White out

[aresrising05]

I gave myself thirty two seconds to consider my alternatives. Thirty two seconds later my predictive subroutines had showed me my odds, but nothing had changed, there was only one option. I called up my scan of the Red Giant, I focused my attention on the fifty six pixels that showed the Star Engine devouring this ancient behemoth of a star. I had

Comments

[halfshellvenus]

The plan was simple and suicidal in equal parts, but it was the best odds I had.
By the end, it seemed that it must be a suicidal choice, but we can clearly feel why the narrator would still embrace it. It's a pre-emptive strike to save her home world, and those are the motivations that drive most of us, in any place or era.

[aresrising05]

Ages ago I read "Story" by Robert McKee, taught me that the most important component of a story was to build a character the audience can feel with. What makes a person you can connect with is how they feel, even if they are a giant space warship.

[eternal_ot]

' Only the old fought, the young were too precious to waste on war.' - Interesting thought that.
Enjoyed the world you built up...Gripping till the end..Good job!

[dee_aar2]

I loved the concept here. The old sacrificing for the young. The new great grandmother finding her new found status precious even in a space body and processor mind and wanting to protect it at all cost.

I am curious though about the biological phase ... what happened to the body ?
The write up was very engaging... well done

[aresrising05]

Thanks, I have a transhumanist bent. So my idea was that when people wanted to try something different they upload their minds into a machine and try that for a while. However I can't envision a non-destructive way of uploading a human being.

[whipchick]

I really loved this line, it encapsulates so much about this world - "Only the old fought, the young were too precious to waste on war."

[sinnamongirl]

I'm impressed; you basically packed a whole novel's worth of ideas into one short story! I like the elements of, for instance, needing to be *old* to fight the war, instead of young (there's a lot of interesting subtext to that; I've sort of wondered, actually, why we don't send out like a squadron of grannies now and then, if we have a bad war. Because you know who gets mad? Especially when their grandkids are threatened? GRANNIES).

Good job!

[aresrising05]

If physicality no longer matters, then you should send the Granny division. They could guilt you as they beat you up :)

[sinnamongirl]

Haha, right? Double whammy!