oh, i am over the guy. he's straight, well things still come up here and there that clue him not to be, but basically, his hairs getting longer, i'm thinking he's uglier, and an asshole. i didn't see him forever, then saw him again, and realized he was a douche bag, who is not worth my time, not that i EvER had a chance with him, even if he wasn't

the heathers are just going to bed. they have shit to do anyways.she has a boyfriend now so she probably won't have much free time. katie jerue won't respond to my texts. katie phelps doesn't answer her phone when i call anymore. sarah never answers her phone anymore, or responds to texts, her roommates don't really like me. mary is in buffalo. ( Read more... )

so, mike is bein weird about it. fuck i want zac. fuck i really want things to be like they used to. wow, what a week. i definitely went through a lot of shit this week. But it's up to me, to make this week the bomb, so that's what i'll do. fuck, i just gotta get my shit together. i need to get over zac, asap. i need to hit the books harder, i need ( Read more... )

so i just came out to my mom, and called thee and told her, and i should feel relieve that they're okay with it, but i feel really confused, and sad, and awkward. I think after I sleep, i'll feel a bit better, but fuck I just don't feel right, right now.

so last night was my first night in the dorms. The first time i actually spent the night. The first day i went out with sarah at night, and slept at her house, then i slept at home the day after. So I dunno, I think it's better here than CMU, but still weird. I went home today for about an hour, and picked up some stuff i forgot. Then later i got ( Read more... )

so i don't think ive updated since i decided to switched to EMU. that's because i've felt great being back at home. tomorrow i move into my dorm at emu, and i'm really excited. I wasn't excited for cmu, it was just like another day, i got there, and it was like, meh okay. But right i'm actually really looking forward to my dorm, and my roommate is ( Read more... )

so things were better today. I still need to go to the doctor tomorrow cuz i'm not back to normal. The pills my mom gave me i think helped a bit, but they take a few days to really kick in so i don't think they really did anything today. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow morning and hopefully they'll give me a perscription, because it's still hard. ( Read more... )

so i have an appointment with health services tomorrow at 9:30, so hopefully i'll be able to get what i need to feel better. Things are still rough right now, and all i want to do is just feel normal.

i'm freaking out. I keep on having like little panic attacks. All of the sudden I'm breathing really hard, I feel alone, lost, and just so confused. Every once in a while for a split second a moment of clarity comes through, and makes me think everything is good, but it's only a split second. It's like the sun shines through, but as soon as it does ( Read more... )

i couldn't take the homesickness anyone. when my mom told me i could come home tonight, all of the sudden i felt normal. I got in the car, and for the first time at cmu, i felt great. I like i did at home, because i knew i was coming home. Right now though i feel very weird, like i'm not suppose to be here, because really i shouldn't be. I just ( Read more... )