Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,
Jack fell down and broke his crown,
And Jill came tumbling after.
Up got Jack, and home did trot,
As fast as he could caper,
He went to bed and bound his head,
With vinegar and brown paper.

I'm not sure I like the Elves that have moved in. There are now little pairs of shoes lying around all the place, and someone decided to copyedit the latest edition of the Quibbler. I don't think they're very well versed in English, though. They changed all the "where"s to "were"s, and there are now fragmented sentences all over printing press. ( Read more... )

But it is rather cold.

I was sitting in my garden this afternoon when I realised that I had a mango tree. I didn't think that you could grow mangoes in Scotland, but I decided to have a few... Delicious! Much better than the ones that get imported by portkey from Australia, they always have a strange, slightly bitter taste to them. Of course, imported fruits have all ( Read more... )

I didn't order the maggots, though.

Thank you.

I've got a box of dead rats. I fed some of them to the rottweilers, though, so it's a half-full box. Does anyone want a half-full box of rats? I've put a freezing charm on them to keep them fresh, but I might just end up burying them under the Gazebo if nobody wants them. I don't think the charm to remove stains from clothing worked either, as you ( Read more... )

Would anyone like to buy some rats? I've got a box full of them. I think most of them are still alive, though I can't really tell. Quite a few of them got covered in red ink, though, when I was trying to pick them all up. One of them bit me, too, but I think that was the one that accidentally got squashed with one of my Father's old boots ( Read more... )

The rats are still living in the back of my wardrobe. I took out my nice velvet overcoat this afternoon, and it was covered in strange writing in green and red pen. What does "(p/2)2 + (p/2)2 ¹ (p/2)2" mean? It's all Coptic to me. I really must do something about those rats, though. Does anyone know a good piper? Or someone good with animal ( Read more... )

I don't suppose gnome heads or headless gnomes have any use in Potions. Does anybody wish to buy about sixty headless gnomes and their associated heads? I'm missing a few heads, actually. I suppose I should tally them up and work out which head goes with which body, but I'm not sure that I could be bothered ( Read more... )