Special Kingdom

[kanu_x]

Edited: 2012.11.28

Title: Special Kingdom
Feature/Pairing: Arashi, Ohmiya, JunAiba, Yama (onesided)
Rating: PG (incest, language)
Genre: romance, historical fiction (everything is purely fictional!!)
Summary: Mostly thoughts, memories, and some plot in First Person from different characters.
Trouble in the Royal Court. How will the five: Satoshi, Sho, Masaki, Kazunari, and Jun deal?
Part: 6&7/7
A/N: The end of My first Arashi fic. *o*
anticlimatic? (Sorry Sho, Nino took all the climax)
Sho explains (because he's so good at it ^.^ ) and sums it all up.
(Ah, but I just love Sho here best, even if he's not my ichiban.)


Characters: (##) = age
only those in red are important
Royal Family: *#=order of birth
Emperor Ohno IV (69)
Wife #1 (60)
*1 --> Daughter1 (42)
Wife #2 (54)
*2 --> Daughter2 (38)
*4 --> Son2/Second Prince (29-30) Ohno SATOSHI
Wife #3 (53)
*3 --> Son1/Heir (32)
*7 --> Daughter4 (27)
*8 --> Daughter5 (20)
Wife #4 (44)
Wife #5 (45)
*5 --> Daughter3 (29)
*6 --> Son3/Third Prince (27) Ninomiya KAZUNARI
Wife #6 (34)
*9 --> Son4/Fourth Prince (05)
Others:
Royal Scholar - Sakurai SHO (29)
Royal Guard - Matsumoto JUN (27)
Commoner - Aiba MASAKI (28)

1-Emperor Ohno IV
2-Ohno Satoshi
3-Aiba Masaki
4-Matsumoto Jun
5-Ninomiya Kazunari

* * *

Sakurai Sho:
My first love is a foreigner; a girl with blonde hair, light complexion, blue eyes, and the sweetest voice. I wanted to confess to her, but I did not have the words. Her father, an adventurous man, moved the family away after a few months. I never saw her again. It was so frustrating. I delved into my studies.

My father is a Royal Court Official. We are a Noble family whose ties with the Royal Family extends way back. Because I pursue a Scholarly title, my father and I do not get along. He want me to take over his position in the future. I have no intention of doing such a thing.

The atmosphere around us grow cold and my father and I make great efforts to avoid one another. Through my hardest times, it is my best friend a commoner Aiba Masaki who helps me through it. He is the greatest thing that has happened to me. I think I would have given in to my father if I did not have Masaki.

Then the tension around my father and I ease when I turn thirteen because my brother is born. Finally, my father had his heir.

The first time I meet Ohno Satoshi, the seeds of my love for him are planted. I can tell he will not remember our first encounter. For me, it is a precious memory. For him I know it's just another day. Aiba Masaki had not yet pulled his stunt of breaking in. I am all alone with no friends after I entered the Palace.

That first time, Satoshi comes strolling into the archives. Immediately, I know who he is. His rich clothing can be identified from far away. I hesitate to approach him. I've met the First Prince, so I immediately guessed that he is the Second Prince. I wonder if they will be the same. I'll never voice it out for it is treason, but the Heir is one person I hope I don't often meet. The good thing is I feel he’s not the type to ever come to the archives.

I watch the Second Prince struggle for a bit before I decide to help. A few meters behind him, as is the respectable distance for Royalty, I ask, "Can I be of help, your highness?"

He shows no surprise. Rather, he turns to me making a face that is not at all proper for Royalty. He's frowning and pursing his lower lip. I remember immediately thinking, Ah he's cute. At the time, we were around the same height but he who was older looked much more mature. I was shy.

He says one word to my question, "Fishing."

I find it unique for him to state it so short. Rather than arrogant like his brother, he seems unsociable. He does not speak at all as I search for his scrolls. I feel a little uncomfortable at first, but as soon as I have the right documents in my hand and turn around, he is right there beside me. Despite the rule about respectful distance, he's very close.

"Ah, is this it?" he asks and I nod vigorously as I hand them over. Happiness shines on his face, like a little child. My heart jumps. I've never seen anyone this happy over something so small.

"Thank you," he says, as if it wasn't common for him to get anything he wants. Then he strolls away as quietly as he had come. The boy had left my heart fluttering and he doesn't even realize!

Our friendship grows steadily. We spend most of our time in the archives. I become acquainted with Jun Matsumoto, an honorable Royal Guard, and the Third Prince Kazunari. These are the best of times, the moments in the archives. On the lucky days, it is the Princes, Masaki, and I. Jun comes to greet us. Because we are all young, we know this will not last. Our own very different futures await us, which is why we treasure these moments. It is as if we live in our very own special kingdom.

But of course, all is not always shining. We each have our very own problems.

One day Kazunari came to me for help. I must have been around twenty-four then and he only twenty-two. Yet, he tells me he has accumulated a fortune and owns land somewhere, not land given him as a present from the Emperor. He didn't know what to do with it. How had he done it without anyone noticing?

Despite that fact, I immediately understand why he had done so. Kazunari is planning for his future. When the Emperor dies and the Heir becomes king, he will have no more value to the Empire. Then, the Heir will have complete control. Kazunari, who will not tolerate being under the control of his despicable half-brother, will need some place to go.

I reason all of this out, that is why his next statement surprises me. He says he no longer wishes to move there. He will stay in the Palace forever. Kazunari has no more need of his private palace. The reason he has come to me is to figure out the best way to rid of it!

I process it and thought, What has changed his mind? I know Kazunari have always wanted independence. The fact that he chooses to remain in the Palace is unimaginable. Until now.

I give him my best advice. His land and accommodations, his fortune, is his alternative. Just having a choice, in case he changes his mind or when in an emergency he requires a place to go, having a safe-house is valuable. It is worth keeping. Although Kazunari appears disturbed by my response, he deems it logical. Only he and I have come to know of its existence and whereabouts.

All my problems are because of my own bad luck, I believe.

I adore Satoshi. My affections only grow with time. I fight the urge to touch him daily. Because my height and body mass soon surpassed his, I had thought I could finally protect him. In the end, these feelings only causes me regret because I realize that I cannot do much for Satoshi as he plunges forth into the darkness of politics. There is nothing I can do. Satoshi does not love me. I am only a friend, a companion, a trusted advisor and supporter. I hate myself for wanting more. Always more.

He laughs in his own clueless, careless way. I want him to keep on like that forever. Before I realize, I have already decided to wait for the day that Satoshi notices me. Each morning, I wake up still a friend. It is frustrating, but I walk forward. I make sacrifices for Satoshi. He isn't aware, but to me that does not matter. I just hope that I'll never lose control of myself and hurt him. I won't ever hurt Satoshi. One day, on the right day, I'll confess my love.

Just a few years later, I must have been twenty-seven then. I realize that Satoshi has gotten a bit more cheerful. It is not as if he's been depressed, but I notice that his steps have lightened. Around two years ago, he had frightened me by rarely smiling. This day, he laughs so easily, it is hard to imagine him before.

Kazunari and he comes into the archives together. I had not seen the Third Prince for a week, so I was glad he had accompanied Satoshi this time. Masaki isn't here. Jun isn't either. It is just the three of us. We have a long, joyful conversation until it is time for Satoshi to leave. Kazunari decides to follow.

I watch their backs as they exit and see the Third Prince close the gap between them. I feel envy well up in my heart as he proceeds to take Satoshi's hand. If only I could entangle our fingers together that easily. Kazunari can do things I can't. He is the one who stands beside Satoshi as an equal. I cannot help the sadness that overwhelms me.

Only two years have passed since then. I keep on believing that I will make a difference to Satoshi.

The Blooming Ceremony turns into a disaster. The Heir dies and Masaki is accused of murder and treason. My best friend is in danger. At first, disbelief and shock washes over me. Not because of Masaki, but because I cannot believe how things change in an instant. Yet, I've felt a certain kind of restlessness in the atmosphere for days, even months ago. Why did I not think that something might be wrong?

While I freak out in the archives, Kazunari and Satoshi at my back, Jun comes to the window. He shows on his face what I am feeling. I've always guessed that Jun and Masaki had a bond, but I had not thought it significant. Jun's expression told me otherwise.

He whispers, "The Emperor and Counselors... they were worried. Did they guess?" As he had come, he walks away. Like a ghost.

He sets me worrying. What does he mean? Had the Emperor and Counselors felt what I felt?
I cannot understand. I shake my head. Worry about this later, Sho. My first priority is Masaki. I have to get him out somehow. I turn to Kazunari and Satoshi. Kazunari's wits have returned. He is as sharp as ever while Satoshi dazes off to his side. I want to run to him and wrap my arms around him, tell him everything is okay, but I don't. I walk over and begin talking to Kazunari.

"We have to get Masaki out of there."

"How?" he asks. I know he's racking his brains too.

"I don't know," I answer, because I really don't. There is no proof of his innocence, even if we all know he is. "I'll go talk to the Grand Scholar. I'll find what proof they require to set him free." At the start of my training in the Palace, I had been assistant to the Grand Scholar. He has a position within the Counsel that may help us.

I initiate my plan the next night.

As I reach the Red House, the building of the Counselor's meeting, I see Jun enter before me. I wonder if he had come with the same idea. If so, then it would be better that we go together. However, I do not want to intrude now, so I decide to stay outside until he is done.

It does not take long for Jun to reappear from the meeting room. I wonder what had transpired. His face is dark. I've never seen Jun look so angry. He is so absorbed in his thoughts, he fails to see me. Curious, I decide to follow him. Had he appealed to the Counselors and they turned him down? Then that means I will also not make a difference. I have to know what had occurred in that meeting.

Jun steps outside and walks to the deserted courtyard. He stares up at the moon. I see him tearing up and stay in the shadows. My own gloom descends.

"How can you do this to him!? What does that say about me who are protecting you!? How can you send an innocent man to die in your place?!" He keeps on, throwing his fury and disappointment into the darkness.

I absorb the outcry. A wave of shock hits me and leaves me horrified. The Counselors and King had done it. It is a conspiracy. There is no way out. In the shadows, I lean against the wall for support. There is no way to help Masaki. There is no way to save him.

I do not know how long I stayed there, but when I look up, Jun is already gone. I stumble back to my own quarters. My head whirls with this new information. I cannot give up. I have to find a way to get through. With this thought in mind, I fall into an uneasy slumber.

And I wake to disorder. Matsumoto Jun, a Royal Guard, had confessed. He had taken the blame for Aiba Masaki. His sacrifice astonish me into speechlessness. As soon as the Princes heard the news, they came running to me.

"Dammit! He's only made it worse," Kazunari mutters. "He's actually confessed. There's no way Matsumoto will go back on his words and deny it."

Satoshi does not speak, probably horrified into silence. I want so much to comfort him, but I hold myself back. Looking at his expression, I decide to withhold the information I've attained. I cannot tell Satoshi that his own government had abused their power and had been planning to send an innocent man to his death. I know this information will hurt him. He loves the Emperor. He believes in this system too much. For once, I begin to hate this world of politics. Of lies, conspiracies, and betrayal.

Soon, both leaves. Alone, I am still shaken. What can be done? My whole body shivers.

It takes only another day for the news to reach the public. Masaki sends a note saying he will come in by the gate. I do not agree with him coming. Does he not know he's still in danger here? They can at any moment take both Jun and Masaki as accomplices. If then, what would Jun's sacrifice be for?

As the whole Palace prepares for the Heir's funeral and wagons go back and forth through the gate, I wait anxiously for Masaki. I finally see him when he comes to the line entering the Palace. He thankfully has a cloak and hood on. The soldiers taking care of traffic allow me, a Scholar, to lead him inside without problem.

"What are you doing?" I hiss as I pull him along.

"I want to see him," he says. "Take me to the dungeon."

The Guards watching the dungeons are very good friends of Jun who believes in his innocence. They give way to Masaki who Jun has given his life for.

Inside, it is very dim, but there is light streaming through the barred windows. Without waiting for me, Masaki rushes forward to Jun's cell.

"Masaki!" I shout, hoping he doesn't overreact and do something stupid, but he just fall to his knees in front of his former cell. "Matsujun!"

At his voice, Jun jerks awake.

I stay back and observe the prisoner. He is not injured, but he is weak. Very weak. They are not feeding him properly. Because he is a Guard and thus marked as dangerous, he is chained to the stone wall behind him.

Masaki reaches out to Jun, but in vain. Jun Matsumoto is too weak to battle the chains.

I feel my throat constrict as I watch.

Jun looks up tiredly through his bangs. "Masaki, you idot."

Masaki doesn't say anything. He is crying. He still tries to reach forward, through the bars, trying to reach Jun. I am near tears myself and almost tell him to stop. I can see how much it is hurting Jun.

Jun speaks up instead. "Don't..." He forces himself to raise his head and meet my eyes. "Sakurai, take him away. His arm...its not healed yet."

I finally understand. Masaki's shoulder is pressing against the bars as he's reaching forward. His wound has opened. I see his blood soaking his cloak. All this time, Masaki hasn't noticed. He doesn't feel it.

"Masaki," I croak. "Come on. Let's go."

He vehemently shakes his head. Finally, his arms lower. He grips the bars instead and hides his face. I stand there, feeling inadequate as Masaki cries until his eyes wear out. I want to tell him to stop, for us to go. Can't he see that Jun's hurting? Masaki's tearing and Jun can't comfort him. He's sad too, Masaki.

I don't do anything. What right do I have to break them apart? I had nothing to lose.

When Masaki silences, I force myself to drag him away. Jun looks at us, but he does not speak. He has nothing left to say.

It is almost dusk outside. We find Kazunari waiting for us. One look at Masaki's red eyes and he understands.

I hold Kazunari's gaze and mutter, "We need to get him away."

He knows what I mean. We had to get Masaki away from danger. Away from himself and the Palace.

"No. No!" Masaki cry. He turns and hold the front of my robes. "I can't leave."

We ignore him. Kazunari answers, "My place. Away from here. You remember, don't you? I'll let him stay there."

Masaki had no say in the matter.

The Heir's funeral was gloomy and dark, but the truth is, no one really mourned. He was a cruel, devious, and hated man. Even his wife had despised him. Ohno Satoshi was the only one who grieved at his loss. Yet, in the end it is still more out of self-pity. We all knew what was coming.

After the meeting with the Counselors and Emperor, he comes into the archives where Kazunari and I had been waiting impatiently. Satoshi confirms our fear; he is now Heir. I am not surprised, but sadness descends over me. For the rest of my life, I will be an assistant to the Heir and then Emperor. That is all I am going to be.

Satoshi walks out first, followed later by Kazunari. I try to clear my head. Jun should be top priority. He will hang in two days. I have to help him out. I had promised Masaki. More importantly, I cannot let Jun down.

I sit at my study trying to focus. By nightfall, I am searching through the various scrolls of our history when a knocking at the door startles me. I had not gone back to my quarters and had stayed in the archives, locking it for the night. The sudden visitor did not surprise me, just the knock. There is only Kazunari and Satoshi who would come here looking for me at this hour. I guessed it to be Kazunari. He will be restless.

However, it is Satoshi at the door. He stares at me with that blank face and asks in a monotone if he can come in. I realize I am blocking the doorway and hastily move aside.

Before he even reaches my study, Satoshi blurts out, "I need to get out."

"What do you mean?" I ask, closing the door behind me and following.

Satoshi goes to stand by his usual chair but does not sit down. He appears to be fidgeting. "He... he said something about-- about a type of weed."

I take Satoshi by the shoulders and force him to meet my eyes. He calms down, if only for a bit.

"Satoshi, who said what?"

He stares into my face and says, "The Emperor. He has found a way for me to die."

His statement chokes me at first. My heart almost stops. But then I made him sit down and explain.

He does not want to rule. He does not have the capacity or the skills to run the Empire. Satoshi had a private chat with the Emperor and had told him so. After a long conversation in which Satoshi would have it no other way, the Emperor relented.

I had always known that the Emperor loved Satoshi best of all his children, but it amazed me how easily he gave up for his son while the Empire's future hung on the line.

"I told him I would never be happy," Satoshi tells me in a quiet voice. "He understood."

That was why a plan was required to throw Satoshi out of the way and save Jun at the same time.

I point out at that moment that Kazunari will be Heir then, and the Third Prince has absolutely no intention of ruling. Satoshi shakes his head at me and says he has gotten Kazunari out of it. How? He wouldn't say. Kazunari's secret.

"I want to find a way out. I want to be with Kazunari."

He did not even know that he had dropped a bomb.

All that we had been saying, planning before flew from my head. I hear nothing else. My focus narrows down to just Satoshi. "You mean..."

He blinks at me, not understanding my frustration.

He does not need to repeat himself. I heard clearly. I find it harder to breathe. My lungs refuse to work. I reach across my desk with shaking fingers and softly touch Satoshi's cheek.

"Satoshi... what-- what did you say?"

Fear crosses his face as he finally realizes that something is wrong. "I want to be with Kazunari."

Unbelievable.

My hand drops down. "Sa-Satoshi." The words won't even come. After all this waiting, this is what it finally comes down to. After all that's been happening, this is the final blow. I feel pain in my chest. "Do you know…?” No. I should stop myself. Of course he doesn't. He doesn't know about my feelings. I'm going to hurt him. "Do you know how much I love you?"

Shock register in his eyes.

I hate myself, but my pain is intense. I can't think anymore this night. I have to get away as far as possible or I will hurt Satoshi. I don't want to hurt him. I am in pain, but I still want to protect him.

My feet takes me out of the archives before I am even aware. I am suddenly inside my quarters and it is all dark around me. I had left Satoshi there all alone with my revelation. It won't change a thing. I'm too late. Just my own bad luck.

Jun might be in danger. Satoshi might need help. But tonight is my night. A time only for me.

I climb onto my bed and muffle my sobs as I cry. Those cracks had formed and now my heart has broken.

In the morning, it is a fresh start. I seek out Satoshi, my eyes still sore, and we plan together. We continue on as we had yesterday as if I had not confessed and then walked off. My chest aches and I feel heavy. I want to hide, but no. I am a strong person. My friends still need me. I will not disappear.

"Kazunari has a place to go. We have already sent Masaki there. Kazunari can go with Jun and we can all meet there afterwards."

"All?" Satoshi asks. He raises an eyebrow and the fact that I want to touch his face pains me. I force a smile on my face.

"Yes, us all. I will not stay here."

The plan was for Satoshi to confess for the murder of the Heir. It will make sense, in a way. The Second Prince who wants to be Heir commits murder for the title. But I ask him how he will escape death by the executioner's hand. Finally, he explains his statement last night.

"The Emperor told me to ask for your help. A plant which is a secret from all but the Emperor, Grand Scholar, and his assistant. A weed that will make you die."

I had only the smallest idea what he is referring to. Below the archives is a secret chamber of which only a select few knew of. We search until we find what we are looking for.

I open an ancient scroll.

"This is Death Weed," I tell Satoshi who is standing beside me. "I've only seen it once. It says here that it brings you close to death. The user will be in a death-like state for twenty-four hours. However, taking the weed causes so much pain, some users prefer death. Some never come out of their coma or they actually die. Others are crippled for life because some of their internal systems are injured by the weed and never healed. There may also be negative side-effects for a while."

"It's my only choice," he states solemnly.

"Satoshi," I begin, hating the idea and wanting to persuade him to think of another way, but he shakes his head. He has made up his mind.

With the sample of Death Weed which was kept in the scroll, we make our way to the ground floor again. As we ascend, I say, "Why? Why would the Emperor cave in so easily? I understand how much he loves you, Satoshi, but that's not the only reason, is there?"

The Second Prince gives me a wane smile. "He wants to start over. He'll raise an Heir who is capable. Brother Four will be a good ruler. He is the best one." He looks far away, as if remembering something. "Mother Six will help raise her son properly."

I want to ask him more, but decides not to. Satoshi looks as if he doesn't want to continue. We reach the archives again.

As we debate on how to proceed, Kazunari walks in angrily. He instantly grabs Satoshi and slams him up against the wall.

I panic. I do not know what's going on and takes a step forward to help free Satoshi, but then I stop. Angry tears had fallen from Kazunari's eyes. I had never seen him angry. I had never thought he was capable of crying.

But of course, Satoshi loves him. Maybe Satoshi knew a side of him that I did not. I turn my eyes to the ground.

After a few exchanges, Kazunari releases his older brother.

"I hate you!" he screams at Satoshi. I see the pain that distorts Satoshi's cool face. My own heart aches.

Kazunari begins to storm away, but he has already shaken Satoshi. He runs and wraps his arm around Kazunari from behind.

I watch them and I try to breathe.

"Don't hate me," Satoshi murmurs. My resolve kicks in. I cannot let Satoshi down. I push my own feelings aside and steps in front of Kazunari.

"Tomorrow, Jun will go with you."

"How?" he asks me.

I glance at Satoshi. He still has his face buried in Kazunari's neck. He will not look up.
I do not want to be the one telling the plan. "Go to your palace and land where Masaki is."

Kazunari is not satisfied, but that will have to do. Satoshi breaks their skinship first and the only thing he can do was walk away. I watch the two part and the fact that Satoshi is so unhappy about it seems to even hurt me. Stupid Sho, you root even for your rival, the winner.

By evening, Satoshi had confessed to the murder of the Heir. Jun is released. We expect him and Kazunari to leave before any trouble starts, but everything does not go according to plan.

As Satoshi grabs the Emperor to use for a hostage, I look at the faces of the Counselors. They are unhappy. They have not planned for this. For once, the Emperor who has always been under their thumb, has them fooled. I rejoice at this checkmate and run to find Kazunari. He needs to leave. Now. He cannot see Satoshi die. He cannot know of what Satoshi has done. Probably he'd kill me for allowing Satoshi to make such a choice and sacrifice.

I cannot find him anywhere. Finally, when I am close to losing my mind, I see him storming out of Satoshi's house. Instantly, I call for him.

He is confused. I tell him to run. I need to get back to Satoshi quickly. What if something goes amiss and they grab him before he can carry out the plan?

I leave Kazunari by the wall and run for the archives.

The sight that greets me scares me. Soldiers, Guards, even the Counselors crowd outside, their torches blazing, their weapons gleaming in the dark night.

"Where have you gone?" the Grand Scholar scolds me.

"I am close to the Heir, please let me enter and reason with him," I quickly say.

He thinks this out logically.

"What can you do?" he asks.

"He'll feel safe with me. I can calm him down."

Finally, I am let through. Satoshi sits inside, frightened. The Emperor is by his side, calm.

"You know what you have to do," I tell Satoshi. "Let's begin this act."

We all nod together.

As the Emperor and I watch, Satoshi pours the Death Weed into his cup and adds water. The contents slowly mix. I can see that Satoshi is shaking. I need to calm him down. There is no way out now.

"There is no choice. It is that or death by the executioner's hands."

Satoshi has heard me, but that does not mean he is still not afraid. But he will do it. I know he will.

To my horror, I hear a voice call out my name from behind. I turn and see Kazunari. He has not left. As I stand frozen, I see his eyes dart pass me to the scene. He quickly assesses it and understands the situation.

My heart jumps. I need to save the plan! Satoshi has not noticed yet. I had to stop Kazunari.

Satoshi raises the cup to his lips. He shakes uncontrollably. And then he drinks. I see Kazunari run forward. Instinctively, I block his way with my arms. He cannot pass. He can not deter Satoshi. He is strong, but I am stronger. I hold him tightly in my arms as he struggles.

"Satoshi!" he shouts.

I can understand him. I can almost feel Kazunari's disbelief. "Kazunari! There is no other way!" Please, believe in us. We lie to you because there is no other choice. He freezes. He does not even look at me. His eyes have been on Satoshi all this time.

I turn to look at what he's seeing.

The Emperor is somber. He knows he would never see his second son again. "Go quietly, our son. We hope you find happiness in your next life." A life without a title. A life without these duties.

As we watch silently, Satoshi falls, a line of blood dripping from his lips. I feel Kazunari go limp in my arms. He begins to slump. I hold his weight and carefully lower him to the ground.

I watch as Satoshi shuts his eyes and curls his body in pain. I have read that scroll and I know what is happening inside him. He is in excruciating pain. My own eyes water. If only I can take half of that. If only I can ease Satoshi's discomfort a little. Tears burn down my face as Satoshi's gasps for breath reaches us. He twists his head to the side and finally sees Kazunari.

I see the instant he registers that Kazunari is there. His eyes grow hard as he fights the pain in his body, trying to not show how much he hurt so that Kazunari will not worry.
The Third Prince moves from my arms. I have no more strength to stop him. I cannot stop the fact that they love each other. Satoshi will go through this to be with Kazunari.

Kazunari crawls forward slowly, reaching out to Satoshi. "Sa... toshi..."

My tears overflow. I want them to be happy. I can feel Kazunari's intense sadness. It suffocates me.

Satoshi's eye-lids lower. Then he becomes still and silent.

Kazunari cries out. He clutches his heart. His anguish hurts me. I can't tell him the truth. He is broken.

Quick steps behind me remind me of our situation. The soldiers have heard us. They are coming in. Instantly, I rush forward and grab Kazunari, forcing him to his feet. "Go! Leave!"

Our eyes meet. "Go to Jun," I whisper. Keep your wits, Kazunari. Don't lose yourself now.

He shakes his head. I know he is devastated, but he has to get away. By tomorrow morning, the new Heir will be announced and Kazunari should not be here to be questioned.

The soldiers are already at the door and the Healer rushes forth to see Satoshi.

"Go!" I shout desperately. I push him towards the crowd and turn to see the Healer crouch over the Second Prince.

He stands up and proclaims, "Dead!"

The next morning, Satoshi's body is lifted into a coffin and sealed. He is to be buried quickly. The Counselors are in a meeting about what to do. Their plans had gone awry. No one had assumed the Second Prince would take the blame. Now who was to be Heir? They turn to find that the Third Prince is missing. The Emperor has already assured Satoshi that Kazunari's secret, the fact why he cannot rule, will not leave the mouths of the Counselors.

I know they are angry as the Emperor appoints the five-year old Fourth Prince as his Heir.

The Counsel is dismissed. I patiently wait outside because I have requested an audience with the Emperor.

Even before I have finished kneeling, he spoke.

"Scholar Sakurai, we have already granted your request to relieve you of your duties here. From the minute you walk from this room, you are free to go anywhere in the world."

My heart lightens. I dare not raise my head. "Thank you, your majesty. Your humble servant will be forever in your debt."

Satoshi's gravesite was to be a mere place outside the Palace by the forest. Of course, a traitor to the Empire, no matter how loved, would not get more.

I had only a minute at most to get Satoshi out of that coffin before they lit the fire that would burn his body and the coffin to ashes. A mix up with the wagons carrying timber distracts the watchers for a moment. In that time, I hoist Satoshi up on the back of my horse and ride for cover as fast as I can. We are in the forest in an instant.

I reach our campsite in an hour. Satoshi's horse is quietly grazing, our packs set under a tree next to him. I set Satoshi near the campfire I had started. I unroll two blankets from my pack and set one under his head and tuck the other around him.

That night, I pray to the Gods that he wake. Let him not be those unlucky ones who die. Let him wake and not be crippled. Return our Satoshi as he was to us.

I doze off and wake to sounds of coughing. Satoshi's body is shaking. His system is trying to warm itself. I rush to his side. His eyes are still closed and he is deathly pale. Gently, I brush the wet hair from his forehead.

"Please be okay," I whisper. I love Satoshi so much. If anything were to happen to him, I cannot live on. He shudders. I put more wood on the fire. Through the whole night, I tend to Satoshi.

I open my heavy eye-lids. Bright light shines all around me. My back aches. I realize I had fallen asleep while sitting over Satoshi with his head in my lap.

"Good morning," he mutters quietly, gripping the blanket tight around him. His eyes are open and staring up into my face.

Relief washes over me. I smile. All my other worries fall to the back of my mind. "Good morning, sleeper." I run a hand lovingly through his hair.

"You're the sleepy head," he says. He's got enough fight in him that I know he's okay.

I bend down and hug Satoshi. "I'm happy that you're awake."

We take another day to rest and then we set off. The journey would take a day and a half if we were to go at full speed without rest. I knew we could not afford to do so, so we would take our time.

Whenever the horse jar his steps, I see Satoshi wince. He doesn't say much. Doesn't complain. That's why I make sure to watch carefully.

During break the first day, he asks me if the others are expecting us.

"I sent a message to Masaki," I say. He only nods silently.

On the second day, the side-effects of the Death Weed begins to show. We are riding along on our own horses, going at a canter. Satoshi begins to lag a bit behind. That starts me worrying. I glance back and notice that his eye-lids are half-closed.

"Satoshi, are you okay!" I yell.

He doesn't answer. Instead, his nose starts to bleed. He tilts to the side of his saddle and falls off.

"Satoshi!"

I pull hard on the reins and leap down the next second. He is breathing heavily on the ground, but he pushes himself up when I approach and wipes at his nose with his hand.

"I'm okay," he tries to assure me.

I know that if I try to force him to tell the truth, he'd only lie harder. He doesn't know how concerned I am. I am twisting in my saddle every other second to check if he's okay.

The fifth time that he slumps over in his saddle, I had enough. I walk over to his horse.

"What? What are you doing?" he asks me. I quickly remove the saddlebags on his horse and add them to mines. Then, though he begins to protest as he realizes what I am doing, I mount onto his horse behind him. My arms go around Satoshi and I take the reins instead.

"Sho, what are you doing?" he yells angrily and tries to get off.

I press my forehead against his back. "Satoshi, let me do this. If you don't, I'll die from worrying."

I know he is still angry, but he says nothing more. We continue with my horse following close behind.

The fourth night is our last alone together. There are so many things I still had to say. I wanted to ask Satoshi about his brother. When had it started? When did I begin to lose and did not even notice? And most of all, I want Satoshi to be happy. I want to bless him and Kazunari, for him to know.

The words do not come.

As we each lay staring up at the night sky waiting for sleep to come, I remember about my first love. If only I had the words to speak to her then. I could have just said farewell and maybe it would not have hurt so much.

If only I had found my words to Satoshi earlier, would I be here watching him in love with another? I want to find the right words now, the words to make me love Satoshi forever, even while he laughs with Kazunari. The words to make him immortal in my heart.

Regret washes over me when I begin to feel my eyes-lids grow heavy. This day would end without me doing anything. It is regrettable. I hate my inability to express myself. Still, I fall asleep.

Something pokes me. I feel a hand digging into my arm. The pain wakes me. What? What's going on? I hear a strange noise. I turn to the side and sees Satoshi reaching across to me for help. He gasps for breath.

How stupid I am. I slide myself across and hastily pull Satoshi into my arms. "What's wrong? What's wrong, Satoshi!?"

"Sho... " He clenches his eyes shut. "I... can't breathe... "

Fear and worry crosses me at once. What can I do?! How can I help him?

"Satoshi. Don't worry, Satoshi. I'll help you." It was more like an assurance for myself. I look around us as if I will find my answer there, for help to come. Satoshi tries to draw in air, but he cannot. I panic. What can I do?!

My eyes water. I love Satoshi so much. How can I lose him here? All I ever wanted was for him to be happy.

"Sho..." He grips my wrist. "Sho..."

I look down into Satoshi's face. He has a hard time breathing, but he tries to comfort me. I stare into his eyes and I know I will never love anyone as much I do Satoshi ever again.
As my panic subsides, I bend my head to catch his lips. Satoshi's hands come up to grip the front of my shirt as I give him air.

I pull back for breath and stare down at him. His breathing is beginning to calm. Satoshi looks up at me. I bend forward again. He stays still in my arms.

Later, we lay side by side, waiting for sleep to come again. Satoshi curls up against me and my arm is his pillow. We are silent, just content to look up at the stars.

But then Satoshi breaks the silence. He mutters, "Sho, I'm sorry."

I pretend to not know what he's talking about. "Sorry about what?"

He pauses and then answers quietly, "That I cannot love you."

I know. I know, Satoshi. There is a long stretch of silence once more.

And then, as if all this time it had been waiting for this one moment, I finally know what to say. I had my words. I had the courage. I smile in the darkness where no one could see. "I love you, Ohno Satoshi, and I know you don't love me. That's why I will kick your butts if you and Kazunari don't get along. You both have to be happy." Just those simple words were necessary. It had been that easy all along. Just this moment is enough.

"All right." Satoshi snuggles against me. "All right, Sho."

I hold him and I know this is the end. I'm happy even if I'm heartbroken.

By midmorning, we have come to our destination. A big hill lies ahead of us. We are in the plains, surrounded by tall grass. The day is beautiful. In the far distance, there is the speck of a building.

Beside me, Satoshi asks, "Where is this?"

I smile because I see three people now on the hill. "This is where it continues."

He frowns, pursing his lower lip. "What continues?"

I see them clearly now. Jun is carrying Aiba on his back, but Aiba is taller and heavier. At the top, Jun falls down face forward. Laughing, Aiba gets off and waves at us merrily. He is too excited and forgets to give Jun a hand, who stands dusting himself while half-amused, half-angry.

Kazunari finally catches up. In his hands, he's clutching a single scroll. He stands at the top of the hill and stares down.

I sigh. The continuation. "The story of our special kingdom."

I don't think Satoshi hears me. He leaps off his tired horse and goes running. I'm cheerful nonetheless. In the distance, I see Kazunari looking at the running Satoshi. He falls down on his knees in tears. Aiba laughs at him and Kazunari hides his face in embarassment as he uncontrollably weeps. Jun is unhappy that he cannot get his lover's attention.

Satoshi is halfway up the hill now.

I stretch my arms out into the air. We're all here. Together. The start of our new merry life.

* * *

Heir Ohno:
I ask Ma. Ma, where are my brothers? Where are my brothers? Hmph! She just smiles. Always, always.

I ask Pa. Pa, where are my brothers? Did they go play?

Pa touches my hair. I hate it. I hate when he messes with my hair. But I love him. I love Pa. Oh, and Ma.

Pa says, he always says, "Your brothers? Hm. They're off together, creating a storm."

* * *

END

Thanks everyone for reading it this far!
I'm so grateful to all of you and your comments! ToT
love you all<3