a filthy faggot!”
SungGyu held his arm and snapped, “Forgive me, I forgot; you said you weren’t a filthy faggot…I guess I’m a clean one?”
“Why are you fighting with me? We have been getting along so well. Why are you suddenly being like this?” WooHyun demanded.
“Because I think you are lying to me!”
“Lying to you?”
“Yes,” SungGyu said as he reached out and grabbed WooHyun’s hand tightly. “I get angry when I think…you are torturing me needlessly.”
WooHyun tried to jerk his hand away, but the leader held on tightly. “I’m not.”
“But I think you are. WooHyun, I’m not an idiot…well, usually I’m not one. I know I have been very affectionate with you over the years. I know sometimes you’ve recoiled, but the majority of the time you didn’t. Those times you did recoil, I always thought…no, I knew it wasn’t because you were uncomfortable with me, but you were uncomfortable with the thought of other people finding out.”
“Let me go,” WooHyun pleaded.
SungGyu shook his head and brought his other hand up to WooHyun’s cheek and told him earnestly, “If you are scared…if something has scared you, just tell me. I would rather know the truth. I won’t pressure you into anything. I just can’t handle thinking I was a fool for so long…that’s too much. Just tell me the truth. I promise I won’t be angry with you, if you just tell me the truth.”
WooHyun closed his eyes, and repeated the mantra that played in his head, “I’m not gay.”
“You are lying,” SungGyu told him, not releasing his hold on the younger man. “I should have never believed you from the start.”
“No, you are lying to yourself,” WooHyun told the leader. “You mistook my love for you…for something it wasn’t. When I think about us…we are always friends. Maybe I am a puppy that follows after you, but puppies don’t follow out of lustful desire…do they? No, they do not.”
SungGyu’s hand fell from WooHyun’s cheek as doubt started creeping in again. “You are not a puppy.”
“No, but I’m not in love with you, either,” WooHyun told SungGyu as he pulled his hand free.
SungGyu turned back to sit in his seat correctly, and faced the back of the seat in front of him. He tried his best to control his spiraling emotions before he told the younger man in a rough tone of voice, “You should go back and sit with the others.”
“You said you wouldn’t be angry with me.”
“I said I wouldn’t be angry if you told me the truth,” SungGyu said, correcting WooHyun. “Unfortunately, you continue to lie to me.”
WooHyun also faced the seat in front of him and said, “No, you just want desperately for me to be lying, so you have convinced yourself I must be.”
“Just go.”
“No, we are stronger together. I know this hurts your pride…that you are disappointed in me. I know you want to lash out at me, and that’s okay, I can take it. I will take anything as long as it means staying your friend.”
“No, not anything,” SungGyu said bitterly. “We both know you have your limits.”
WooHyun, who was still staring at the back of the seat in front of him, assured the leader, “No, I would do anything…anything if the only other option was losing you. I can’t lose you.”
SungGyu jerked his head in WooHyun’s direction and the look of fear on the younger man’s face shot straight to his heart, and all his anger and disappointment vanished. “Hey, I’m sorry. Don’t talk like that…I’d never ask that of you.”
“I know.”
SungGyu reached out and patted WooHyun’s leg innocently and told him, “I am being a jerk. I think my pride is getting the best of me…thank you for only hitting me once.”
WooHyun turned around to instantly deny that he had hit him, but the sight of his hyung rubbing his arm where it had been punched earlier stopped him. “I’m sorry.”
“I kinda deserved it,” the older boy said with a grin on his face, forcing himself to be who WooHyun needed him to be. “I’m sorry, too.”
WooHyun reached out his hand for SungGyu and told him, “Best friends.”
SungGyu took the extended hand and promised, “Always.”
******************
“He is being greasier than normal,” DongWoo told Hoya and SungGyu, who were sitting with him at a table in the back room behind the stage. They were between fan meets and eating from the small buffet the promoter had set up for them.
SungGyu’s eyes darted to the corner where WooHyun was chatting with the pretty, young translator. “She’s awfully pretty,” SungGyu said without a trace of jealousy in his voice. “You can’t really blame him.”
“No; I doubt he is kissing up to her because he is interested in her. He wants to make sure he gets all the good quotes at the next fan meeting,” Hoya surmised. “Who better to kiss up to than the translator?”
“I don’t know, he looks pretty interested,” DongWoo pointed out as he watched WooHyun laughing and flirting with the young woman.
“Who?” SungJong asked as he and L sat down at the table with them.
“WooHyun and the translator,” Hoya explained. “I still think he’s just kissing up so she will make him look especially good at the fan meet.”
“Probably,” L agreed as he picked up his chop sticks. “Looks like SungYeol also wants to join in,” L added as he watched SungYeol walk over and join them.
“I should probably go over there too,” SungJong said as he watched the three of them. “They are sneaky, but they are smart.”
DongWoo shook his head, and advised, “I wouldn’t bother; she only has eyes for WooHyun. I don’t think she has even noticed SungYeol yet.”
“She’s giving him her number,” SungJong said with a frown as he watched WooHyun pull out his phone.
L just shook his head and turned to look at SungGyu. “He knows better than that.”
“I will happily tell the manger,” SungJong said with a bright smile.
“Hey now, we don’t rat on each other. We are a team,” DongWoo chastised.
SungJong puffed out his cheeks, and whined, “Hyung, you are no fun.”
“He’s probably just pretending to take it,” L, who was still watching SungGyu, reasoned. “He wouldn’t risk the fans finding out. He doesn’t want one girl…he wants a million fans…err girlfriends that all love him.”
“Yep, that’s our Namstar,” Hoya confirmed and then stuffed a dumpling in his mouth.
“I am going to check the stage; see how everything is going,” SungGyu said as he got up abruptly from the table.
L looked down at SungGyu’s plate. “Hyung, you didn’t even eat half of your food.”
“I know that most likely I will eat later tonight at the hotel, so I better watch how much I eat now. You all should be careful, too,” SungGyu warned. “Nobody likes fat idols.”
“So true,” SungJong groused. “They complain that we are too skinny and work too hard, but if we gain two kilograms they start going on about us being chubby.”
“You sound like my mom,” DongWoo said, amused by the maknae. “The fans make her so mad at times.”
“Well, I for one will just have to work out extra hard tomorrow, because this food is too good to pass up,” Hoya informed them as he continued to dig in.
DongWoo nodded his head in agreement. “Me, too.”
“Okay, I will let it slide this once; enjoy,” SungGyu told them with a big grin as he walked away.
SungJong watched as the leader left the room and asked, “Does he seem sad to you?”
“No,” Hoya answered. “He seems fine.”
“You know he’s always hardest on himself,” L added, but his eyes lingered on the doorway that the leader had exited through. “I am glad he’s letting us eat, because the food really is excellent.”
“Does he seem sad to you?” DongWoo asked SungJong concerned for his friend.
SungJong shook his head. “Not really, but I can’t help thinking about what SungYeol said a couple days ago…about him being rejected.”
“SungYeol is full of bull,” Hoya replied with a mouthful of noodles. “WooHyun said so himself.”
DongWoo agreed, noticeably relieved, “Yes, that is true; WooHyun would know. Those two tell each other everything.”
“I guess so,” SungJong reluctantly agreed.
***************************
SungJong had stuffed only a third of his food down before he had gotten up to go in search of their leader. Something about SungGyu worried SungJong. The leader seemed absolutely fine, but still something nagged at the back of his mind. He headed for the stage, but found it empty. He had started to search the small concert hall when the sound of a piano being played in the near distance caught his attention. The chords being played were familiar, and soon a much beloved voice filled the air.
SungJong entered the small music room to find the leader sitting at the piano, totally absorbed in his song. SungJong stood in the doorway and listened as SungGyu sang of a hopeless love with painstaking heartbreaking emotion. SungJong felt tears forming in his eyes, as the leader’s emotions touched something deep inside of him. The leader had always sung with all his heart, and for that reason SungJong had always loved his voice. SungGyu sang like he laughed, with his whole body. The song he sang now was one that he had always sung especially well, but something was different now. SungGyu’s voice was filled with a palpable sadness that reached out and encompassed SungJong, making him feel like his own heart was breaking.
“Hyung,” SungJong cried out as soon as the song ended and headed toward the startled leader, who hadn’t known he had an audience.
“SungJong,” SungGyu said with surprise as the maknae came up from behind him and hugged him tightly. “What’s wrong?”
SungJong pulled away from the leader, sat down on the piano bench beside him and blurted out the question that was consuming him. “Hyung, who broke your heart?”
“Why would you ask that?” SungGyu asked, shocked by the question.
SungJong wiped his eyes and explained, “SungYeol said that you had confessed to somebody and you had been rejected.”
“What? Tell me everything. When did he say this?” SungGyu asked, alarmed. Had SungYeol betrayed him?
“At practice the other day…we thought he was lying. WooHyun said he was lying and not to believe him, but still I wondered. Then WooHyun said not to ask you about it…that it might upset you. But it was the truth wasn’t it? SungYeol wasn’t lying, was he?”
“SungJong, did he say who I confessed to?”
SungJong shook his head and leaned against his elder. “No, he didn’t tell us who she was, but I hate her. You should tell me who she is. I won’t let her get away with making you so sad.”
SungGyu sighed in relief and wrapped an arm his concerned maknae. “You would get her, huh?”
“Yes, she’s obviously stupid.”
The leader closed his eyes and said sadly, “No, not stupid.”
“So, it’s true?”
“I won’t lie…I’ve been rejected before, and it’s never easy. You cannot make somebody love you back. People can’t help how they feel,” SungGyu explained as he let go of SungJong.
“I still hate her.”
SungGyu started tapping on the piano keys lightly, playing ‘Only Tears’, and told the young man, “Dongsaeng, if we didn’t get our hearts broken, then there wouldn’t be any sad songs. Unrequited love makes for beautiful music.”
“Were you just now thinking of her? You were, weren’t you? You sounded so sad.”
SungGyu frowned and answered the younger man as honestly as he could, “I was thinking of someone. Someone I love very much…someone who says they don’t return my feelings. I won’t lie to you, I’m sad…sad that this dream won’t come true.”
“Hyung, you shouldn’t have dreams that don’t come true.”
SungGyu’s hands continued to gently glide over the piano keys, and he answered, “It’s not my first dream that failed to come true.”
“Your dream of being in a rock band…I know it didn’t come true.”
SungGyu nodded his head and smiled at the maknae. “But that’s okay, I would much rather hang out with you guys. Infinite…Infinite…will not have dreams that do not come true. We will achieve great things…great things if we work really hard.”
“Great things,” SungJong agreed. “And you, Hyung, you will fall in love again. I know you will. You will fall in love with somebody worthy of you. Unlike this stupid person, your new love will love you back.”
SungGyu chuckled at the protective younger man and said wistfully, “I hope so, I really hope so.”