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every heart has so much history;
it's my favorite place to start.
sit down a while and share your narative with me,
i'm not afraid of who you are.i've been busy. lots of things that make me individually content or happy, but past everything i'm still a very sad, self-destructive girl. i haven't been home all week except at nights when i clean and ( Read more... )

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my life is irony in its highest form. you have no idea. and you have no idea how painful my life is ( Read more... )

i need another job.. so i can move out. far away. our nice (and super hot/cute) waitress at olive garden last night told me she would get me a job there. long hours but that's a good thing i guess. she kept complementing me though and my mom commented that she was hitting on me and how we would make a cuter couple than phil & i ..but she was drunk ( Read more... )

The air was perfect, tonight. To describe it flawlessly would be impossible, but it was as if it was an amazing mix of a soft yellow haze, pure silence, Cape Cod beaches, the perfect song, gray misty evenings spent in my old treehouse with my doll, Linnea, and the safeness found in Monet's water lily paintings (my grandma loved them and I, in turn ( Read more... )

skipping work today. much, much too sick for that. i can't walk by myself anymore. i'm beginning to hate this room and being locked in here alone for days on end.

( thank you, God )

i'm not aware of how i could possibly love you without aching.
love hurts. a whole lot and makes me want to cry even more than the fever does. will anyone trade hearts with me? because mine is broken and it keeps having heart butterflies anyways (not the good kind).

when i am afraid, i will trust in you. -psalm 56:3
well i trust you Lord but i'm scared. so.. help?

( heh, davey was right - i could remember it :)

scars versus Jesus. i need to pick the right one but my flesh doesn't want to. and i don't have the energy to fight it.

help. the breathing stopped again.

fever.
panic-attack. freezing. coughing. shaking. bleeding. terrified. depressed.
..but alone. at least this time i'm alone. but now they know what it's like.