One World with Seven Sins ...3/8

[kanu_x]

Edited: 2013.02.10

Title: One World with Seven Sins
Feature/Pairing: only Yama, OCs
Rating: PG-13 (incest, sexual references)
Genre: au, solely romance based: no subplots
Summary: Stepbrothers Ohno and Sho gradually fall in love over the years.
Their troubles learning to accept and understand their feelings. Aka frustration.
Part: 3/8
A/N: This fic was actually inspired by Tensaibaka's lovely Juntoshi fic Prisoner of Love - Incestuous Love.

Ohno basically became a Sakurai, but unlike Sho and Jun I usually just call Ohno by surname. So here I use Sho's first name but Ohno's last name.

Previous: Vice ONE & TWO

Vice THREE: Wrath - vengeance, anger

* * *

Hate is a powerful emotion; as strong as Love.
But they are not opposites. Hatred runs beside it.

Mrs. Ohno drew the curtains back from the kitchen window. It was already dark out, but the time of the day did not interest her. She frowned at the fluffy white flakes descending from the heavens. It had been snowing for quite some time now and the pile-up of snow only kept growing bigger.

At that moment, Ohno and Mr. Sakurai walked pass her to the living room and front door. They bent down and pulled on their boots. She turned around to address them. "It's late out. Why don't you shovel tomorrow?"

Mr. Sakurai shook his head. "No can do." Then he nodded to Ohno. "Ready?"

Ohno pulled open the door and headed out into the darkness followed by his stepfather. The door closed behind them, but not before a gust of cold wind blew in. Mrs. Ohno shivered.

She watched silently from the wide window as the two men shoveled, her arms crossed. She knew it was cold and the work strenuous. The two paused every once in a while to blow into their hands but it was inefficient in warming their fingers. They did not speak because both wanted to conserve their energy. She felt guilty that she could not help them. After a while, Mrs. Ohno had drawn up a chair to the window. Inside the house, it was still and silent as she continued to watch.

Hasty steps coming down the stairs broke her concentration. When, she turned, Sho had already passed her to the front door. "Sho!" she began.

He quickly bent down to pull on his boots and muttered angrily, "None of you told me." If he hadn't by chance glanced out, he wouldn't have known that they had been shoveling without him. But the truth was they had purposely left him out because they had agreed to not disturb his studying. It was Mrs. Ohno's duty to stop him.

"You shouldn't--" Before she could finish, the door already closed behind him.

Outside, Ohno was sweating beneath all the layers he wore, yet his fingers and toes were frozen. Exhausted, he paused for a second to regain his breath. His hand rested on the handle of the shovel and he sniffed. Well, at least he hadn't started coughing. It was damn cold.

As he stood lost in his thoughts, his tool was suddenly stolen from behind him. Startled, he turned to see Sho working at his side with his shovel.

"Sho!" Ohno began. He immediately reached for the tool, but his brother blocked him with his body all the while still working. "Sho, you have to study. Go back in."

His brother did not answer. At a loss, Ohno looked up and saw their father watching them. Ohno expressed a plea for help, but their father only shrugged because he knew there was nothing to be done about his stubborn son and went back to shoveling. Ohno glanced down at the hunched figure of his younger brother. What was he to do then?

Later, he sat on the frozen doorstep, staring at the laborers. His eyes were fixated on Sho who was perspiring and freezing at the same time, but never paused to rest. Serious Sho. Sho who had for some reason distanced himself.

What do you want? he asked his brother who had taken his place and his workload. He could hear his own heartbeat in his ears, pounding heavily. Sho, I don't understand you.

When they returned inside the warm house, Sho immediately rushed back up the stairs to his room and studies. Ohno watched where he had disappeared, full of remorse. What could he do to close that gap? It had always been Sho who reached for him. Now that he was withdrawing, Ohno did not know how to reach him. He wanted to know the reason. Why was Sho so different now?

A few days later, he woke up in the morning feeling low spirited.

It was still dark outside despite being six. He grumbled about winter.

Ohno slunked out of bed wearily. By the time he finished washing and changing, the sky had lightened considerably, thankfully.

In the kitchen, Mrs. Ohno was already up and starting breakfast. She smiled at her son as he sat at the table groggy-eyed. "Satoshi, how are you feeling?"

"It's cold," he muttered as if that explained everything.

An hour later, Mr. Sakurai came down and they had their first meal of the day.

Ohno ate quietly as his parents murmured to each other. Not that it would make any difference, but he wished Sho had come down. Yet, he knew his brother had slept late yesterday and might've wanted to sleep in.

By afternoon, Sho still hadn't risen. Mr. Sakurai had promised his wife to take her out shopping for the rest of the day, so they departed but not before Ohno's mother got him to promise to warm up Sho's meal when he woke up.

As soon as they were gone, Ohno dropped all pretenses and anxiously ran upstairs. He peeked into Sho's room and was greeted with dimness. The window curtains were still drawn shut.

"Sho?" he whispered. When no answer came, his pulse increased. He had expected his brother to be fully awake, at least by now. And then Sho would just be hiding in his room as he was doing frequently, probably avoiding Ohno. "Sho?" Ohno repeated. He edged in and flipped on the light switch.

Relief washed over him when he saw his brother's lump under the bed covers. So Sho had probably just stayed up again. Ohno walked over and shook him under all the sheets. "Hey, Sho wake up," he whispered because he could not bring it in him to raise his voice. Nothing. He shook his brother again, a little stronger this time. "Sho, it's almost evening."

When there came no response, Ohno bit his upper lip debating what to do. Expose his brother?

He gripped the bed sheets and One, Two! pulled them back. "Sho!"

He was greeted with the sight of a perspiring brother in the throngs of a fever. Sho's face was flushed and his whole body damp. "Crap!" Ohno cursed in panic, this time falling to his knees and quickly running a hand over the other's forehead. Wet heat spread through his palm. "Sho... Sho?" Ohno whispered, his heart aching. His brother was in pain and he never realized.

In response to his soft words, Sho eased his eye-lids open with difficulty. He said nothing, but his expression conveyed his torment. Ohno caressed his forehead gently, lovingly. He cared so much. "It'll be all right," he whispered, his throat parched. And then he stood and left for some materials.

When Ohno returned, he had a bowl of cool water and a towel. He wiped his brother's face and neck, and then began unbuttoning Sho's pajamas. Sho stirred when he realized what was happening and Ohno looked up. He met his brother's eyes and he said, "Go back to sleep."

Because he could do nothing, because he did not have the strength to fight, Sho complied.

His skin was hot and damp with sweat. As Ohno wiped Sho's body, he couldn't help feeling uneasy. Why did his heart race? Why did he feel so damn nervous? Why did he think about Sho's girlfriend and feel envious? His face flushed when his blood rushed. Sho's defined arms and torso. He wanted to hide right then. His damn, foolish self. But, Sho had need of him. Just for him, Ohno lowered his head in shame and kept on.

When he finished, he woke his brother up again and made him change. If the situation wasn't so serious, Ohno would have laughed. Who knew the day would come when he had to help Sho dress?

"Let's change your boxers too," he said while holding the new ones. At his suggestion Sho did not move. Ohno stared at him and his brother stared back.

Finally, "Turn around, idiot," Sho murmured quietly but with enough irritation in his voice to be threatening.

Ohno shrugged. They were both men here. Sho groaned, but not in pain. He would not do it. In the end, Ohno did turn around as Sho changed underwear. However, he still had to help his brother pull up his pants and button the shirt.

When Sho laid down again, Ohno went downstairs to cook him some congee. It took him a little while because he did not add enough water at the start, but soon the rice was soft enough to consume.

When he took the meal up with some medicine and offered it to his brother, the recipient was reluctant to eat.
"Just give me a can of peaches and the pills," Sho muttered. When Ohno's face fell and he said, "All right," in a small voice. Sho caved in. As Ohno stood with the tray in hand, he beckoned. "Give it here.

And Sho ate the slimy thing Ohno made. He had difficulty eating and it would have been easier if someone fed him, but for Ohno to do that? Impossible. So he finished and was completely exhausted. He turned and saw his brother dozing off in the chair he had pulled over and had settled next to the bed. As the sick patient, Sho grew irritated. Ohno could sleep anywhere.

"Satoshi..." Sho started and just that jerked Ohno awake.

Ohno looked around him first, and then at Sho. "Finished?" he mumbled, barely audible.

Instead of taking the tray downstairs, Ohno set it down on Sho's desk. Then he climbed into bed with his younger brother.

"What are you doing?!" Sho whispered in disbelief, his pitch getting high. His head hurt. Something was beating so fast against his skull. His heart too, for that matter, and it wasn't all that good for him.

Without answering, Ohno snuggled up next to Sho tiredly. He wrapped an arm around the other and muttered with eyes closed, "Let's go to sleep."

Sho had always known Ohno was incredible. Ohno could do whatever he wanted if he put a mind to it. Or even if he didn't think. But he did ease up and for some reason, he felt at peace. His brother could do that to him. Only Satoshi.

Just when sleep was about to come, Sho heard Ohno's voice from far off. "When it's my turn, you'll make me some congee too?"

Promise. Sho fell into deep slumber.

Ohno awoke hours later and saw that it was already midnight. He realized that he was sleeping next to Sho, curled up and all cozy! Guiltily, Ohno remembered. He had been so tired. It had all been about getting sleep right away and he hadn't thought about his brother's comfort at all.

He noticed the tray on the desk was gone and when he went downstairs, he saw that the dishes were clean. His mother must have done it. What had she thought when she saw them? he wondered. But they were innocent, right?
Then he returned to check on Sho. His brother was sleeping soundly and his fever had broken. Thankfully.

Ohno looked down at the younger boy's sleeping form, his peaceful expression, and he felt warmth cross his heart. Sho could so easily ease him by doing nothing at all.

But then his brother was still so distant. That thought brought him out of his daze. Ohno left Sho's room and went to his art studio in which he had just set up a few months ago in the lower level of the house.

In the room, he sat before a white canvas and drew. No thoughts. It was all feeling going into his hands. The lines formed together to create one picture, the sketch of a handsome young man. Only one person: Sakurai Sho.

I'm sick, Ohno thought once he recognized the caricature and just that caused him to drop his pencil. What was he thinking? Actually, what had he been feeling when he drew this? Sho was his brother. Just a brother.

Ohno stowed the sketch away in a secret place. He did not want anyone seeing. He did not understand the picture, and he did not want someone else comprehending what he did not.

The next morning, Sho woke to daylight streaming through a small crack in his window curtains. He blinked and realized that his fever was gone. So was Ohno. But of course, when Sho looked at the clock, it was already mid morning.

In the bathroom while he washed up, he debated on what to do. Should he continue turning away from Ohno? It wore him out everytime. It made him unhappy. Should he just give up?

He finished and went downstairs. On the steps, he could hear his family laughing. The voices were further away, so they must be all gathered in the living room. He proceeded quietly.

On the last step, Sho stopped and watched. His parents and Ohno were playing video games. Sho watched his brother's smiles and the smiles of his parents and he felt a familiar ache in his heart. He was too attached to Ohno. He was too attached to his older stepbrother. The grip twisting his insides tightened. He hated this feeling. Why did he have to feel so ashamed whenever Ohno's laughter warmed him?

Sho gritted his teeth and he turned back to head upstairs. He had to calm down before reappearing. And when he did, he would have his mask on. And he would be cold to Ohno again. Even if it pained him.

Like so, the days went by. The snow melted and the frozen bodies of water thawed. Sho turned a year older and the time he had a fever and Ohno had taken care of him became a lost and forgotten moment.

During spring, a special event was occuring.

Hatred is a frightening emotion; dark and evil.

Graduation. It was Sho's last day in university.

After the reception, his family took a picture together before the graduate ran off to meet with his friends. Ohno stared at his back and he felt as if the distance between them had grown some more.

"Aren't you going to go with Sho?" his parents inquired. "I thought you were acquaintances with his friends. This might be your last chance to see some of them."

Ohno shrugged. Even if he did know a few, whenever he approached Sho his brother would give him a cold look. He hated it.

"Go, Satoshi," Mr. Sakurai urged him. "Your mother and I will be going back to work, but you took the day off, didn't you? Join them."

Because he did not want to tell his parents the reason why he was so reluctant, Ohno nodded and went off to find his brother and his group among the crowd.

Unsurprisingly, he had a difficult time. After five minutes, Ohno gave up and stopped for a breath of fresh air. Too much on his mind. Too much worrying about what Sho would do when Ohno finally found him.

While blowing off steam, like fate he finally saw Sho and his group of friends. Once he stopped looking, he found what he was looking for. His heart fell. In truth, he actually wished he had never found them. They were laughing and talking and so when Ohno timidly called out, none of them heard. Unnerved, Ohno gathered his wits and went closer.

He walked silently behind the group and sucessfully went unnoticed. But then he questioned himself. Why did he want to be invisible anyway? Wasn't it better if they knew he was there? He reasoned with himself and squeezed out some courage. He wished he didn't have to talk.

"Sakurai, where's your brother?" a boy asked suddenly, interrupting Ohno's decisive moment. "Call him over."

A girl chimed in, "Yea. Where is he? I wish to see him one more time before I leave."

Now was his chance. Ohno opened his mouth to speak, but then Sho broke in.

"He probably went home, thank goodness. That guy is irritating anyway."

"Him?" the same girl retorted. "No way!"

"He always gets on my nerves and always follow me. It's great that he left."

For as long as Love lasts, Hatred can too. A lifetime. Several generations.

Sho was surprised to find that he was home before Ohno. Where had his brother gone? He wondered if he should ask his parents, but they were already asleep. He did not want to wake them up. More importantly, he didn't want them to know that he was worried over such a small thing. Of course Ohno was an adult and he had a right to stay out as long as he wanted. It still made Sho uneasy though.

And then as he lay in bed restlessly staring up at the dark ceiling, his cellphone rang. It was Ohno's ringtone.

"Satoshi?" Sho said into the phone, too fast for his liking.

The bartender answered with a negative. "He's damn drunk. Come and get him out of here before he becomes someone's prey."

It only took him half an hour to find the bar.

Ohno saw him approach and all he could think of was the words his brother had uttered that day. He was annoying? He was hated? Well, why couldn't Sho have told him? That way, Ohno would not have made an ass of himself for so long. He felt stupid and senile. He was just another old man who got fooled. So that was why his brother had been pulling away, giving him the cold shoulder. Ohno was irritating. From now on, he would keep himself away then.

He laid his head on the table. If only he could go to sleep right there. He was so tired.

The bartender poked his arm. "Hey you, wake up. Your brother's here."

Ohno felt Sho standing by his side. He knew Sho was reaching out to hold him and bitterness crossed his heart.
He could feel his brother's warm hands near his arm, and he didn't want such a hypocrite to touch him. Ohno shifted away and Sho's hand stopped short of grabbing him.

"Satoshi?" he murmured, confused, hurt, and worried.

His voice sounded so innocent.Ohno hated him. Liar. Sho had betrayed him. Not just today. Since the day he had distanced himself. And he had never said one word to make it clear.

Ohno raised his head and glared at his astonished brother. There was a need to get this anger out, to ease his own bitterness and pain. Traitor. It was stifling and he couldn't breathe.

"Get away from me," he hissed through clenched teeth at the blurry form of his brother. "I hate you." I hate you.
He did not care that Sho flinched. He moved out of his chair and stumbled out of the bar.

And Ohno did not care that as he made his way home on foot, staggering most of the way, Sho kept an eye on him from three feet behind. He knew Sho was just faking concern. He was doing what he always did best, lying and pretending.

When Ohno slammed shut his bedroom door in his brother's face and fell into bed. He cried. He hated Sho, but he hated himself more. He was such a jerk. Why didn't he notice sooner? He had never wanted to hurt Sho or irritate his brother. He would have kept himself away. Both of them were despicable.

The backlash of his actions showed itself the very next day.

In the morning, Sho did not greet him like usual. When he had been cold, he at least acknowledged his brother. But now as he passed by Ohno in the kitchen, he did not even turn to look at him. Ohno knew as Sho silently walked out the back door that it was he who had broken the last few strands between them. The chasm he had seen separating Sho and him had now become a bottomless pit.

In his art studio, Ohno sat before a white canvas once more. It was blank. He stared and stared, waiting for inspiration to come, for any thought or feeling to hit him and transform his mind. Nothing. Emptiness.

He lowered his head and covered his face with his hands. Why couldn't he draw? It had been so easy before. His way of finding peace. Of freedom. Happiness.

He realized Sho had taken that spot. His stepbrother had unconsciously taken the place of art in being his happiness. Useless, annoying Sho. Hateful Sho! He couldn't draw because he was so unhappy. He was drowning. He couldn't breathe.

For the second time in twenty-four hours, Ohno wept into his hands. He had lost his art.

But here’s the difference, the frightening aspect. Hatred destroys everything and there's nothing to go back to.

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Next Vice FOUR: Lust - sexual desire