i don't know if he reads this, but i'm sorry if i let you down last night. i just have trouble showing affection around others. i really do like you, a lot.

fucking pain all over my body

the beauty in prescott makes up for the overload of drama and immaturity that result from their lack of activities to keep busy. blah. i fucking hate this one kid, literally hate him. if he died i wouldn't give a shit, i wouldn't even go to the funeral if i was invited. that's how much i fucking hate him. if there weren't penalties for killing ( Read more... )

kk, things between jordan and me are much cooler. today, we talked for a long time, as friends, and i must admit i enjoyed it very much. we never talked like that when we were going out, he's so much cooler and yeah, awesome. blah, i forgot to take my pills during practice for my cramps, so we were doing these sprints in the craziness and i thought ( Read more... )

since halloween jordan and i hadn't talked for a week. that night i believed him to have dumped me. apparently he didn't. i had to dump him monday night. i mean, he never calls me, or calls back when he says he will, or comes to my orchestra concerts, or even gave me anything for my birthday- not even a phone call. i mean, wtf, i barely even got to ( Read more... )

i just watched cinderella story for the first time, it was so korny, but certain parts made me flutter- like when here you me came on, i was like omg! only without saying it. swimming is pretty cool, some envious, but complimentary. my ideas... anyways, my bf is being a little bitch. i really don't understand how he functions. after what happened ( Read more... )

i just got back from my swim banquet/party. it is officially over- hs swim 04-05. oh man, i almost started to cry, it is quite possible i may never see jonathan- a great coach and person- ever again. he's not coming back next year, he'll be on duty- airforce. i got several awards- went up to collect more than anybody, and it felt damn good. i got a ( Read more... )

state...we got 17th in the 200 medley after being seated 24th- YES ( Read more... )

i am 16 as of monday. thanks to all the friends who called me, and thanks to those who didn't. i got an mp3 player. cool. lauren and beth really came through for me. i was still sick monday morning from my weekend spill and was having a completely shitty day and then lauren totally has two bouquet of flowers and balloons and movies and then later ( Read more... )

after a disasterous thursday morning, thursday night hit the shits. it was during practice where it started to hit me, that she was really gone and never coming back. my goggles caught any tears that may have fallen, and no one could really see then. my coach is so good to me. later that night, something bad happened with my stomach. at school i ( Read more... )

she's dead. this morning, the breathing stopped. but it's better this way. she had a major stroke after a series of mini strokes on tuesday morning, my mom tried to wake her up, but she wouldn't, she was just breathing very hard, like the puffing. she was in a coma up til this morning. i can't stand to see my mother cry like that. but, if she were ( Read more... )